[emberheart.]

im so sorry i really had my heart set on her but my dog died and then i got a full time job and i just dont have time for online anymore

good luck everyone tho, it really sucks to have to drop

[Sheer]

Marking~

[Rivkah]

ｅｎｔｅｒ ｈｅｒｅ

[mi ainsel]

ןןop uǝʞoɹq ɐ s,uɐןɐʞ uǝɥʇ 'ʇǝddnd ɐ s,uɐ!ʌnןǝ ɟ! _____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

ιғ elυvιan'ѕ a pυppeт, тнen ĸalan'ѕ a вroĸen doll

✩ Username:

QuantumNightmare

✩ Name:

Kalan

✩ Meaning of name:


|kah•lan|
Derived from Gaelic Caelan, with the meaning 'slender' or 'fair'.

✩ Reason for name:


First up, the name Kalan only appeared in my head because my computing partner last year had this name and everyone kept spelling it wrong. I've always been a fan of names others are unable to spell since people have always spelt my own name wrong, so I stored it for use on a character.
Secondly, this guy's sister, Eluvian. I'm fairly sure her name is elvish and from Dragon Age since it's the name of those weird magic mirror things? There's no other elvish word that really stands out to me as a name to fit this character, so I went for a more tenuous link. Real world mythology often refers to elves using the very words the name translates to mean - slender and fair.
Finally, as a variant of Caelan, it fits in with his siblings Kieran and Cailan as well, making it perfect for this character idea.

✩ Gender:

Demiboy (he/him & they/them)

(All the flowers in this piece represent something in the language of flowers:
Dried white roses signify 'death before loss of innocence'
Convolvulus major signifies 'dead hope'
Atropa belladonna signifies 'silence'
Syringa signify 'fraternal love'
Windflower signifies 'desertion'
Milkweed signifies 'hope in misery' )

✩ Personality:


| LITERAL | DISCONNECTED | FRIGHTENED | QUIET | CLINGY | OPEN | NERVOUS |
The high-stress family environment he has grown up in has not made life easy for Kalan. Though he tries to comfort himself with the fact it's also made Anora less likely to choose him he is quite well aware that several of his key personality traits are not exactly healthy. Being afraid of your own personality is quite an accomplishment.

Regarding his actual character, Kalan is a very literal-minded Kiamara, often thinking things through in a logical manner without factoring in the emotions of others. Depending on how tired he is he often misses the point of jokes and sarcasm, though he is a master of sarcasm himself as his voice is often completely toneless. He can have some problems with metaphors. Sometimes even he cannot tell he's being sarcastic, which he just finds amusing. He is very blunt and to the point, not liking to waste time on small talk and other useless things, but his anxiety means he often doesn't talk around people anyway so the only people who really see this bluntness are those he already knows well.

The high-stress, high-anxiety life he and Eluvian live has contributed massively towards his personality — he lives in an almost permanently hazy and disconnected manner. This is due to chronic depersonalisation, a symptom of anxiety where individuals feel like they are outside of their body due to the feeling of their body sensations, feelings, emotions and behaviours not belonging to the same person or identity. For Kalan it means he often doesn't feel real, or goes about his life whilst feeling as if in a dream. Combined with his already slipping grasp on reality, these feelings make his anxiety levels skyrocket and he can often be found in tears if he's in one of these states.

He is easily frightened, especially during periods of time where he can't talk. So used to silence, sudden noises scare him pretty much constantly throughout these times and so he tends to squirrel himself away in a quiet corner somewhere. It probably doesn't help that Kalan is afraid of a lot of things without these hypersensitivities.
His paranoia only emphasises these fears and feelings, leaving him in a near-constant state of fear. He gets headaches a lot from the adrenaline rush of the fight or flight response triggering at everything he is scared by, but the pain only negatively reinforces his fear.

Even without his selective mutism, Kalan has always preferred the quiet. He is used to the house being silent with Eluvian's mutism and his mother not being the most loud person in the world. The understanding of authority he learnt from Fantasia and his anxiety most often lead to him being quiet in an attempt to be respectful/forgotten about around others. He doesn't like to speak over people or challenge their opinions most of the time, though if it's something he has a strong viewpoint about you can bet he's dying to jump into the conversation with a vehement 'You're wrong!' It's just his anxious mistrust of strangers that keeps him from doing this.

Those he trusts completely, which really only encompasses Eluvian and to some degree Fantasia, Kalan is never happy to let them get out of his sight. He is exceptionally clingy as he relies on his twin and his mother for pretty much everything, from knowing how to deal with him in a panic attack to subconsciously showing him the correct body language for a situation. His reliance on those he trusts makes him seem quite childlike, but in truth it is mainly due to his anxiety and hatred of change.
With Eluvian he likes to be near her since they have their own nonverbal ways of communicating that the rest of the world don't, and it's really his preferred method of communication.

