| Based on | Click to view |
| Artist | SilverSamurai [gallery] |
| Time spent | 1 hour, 32 minutes |
| Drawing sessions | 3 |
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"I fell apart, but got back up again,"




It was a question nobody wanted to hear; "Are you afraid of death?"
The male heaves a sigh, grinding the backs of his paws against reddened eyes. A patient he'd been working with for at least a week got her final diagnosis -- unfortunately, the last diagnosis that she would ever receive. Her fearful expression has Fell forcing a smile, though it falls slowly as he mulls the question over silently. He's exhausted - rightfully so. Though he should be home right now, relaxing and kicking back, preparing himself for his next shift in a mere eight hours, he'd taken to sitting with the female during her final hours and reminiscing about all the good times they've had. She had asked a few general questions. Ones that when answered would give the woman a better understanding of the type of guy Fell really was... but this last question had taken him off guard and he wasn't entirely certain how he should answer it.
"Honestly?" he offers gently, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, paws dangling lifelessly between them. "I'm terrified of dying."
He can't meet her eyes; he's ashamed.
"Why did you tell me earlier that you weren't afraid?" She snaps in return, anger evident though he chalks it up to fear in general. She was grieving and he would allow her that without taking offense to anything she says. It was true, he had lied. But the fact of the matter was, he had a reputation to uphold -- not just his name, but his title as well. Doctors needed to remain calm in any situation. Distance themselves and see their patients as merely... patients. Fell was easily moved by others - his heart ached whenever he was faced with difficult decisions. Many would say that his emotions would get in the way of a proper diagnosis, though just because he connected with his patients, became personable with them, didn't make him any less of an exceptional healer.
"I'm a Doctor," Fell lifts a paw, waving it absently as though he could pull the correct words to use out of thin air. "I face death every day, and if I let it know that I was afraid of it... well, it would kick my butt."
She smiles, though it's faint. He barely catches it before she hardens her stare once more.
"So, that's it then... huh? We're all scared."
Fell hums in response, ears falling to flatten in despair. It was true-- everyone was afraid of something, whether it be death or something else. Logically he knew it didn't make him weak to admit it, but he had a mask to wear while in his scrubs. He had a face to present to the public and to his patients, and he failed to keep it in tact more often than not. A gentle nod confirms her statement, and the female drops her head to the pillows to stare at the ceiling quietly. Her exhale makes Fell think of her as deflating-- and in a way, he supposed, she kind of was.
"You don't have to stay, Doctor." The girl bites, though her anger is tapering off and sadness seems to be taking it's place. "I have family coming soon to see me, and you clocked out over an hour ago."
Fell smiles genuinely this time, though melancholy taints the edges of his maw. It wasn't really unlike the complex male to stay behind to check up on patients, but it hadn't occurred to him really that he was spending a decent amount of time with this patient in particular. He shakes his head, shifting so he can pull the chair closer to the female's bedside.
"I've read your chart every day for a week. You don't have anyone coming." She averts her eyes and Fell leans forward to catch her gaze. Reaching out with a confident paw, he grabs hold of the other's paw gently and flashes another smile when he feels her give a little squeeze. "But that doesn't mean that you have to go through this alone. I'm here for you. I promised you that I would be, didn't I?"
The girl finally does meet his gaze, eyes blurry and feathers tear stained. She mouths a silent 'thank you' before picking herself up to wrap her free arm around his neck. She pulls him in for a hug, and he accepts it with a deep chested chuckle. When she leans back into the pillows once more, she looks... peaceful. The grieving process was one he'd witnessed countless times, but this was by far the most hard hitting. The male wipes at his own eyes, flicking away tears before they can fall. The silence that falls between them isn't awkward. Unspoken words could sometimes sit with you the most, in the most awe inspiring way.
"Doctor Fell?"
His ears flick up in response, twitching as his attention is drawn to her instead of the machines surrounding them.
"What was your best experience in this hospital?" She needs to hear something lovely, and he's more than willing to provide. The male quirks a brow, tilting his head to ponder the question for a moment but a former patient of his does come to mind, and he chuckles softly to himself at the memory.

