[KarKat Vantas ♋]

My life is pain so I made this

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[b]Name:[/b]
[b]Why should I hire this boa?[/b] (boas words/point of view, or you describing why)

Ends the first post of page two; there will be a runner up

[gloomurai]

Name: Hash Slinging Slasher
Why should I hire this boa?
He is an expert in the krabby patty flipping field. I mean- he might eat a few of them- but that's besides the point. Hash would be good being in the kitchen the whole time because he tends to scare off customers at first glance. Also, his tail wields the the Infinity Spatula, which has the ability to put half of all other existing restaurants out of business, meaning the Krusty Krab's business would soar. My question is why wouldn't you hire him?

[petrify]

Name: hash ringing... the slash wringing... singing... yes, the hash slinging slasher
Why should I hire this boa? can fight off nosferatu at night, wip

[Evils]

Name: Haroldetta Ivenhore
Why should I hire this boa?

Uhhh, I'm good at food? I eat vampires for, uh, breakfast. My hand is a spatula so I can scrape pancakes off of ihop ceilings, does that count?? My favorite supply is the microwave and I know how to make flaming cucumbers in it with tinfoil. I, uhh, eat... paper? I can be the trashcan? Please. Hire me, I'm great at scrubbing oozing wals.
My neighbors cat stole my credit card, I neeb the cash please. My nickname in colleg was "floor egg" so you know I can make mad eggs ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[foxico !]

Name:
Reggie

Why should I hire this boa?
Despite his awkward demeanor, Reggie can flip some mad burgers.
When it comes to burger makin' he knows he's the best.
When not at work, he's re-watching every Spongebob episode at
x26 speed, just to cram it all in.

[Tricksters]

ACTUAL SOBBING

Name: krusty
Why should I hire this boa?
hello -insert potential fast food hire here-, my name is krusty e. bark.
i am a professionally trained chef- if we take into account my work in dnd campaigns.
though i dont have the best eyesight i can promise you these things that will be beneficial for you if i am hired:
-i will never lose my most vital equipment: my spatula, as it is now a part of me
-im trained in the art of washing the ceilings during the night shifts
-i come with dual wielding capabilities, without the extra paycheck of hiring two people
-despite my expertise behind the grill i can also run the cash register with a 60 to 40 rate of giving proper change
-if anyone ever tries to pose as a food inspector i will help you dispose of them for taking your free food
-my face is the cutest as my mother always reminds me, so i must be able to attract customers for you
i hope my resume is up to your standards
please hire me
thanks
-krusty e. bark

[mongrel]

name: spatula
why should i hire this boa: “man would you look at this resume! i mean i really excel in uh... i do excel in things! i’ve worked in a... was it mexican...? yeah. a mexican bar-thing. it was called hole in the wall. i’m good at uh... i’m good at making guacamole? and i can clean the gym off of the underside of tables! i have a uH... i have a spatula for a hand so i guess i could learn to use it but i’m really good at scraping the gunk off of the bathroom walls. one time i preformed a surgery on an onion. i don’t remember why, but... i uh... i really need money. i need to feed my cat. please, man, she hasn’t eaten in four days.”

[bakuraas.]

Name: Slinger
Why should I hire this boa?
"Well! You shouldn't. Please don't. I don't want to go back to working.
I'm trying to get my disability check and my mom won't let me try again until
I attempt to get a job. I don't want this job, I just want to go home and make
food for my cats without having a panic attack. If anything, I can get rid of stray
cats in the back and take them to a shelter...but please don't hire me I beg of you.

HIRE MY CAT INSTEAD HE'S REALLY GOOD AT CUSTOMER SERVICE!"

[legolas the elf]

Name: Legolas The Elf
Why should I hire this boa? Nirito chuckled, pushing his glasses further up his nose. "Uh, cause I can sniff out any missing paperwork? Like, that's an ability? I can track anything you as me to! Paperwork, your stolen coffee, boas if I need to." He lets out a small chuckle. "uh - uh - uh I can cook! My tail can mix the uh the best eggs you've ever seen and have you ever needed some, uh, fancy personalized pancakes? I can, like do that! Ooh, you can also hire me because, uh your nice? And I need money? And I can eat the magicians and the, erm, humans for you! Yea! And I can cook them! Too far - alright, I'lll uh stick to my fancy personalied pancakes.

[ethium]

Name: widdleston fad "widdles the doornail"
Why should I hire this boa?
ah! you see sir i've got a great many talents,,
i'm perfect at disappearing when you need me most
i can cook a patty my style, meaning as black as my soul and yours!
i've got so many limbs nobody will know when i steal their check books - for the company of course.
i can stick my paws in hawt grease and make everyone scream.
when my glasses fog up i like to pretend im blind and run into things. - sometimes i'm not pretending but nobody really knows that.
some say i'm as dumb as a doornail, but if you give me an instruction book i'll rip it up and eat it,
because i'm hungry and who ever cared about instructions anyway.
I can also hang from the ceiling lights and scare everyone so they ruin their food.
I can also mingle with the customers, usually they run away screaming but that just makes the game more fun.
i have an award winning smile, everyone says so! momma says when they run away screaming it's because my
pearly whites have blinded them.
my school says im the most popular, when there were parties i got to sit in a room that was just for me.
i can wield a frying pan as well as i can wield my feet, though i can't really wield my feet you don't know that.
I have a talent for sneaking up on you when your in the restroom and whispering in your ear.
People say i make them uncomfortable but momma says that's just my unique personality.