He is a very honest and open person, even a little naïve though not nearly so much as his twin. He has no problem with lying but often just doesn't see the point of it, making others see him as fairly trustworthy and making any actual lies of his far more influential. Kalan also has the problem that, once he gets to know someone, he can be a little too open and adds a little too much detail to pretty much all of his speech. For example, a conversation about a party may lead to him offering up stories of every party he'd ever been to, not that that number would be high. It leaves him quite vulnerable in that it gives a lot of people personal details about him.

Kalan is a ball of nervous energy, with his anxiety making him carry out unnecessary tasks and worry about little things constantly. That and his paranoia that has him checking things constantly, and it's easy to see that he is constantly overwhelmed. It's probably due to the stress of his family life that he is this way, easily scared and anxious and prone to panic attacks. Everything just ends up stacked though, with his paranoia causing him anxiety and his anxiety making him selectively mute and everything together making him overwhelmed. He's got a lot on his shoulders and it's really rather impressive that he's forging onwards like it. Kalan would never let these feeling defeat him, but also considers them an intrinsic part of himself that he's not sure if he wants to change.


✩ Likes:

Stars
Perhaps fittingly considering his sky-like design and the people such as Zaira in his life, Kalan has always been entranced by the night sky. He loves to study and learn about them, these tiny pinpricks of life that could be sustaining life in some far off corner of the universe. Perhaps his love of the stars comes from his desire to be far away from all of the drama and responsibilities involved in his life, to live in a completely different solar system so they could never find him. It's definitely fuelled by some kind of desperate wish to escape Anora's family.

Silence
Silence is peaceful and doesn't judge. It does not cause conflict, or stress, or try to manipulate you. It reminds him of Eluvian, and time spent at Tranquility far from the usual tension in his life. Silence is safe, to Kalan. That is why, when he is overwhelmed and he loses the ability to talk like a switch being turned off, he actually feels safer. Perhaps, if he was not already so easily frustrated over miscommunications and other people's less-literal thinking, he would do as his twin does and simply stop talking for good. As it stands, his beloved silence is not something that comes easily to Kalan.

Animals
It's pretty clear why Kalan likes animals more than most people, and those reasons can be easily summed up in the phrase 'vicarious freedom'. Animals don't have complex family situations or crushing responsibilities or too many rules. They have simpler lives and far simpler relationships, and he envies them for that.
Mostly he is just glad he knows he can trust animals. He always knows where he stands with them, there are no worries of manipulative words or actions, just love.

Dreams
His phobia of nightmares may lead many to believe that he is not overly fond of dreams in general, but that assumption would be entirely incorrect. Kalan is actually extremely fond of the freedom dreams provide, and the imaginative scenarios they involve. It is when dreams are just twisted reality that they cause him problems. explanation

✩ Dislikes:

Flowers
Flowers make Kalan think of Anora and her permanent flower crown, in his mind the least suitable accessory for her personality possible. Now he thinks of flowers as symbolic of lies, bright colours and sweet scents hiding nothing but hollow disappointment. As such, he has no time for the idea of flowers being romantic. However, he is intently interested in the language of flowers, particularly those with negative meanings, as he is particularly paranoid that there are messages to him in the flowers he encounters.

Rushing
Situations with limited time frames frustrate Kalan and his anxiety-fuelled drive to always be a perfectionist. In fact, there are very few situations that can, without a doubt, every time, cause such a heightening in his anxiety levels over a short space of time. He can't think, he often loses the ability to talk and he becomes extremely distressed. Add rules into the mix and you've got yourself a full scale breakdown.

Niceties
Kalan is a very literal-minded, say-what-you-think kinda Kia. His anxiety already has him overly conscious of trying to fit into most rules despite his hatred of them and so the presence of unwritten and in his mind completely useless extra rules for social situations is infuriating to him. Because of this he can often come across as as rude, something he also dislikes as it makes him even more anxious that people are judging him.

Superstition
Kalan is not one to hold much stock in things such as fate. Even if he did, he has come to believe that even if such a thing did exist, it cannot be bothered with his family. He dismisses superstitions as unjustified and mainly driven by fear; often causing nothing but fear as well. Those who believe in such things are quickly judged in his eyes. For one who is so frightened of his own imaginings, it's a strange view.

✩ Fears:

Anora
Kalan is absolutely terrified of his mother Anora. Though they have not met face to face many times the things Fantasia told him in order to keep him away as a young child have stuck with him all this time and left him with a rather childish phobia. It's probably more the responsibility she offers that scares him - his only experience with power like that has corrupted those around him and ruined their lives.