We have a Code Amber in progress, Code Amber.
Fell lifts his head from his arms, wiping at the bit of drool that dribbled off his chin and onto the table to pool. He didn't remember falling asleep, but he was most certainly awake now. A Code Amber was nothing to mess around with-- a missing child was definitely no laughing matter and Fell jumped up to run out of the room so quickly, he flinched at the loud clanging of the metal chair behind him as it was kicked back and hit the floor. When he entered the hallway, he was nearly bowled over by another doctor. Two nurses are racing in the other direction and there's a blue merle male shouting at another doctor down at the end of the hall. The skeletal healer sniffs quickly, ears flicking to attention in concern as he hurries his way toward the altercation.
"You need to find my daughter right now, or so help me--"
"Whoa, whoa! Hey!" Fell intervenes, hands on the merle's arm to pull him back. He looks like your run of the mill wannabe gangster - a toque placed loosed atop his head and loose fitted clothing that made him appear more slight than he already was. Piercing blues burn through Fell as they settle on him, and the slender male actually swallows rather thickly. This male looks all bark, but there was something about him that screamed trouble and danger. The female that approached shortly after to push through the group and tower in Fell's personal space screamed danger even more so-- alarms rang in the Doctor's head as she crowded him against the wall, the merle male growling behind her and upping on his toes to glare him down.
"Don't you dare lay a paw on my husband. You're all incompetent. Leaving a young child alone in a hospital room after an exam? We were told to wait outside, and now look where that's--"
"Whoa! Hey!" Fell tucks his chin a bit to guard his throat, eyes glancing at gleaming fangs as the woman silently snarls. "Look, somebody needs to tell me what's going on! I promise you, I'll help you, okay?" The male lifts his hands slowly, placating, before slipping sideways and away from the confinement. He pulls in a breath before addressing them both with a fixing tug of his lab coat. "Please, trust me. I just need to know what's going on."
"Our daughter--"
The merle steps forward, side-stepping his larger wife and shoving Fell roughly against the wall. Fell wonders if he's ever going to be able to get anything done or if he's destined to be confined to the time out corner. "What's going on is our daughter is missing. Gone! We brought her in for some tests and the next thing we know, everyone's scrambling to find her. Do you guys actually know what you're doing, or did you all get your degrees out of a claw machine? You --"
"Jesse, that's enough." Floppy ears pull back at the sound of his wife's voice and though he's on the edge of attack, hackles raised, he does back down and he allows Fell some breathing room.
Fell once more fixes his lab coat, offering the kindest smile he can muster before asking which examination room she has been in. The point him in the right direction, give him the number, and before the merle - Jesse - can speak up again the Doctor is fleeing the couple's wrath. Yes, they had absolutely every right to be angry with the hospital. It was unacceptable, leaving a frightened child alone in an examination room. But Fell had faith-- he always had faith.
He steps into the room quietly, closing the door behind him to block out the hustle and bustle of the halls. In the silence, Fell steps softly about, examining the room. His eyes settle on the counters, the windows, the chairs, and the bed. The chart that had been tossed on the bed in a panic, he assumes, has dropped to the floor and Fell figures it might be easier to know who he's actually looking for... though when he crouches down to grab the clipboard, he hears a tiny noise. Knitting his brows, Fell drops a little lower, catching the tip of a fluffy, fox-like tail under the bed before it disappears into the darkness beneath. He glances at the chart quickly before dropping all the way to his belly, muzzle laying on the floor as he waits for his eyes to adjust to the new light and perspective.
"Maisy-May?" A whimper is what he receives in response, but it's better than nothing at all. A relieved sigh escapes the male, incredibly pleased that he wouldn't have to tear the entire hospital apart in order to find her. "Hey, sweetheart. It's okay... my name is Doctor Fell. Are you a little bit scared, honey?"
"They said... they said I needed a shot. They were going to put a needle in me."
Fell smiles toward her, pleased that she has wiggled a little closer in order to speak with him. He gets a better look at her, expression fond and gentle as she studies his features. Fell nods slightly, humming in response. "Mn, that can be a little bit scary, huh? Hey..." he shuffles back a little to offer her more room. "Why don't you come out from under there, so we can talk a bit okay? I promise, I'm not going to hurt you. Nobody here wants to hurt you, Maisey-May, we all just want to help you get better so you can grow up big and strong like your Daddy."
"More like big and strong like my Mommy." she whispers back, and Fell can't help but let a little chuckle escape him.
"She is pretty big and strong, isn't she? Terrifying woman..."
Maisey giggles back, and Fell notices the tip of her tail wagging. It was a good start, and though it did take a little more coaxing to get her out from under the bed, she did emerge and she did agree to sit with him on the bed while he explained what the procedures were all for. While she spoke to him, Fell paged one of the other doctors to the examination room - stating that he should not enter, but that he should bring the parents so she can be comfortable and calm instead of spooked again. The moment the door opens and they both turn to see who it is, Maisey drops her head in shame when she sets her eyes on Jesse and Sebastian.
They aren't angry. Not in the slightest. Instead, they both rush to her side, Jesse pulling her into himself for a hug so he can cry into her hair, and Sebastian rubbing her arms and back to sooth her. They both offer reassurances that she wasn't in trouble, and Sebastian mouths a gentle thank you toward the doctor who had stepped back and away to offer the family their space. Fell nods curtly, a happy smile painting his features.
"She's a very smart little girl, that Maisey-May." Fell offers, arms crossing as he leans against the work top comfortably. "She was telling me all about her science experiments with her Daddy. Isn't that right, darling?"
The girl nods back eagerly, leaning up to kiss at her father's face to calm him. Fell had never seen a male cry as openly as Jesse was doing, but he supposed he'd be doing that same had he a child and he or she went missing. Fell offers them the room for a short while, telling them he'd come back soon. The last thing he hears before he closes the door behind him to leave the family be makes him bark a loud laugh.
"Do I still have to get a shot, Mommy?"






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