Hold me now I need to feel relief
Like I never wanted anything
I suppose I'll let this go and find a reason I'll hold on to
I'm so ashamed of defeat
And I'm out of reason to believe in me
I'm out of trying to get by
I'm so afraid of the gift you give me
I don't belong here and I'm not well
I'm so ashamed of the lie I'm living
Right on the wrong side of it all
I can't face myself when I wake up
And look inside a mirror
I'm so ashamed of that thing
I suppose I'll let it go
Until I have something more to say for me
I'm so afraid of defeat
And I'm out of reason to believe in me
I'm out of trying to defy
I'm so afraid of the gift you give me
I don't belong here and I'm not well
I'm so ashamed of the lie I'm living
Right on the wrong side of it all
Hold me now I need to feel complete
Like I matter to the one I need
I'm so afraid of the gift you give me
I don't belong here and I'm not well
I'm so ashamed of the lie I'm living
Right on the wrong side of it all
Now I'm ashamed of this
I am so ashamed of this
Now I'm so ashamed of me
I am so ashamed of me...
I thought I had everything straightened out, I already apologized.
I already forgave you, I've done everything I can do without overstepping my bounds.
And honestly, you didn't tell me what I could or couldn't do, so I did light conversation,
or what I thought it was. All I can do now is stand back until you make up your mind.
I'll live either way, I've always made it one way or another. I just hope that when the decision is made,
it's the last one. I don't like the stress this makes for us both. And I hate that I started it, my jealousy
and my foul temper tend to do that. Even when we fight though, I still love you as a sister can,
I want nothing but you to understand, to feel better, to make it in life like I won't be able to.
My genetics won't allow me to live a life. Not a comfortable one anyhow. And I hope that you can get
out of your personal hell. I've always wished that. If I stood under a specific deity, I'd pray for you ever night,
ever day, every time I thought it might help a little. But alas, all I have is me. All I have is you, me, Trin, and my father.
That's a small support circle for someone as me, I standout and rub the wrong way no matter what. And I'm sorry
that it's started to hurt you.