Responsibilities
Absolute power may corrupt absolutely, but Kalan would not even risk being responsible for a pet rock due to the lurking fear that any form of responsibility or power would make him end up like Anora or Thane. It's a rather crippling fear that leaves him entirely reliant on the very few (read: Eluvian) people he trusts, though he hates himself for putting his own responsibilities on their shoulders.

Nightmares
His one major phobia is of nightmares. Not simply because they are frightening but because, with his psychosis, he is never entirely sure what is reality and what is not. With some dreams this is bad enough, but with frightening nightmares this is downright traumatising. His phobia often keeps them up, afraid to sleep.

✩ Quirks:

Paranoia
Kalan is prone to extreme paranoia, often becoming convinced he is being watched or that people are talking about him behind his back even when he is alone. He is also very pernickety about details — he is constantly afraid of mistaking reality with delusions, and so can be very paranoid about these little details in the hopes of confirming reality.

Selective mutism
Like his twin Eluvian and her elective mutism; unwillingness to speak due to psychological causes, Kalan has something a little similar known as Selective mutism; a severe anxiety-based situational inability to talk. With this, his inability to speak is not due to his choosing, and is triggered by heightened emotional stress — feeling like words simply cannot leave his throat. It can last from a few seconds to a matter of hours, and Kalan is mostly unbothered by it as he prefers the silence, being used to it from his sister. That being said, he hates that people often misunderstand him during these periods of not talking and so is often relieved when he regains the ability to talk.

Vocal stims
Sometimes Kalan likes to use repetitive noises rather than words to express his feelings. His favourites are vaguely avian-sounding high-pitched trilling noises that he makes when he's happy or curious. At times when he is unable to speak he can easily get across his intentions with these noises, and the repetitive noises are soothing to him.

✩ About:


Kalan has a fairly mild form of psychosis in which he is frequently unable to distinguish between reality and his own imagination. This can be extremely distressing for him and led to his intense fear of nightmares. He has only ever told his closest friend; his sister Eluvian, and so often refuses to leave her side in fear of having a panic attack somewhere where the surrounding Kias don't know how to help.

✩ Secrets?:


An intense fear of nightmares leads him to keep hundreds of dream catchers in their place. Eluvian once told him that they kept nightmares away, and despite his intense hatred of all things superstitious, he always took her at her word. His phobia of nightmares and more specifically losing grip on reality soon overwhelmed any scepticism on the helpfulness of the pretty dreamcatchers. His sister was more than happy to continue buying him more as gifts, and so his collection has only grown over time. It became an obsession extremely quickly, with every possible place in their room soon home to one of his many dreamcatchers. No-one except his sister is aware of this collection.

✩ History:


Child
Kalan's childhood was, for the first part, rather uneventful. He spent most of his time indoors with his twin Eluvian, with Fantasia usually at work for large parts of the day. They lived a rather frugal lifestyle, never really having the funds to do what they wanted but somehow still managing anyway. Their mother was hardworking and always fighting to give them better chances in life, something they didn't understand at the time, just knowing she wasn't always around when they wanted her to be, but would be truly grateful for when they were older.
When Fantasia was around Kalan spent a lot of time around her, trying to gain her favour. She was strict most of the time and could scare him at others, but she truly cared and it was entirely apparent when the twins spent time with her.
During the times Fantasia was at work the twins simply further reinforced their already strong bond. Even with Kieran or Cailan babysitting them whilst their mother was out they preferred to spend time in their own company and were always getting up to mischief. Of course, they noticed the strange things that seemed to flock to their family; the way Cailan and Kieran seemed slightly uncomfortable around them, sneaking nervous glances at Eluvian behind her back; how Kieran took the flowers out of his hair when Fantasia came home; the pictures face down in their mother's room and the fact no-one had ever mentioned another parent. They hadn't even known of the older twins until Fantasia introduced them as their new babysitters.
Even the children could see the tension in the air around them, and it was only set to grow.

