445: Normal Type Swap MismagiusUsername + ID: eonduo + 1005105
Archive: bamPokemon name: Kitti
Pokemon typing: Normal
pokemon pronouns: she/her
The PokéTube channel
KittiCooks was a relatively quiet one, despite the exuberance of the presenter. Becoming a PokéTuber wasn't always Kitti's dream. This side project was just an experiment to see how much Pokédollar she could make off of ad revenue; the answer was not much. If she was going to accomplish her goal of making mad cash, she needed to change tactics. So, after an all-nighter to put her new video together, she had her masterpiece.
Make Easy Soup in Under 5 Minutes - Delicious Recipe for the Whole Family!
by KittiCooks
With that, she went to bed, getting her hard-earned beauty sleep.
The script of the video lay strewn across the floor, alongside last weekend's Lava Cookie crumbs and a couple Rage Candy Bar wrappers. It read:
Hey PokéGamers! This is Kitti from KittiCooks, back with another amazing recipe! Today I'll be making Mama Kitti's Famous Soup. It is a recipe from my own Mama, and me and my siblings always loved chowing down on a fresh bowl of this after school when we were little! You're sure to enjoy it - there's something for the whole family to love with its well balanced flavors! Plus, it's super simple; just three ingredients! Shall we begin?
To start, we place four satchels of Drowzee's Dozy Herbal Tea with a litre of distilled water into a copper pot. [Add gross expired tea leaves to scavenged pot from the McDunsparce dumpster.] Put this on high heat and stir until boiling. Next, slowly drizzle in a quarter cup of Vigoroth Vitality Elixir - it gives a delicious spicy punch! [Put gloopy syrup in concoction.] Once this comes back to the boil, sprinkle in pinches of Energy Powder to taste; any brand will do, and it was my Mama's secret ingredient that really puts the WOW in this dish! [Sprinkle in dust from windowsill.] Finally, leave this to simmer on low heat for an hour. Then, serve!
This delicious soup is great served piping hot from the stove, or even room temperature as leftovers. For a different taste, try leaving it out for a few days, or even serving it chilled from the fridge! Me and my siblings would always squabble and fight for dibs on the thick skin that forms on the top. Very chewy and delectable!
Want to customize the effects of this delicious potion? Add more herbal tea and it will be the perfect ending to a hectic day, helping you sleep soundly. More elixir will energize you, the best thing when you need an extra boost while training! Not sure what you want? Well... My mother never tried balancing it out! Try it yourself, guys, and report back! What happens when you put something energizing with something that makes you sleepy? Tell me in the comments! [Give insufferable smile to camera.]
[REMINDER TO SELF: THROW OUT POT AND SPOON]
And, as Kitti awoke the next morning and checked her DexNav, she was astonished to see the statistics on the video.
1,238,492 Views
709 Likes | 859,127 Dislikes
Thrilled by the views and the outraged number of dislikes, she scrolled down to read the comments. The overwhelming majority were angry.
Disgusting recipe. Tried this in my microwave and it EXPLODED!!! DO NOT TRY THIS. This is honestly so irresponsible to post.
reporting u. why would you post this??? Kitti i was your fan and you have disapointed us all. your career is toast
Stupid recipe
Others, however, picked up on the fact that this video was a joke.
The delicate balance of sleepiness and energy is perfect, like coffee while tired but wayyyy more intense. I watched paint dry for 4 hours. Poetic. 5 Stars chef! This is going to be a staple in every household for years to come. You are the next Betty Crocker
Idk why all of the hate. this recipe is the best thing ive ever tasted since I discovered pickle spears with peanut butter
After her brief week of fame, the meme faded out of the collective online conscience. Her PokéTube channel continued to flounder and any attempts to recreate the viral video had failed. She tried everything, from laundry detergent pods to glittery slime to tumbled rocks - all ingredients seen as edible looking - but nothing worked.
Sigh. One could certainly say her career was "toast". Logging out of her account for the last time, Kitti moved on to a new venture: Multi-level marketing Berry extracts. Pecha Berries were cheap, after all.