As the twins grew older, there was one night where the family dynamic was changed. Plans were set in motion, and though they would likely forget the events of the night, the events would certainly not forget them.
Kieran was watching them alone tonight, though 'babysitting' duties had really got to a point where he just had to be in the house to make sure they didn't run off or set fire to it or something. It no longer required both of the older siblings, so Kieran had volunteered since he genuinely enjoyed spending time with his little siblings.
Kalan and Eluvian were trying to get Kieran to take them to the shop to buy sweet when the sound of a mobile ringing split the comfortable silence between the three.
Fishing it out of his pocket, the older boy doesn't even have to glance at the screen to know who's calling.
"Oh, hey sis," Kieran says casually, holding the phone out of the reach of the curious Eluvian. "Yeah, of course I'm still with the twins. I'm staying at mum's tonight, you know that."
Even as young as he is and more interested in the prospect of sweets than mysterious phone calls, Kalan can hear the sudden change in his older brother's voice at something said over the phone, and its urgency is made even more evident as he turns to face the twins and shepherds them into their bedroom before shutting the door with all three of them inside.
"What do you mean, she's coming here? Tonight? To see the twins?" It's clearly an affirmation, since Kieran snaps a quick goodbye before ending the call and kneeling down in front of Eluvian and Kalan.
"Hey, you listen, alright? You should stay away from the purple flower lady."
A purple flower lady? Kalan's burgundy eyes widen at the thought, confused by the mention of this stranger. Eluvian simply cocks her head and mouths 'why'?
Kieran ruffles her spiky hair affectionately and speaks in an exaggerated whisper.
"She's really mean! She's an evil magic lady — she can make you feel like the most amazing person alive or the lowest of the low, but she's really just trying to make mummy sad, remember that." He had barely finished his warning when the door opens downstairs and Kalan rushes past him, headed for the stairs.
Kieran grabs his little brother's shirt collar and pulls him back from the edge of the staircase, crouching to make sure they're not seen.

Fantasia has re-entered the house in a state of disarray and looks furious. She tries to slam the door shut behind her, but another woman pushes her way in anyway, staring her down with a disdainful expression. Kalan feels Kieran tense beside him and can only guess this is the purple flower lady by her colourful pelt and the elaborate flower crown in her hair. Mostly he is aware of how much her hair colour matches his own.
Below them, Fantasia's teeth are gritted with fury and she manages to hiss out words through the smothering tension between her and the other woman. "Get. Out. Of my house."
"I want to see my children. You can't stop me." The purple lady's voice is smooth and deceptively calm. Kalan would be reminded of a snake if he wasn't too busy fixating on the stranger's words.
No, his second mother's words.
"I won't let you get them involved in your twisted heir games!—"
Fantasia is abruptly cut off as Eluvian runs down the stairs, past Kieran before he can stop her, clearly unsettled by the stranger in the house.
She stops suddenly, looking between the two women and clearly drawing her own parallels between their looks, then tilts her head and mouths 'who?'

Seeing as the situation is already bad enough, Kieran comes downstairs with Kalan close behind, though the younger is easily able to pick up how tense the other is feeling. The purple lady simply acts as though he isn't there, focusing her strangely stilted smile on the two silent twins.
"Hello there. My name is Anora. I'm your mother, and I've brought you some gifts."

Teenager
The teen years were probably the hardest for the twins. Though their first meeting with Anora had pretty much faded from their memories the strange and direct woman had certainly not given up on 'getting to know them', and had a habit of turning up unannounced and demanding to see the twins, something Fantasia was furious about but had no power to stop her. Her powerlessness was clearly eating away at her because she was snapping at the twins more and more often.
The tension in the little house only grew, and with it Kalan's emerging anxiety.

Still in the dark about the reasons for the tension between his mother and Anora, the unexplainable stress he was experiencing was clearly having a negative effect on Kalan. Eluvian didn't speak any more and he often lost the ability when the stress became too much. With the unknown dark cloud hanging over the family, it was only ever going to be a matter of time before Kalan demanded to know what was going on.
It was when Fantasia was working and one of the older twins was looking after them that he finally asked.
If Kieran had been there he would have vaguely explained the rough shape of events and changed the subject. Fiery-spirited Cailan, whose catty comments about Eluvian had made Kalan vaguely uncomfortable in her presence for the last few weeks, simply grabbed their arms and led him out of the house.

When they stopped walking, the three stood before a fancy-looking club with a large neon sign that simply read 'Tranquility'.
They were greeted by a beautiful woman with a crown of flowers much like Anora and a striking familiar resemblance. She looked surprised to see the group, and almost seemed to wince at the sight of Kalan. He would later learn this was due to his resemblance to Fantasia, who she was not on the best of terms with.
He could have sworn he'd seen the woman before, in a photo with Fantasia.
Cailan smiled at the woman and gestured the twins forward.
"Zaira, this is Eluvian and Kalan. Twins, this is your Aunt Zaira. I thought it was about time you met."
Zaira had a kind face and a sweet smile. She was gorgeous and seemed entirely comfortable in the bustling environment of the club. It seemed unreal to Kalan that he could possibly be related to this woman, who he'd never seen past the occasional photo. Then again, Anora had just turned up one day.
"Adaline! Is anyone in the back room?"
"Nah, it's clear!" A loud girl's voice yelled back over the music from the main room of the club.
Zaira led the group through to one of the rooms not currently in use and sat down in an elegant-looking chair with a sigh.
"Should have guessed you'd come to me. I'm the only one whose talk doesn't get back to the manor family... Or their mother."
Cailan grinned, though her eyes betrayed the anger not clearly shown her on her face. "They have a right to know about their own family. She's buying them gifts, trying to win them over. They have no idea what she's capable of, what she's willing to do!"
Zaira nodded serenely, turning to face the confused twins.
"You need to know that this family is... rather dysfunctional."
She explained everything. The manor family, the search for an heir. The burning of Tranquility. Thane and his plans. The family that the twins had never known of, and the events that had split them apart.

When they got home again Kalan was so unsettled by the encounter he locked himself in the bathroom to try and calm down, tripping over several times in his haste to flee. He didn't hear Fantasia confronting Cailan over why she'd felt the need to let them known and Cailan's snarled response. Instead he threw open the doors of the mirrored cabinet over the sink and scattered bottles and soap everywhere as he desperately searched for the box he knew must be in there.
Finally uncovering what he was searching for, he triumphantly pulled a box of red hair dye free and proceeded to attempt to dye his hair.
The shower made the red dye run from his hair and swirl down the drain like blood.
Of course, his inky hair was far too dark for the dye to change. His purple hair had stayed purple. When he looked up it was Anora that stared back from the mirror.
Kalan screamed and threw himself backwards. By the time Eluvian came to find him he was hysterical, and his silent twin simply stood in the doorway, bewildered and unsure of what to do. She disappeared and came back with their mother behind her. Fantasia looked like she'd been upset, but she composed herself at the sight of her crying child.
Kalan looked up at his mother through his tears and managed to whisper. "I just don't want to be like her."
Fantasia could guess what had happened from the discarded box on the floor. She smiled softly at him, moved by his loyalty to her, and ruffled his still-wet hair. "You could never become someone like her. There's no need to change yourself."

Adult
As they approached adulthood, Anora's 'drop-in visits' became more and more frequent. She sends them gifts to win their favour, bunches of flowers appearing on their doorstep overnight. She brings elaborate jewellery for Eluvian and expensive trinkets for Kalan.
With Anora's continued presence, Fantasia's mood turns more and more frenzied, her slipping control over their lives tightening in a final, helpless attempt to keep them away from her. Fantasia seems sadder than ever lately. She gives them both a gift of her own, having saved up for months, nothing nearly as flashy as Anora's but far more personal. For Kalan there is a long red scarf made of soft wool, and for Eluvian a simple pendant made of a shaped piece of mirror. Kalan treasures his scarf more than anything else he owns and is delighted by the joy on his mother's face when she sees them both wearing her gifts at breakfast.
It's obvious to everyone by now that Anora has her eye on Eluvian, and Kalan is even more stressed because of this. Even now he knows and acknowledges Anora's true nature it hurts in some misguided way to be passed over like he doesn't exist. Mostly, however, he's afraid for his naive and innocent twin. Eluvian means everything to him, and the thought of her becoming like Anora, or worse, like Thane after Anora raised him, is terrifying to him.

Around this time he takes to spending more time at Tranquillity and around Zaira, though he tries his best to avoid Adaline as she is far too much of a gossip for a family with as many secrets as his. He likes to talk about stories from Zaira's past, when she was still friends with Fantasia. There's a part of him that secretly hopes he can repair their shattered friendship through careful third party interference, though in truth it is probably far too damaged for him to successfully manage this.
It's one of these nights at the club when he thinks he sees a glimpse of purple out the window, and being the curious person he is, leaves Tranquility to go check it out.
Standing just out of sight of the door is Anora, looking just as reserved and powerful as she always does despite currently standing in a car park and not a manor. It must be a rich person skill, he supposes.
"Hello there, Kalan." Her voice is silky smooth, like melted chocolate. It's only his knowledge of her past actions that keeps him from being drawn into her sweet facade.
"... Um. H-Hello, Anora." He manages to get out, despite feeling the panic rising in his chest.
"You could at call me mother. I am, after all." She replies with a slight smile, studying him intently through pale eyes. It feels like he is being scrutinised by a predator.
Desperate to get this situation over with before he loses the ability to speak, Kalan finds himself blurting out "Why are you here?!" without answering her.
Her smile falters for a second, betraying its falseness before it is back like it had never slipped. "I wanted to see you. You're never around when I come to see you and your sister."
The thought of him having these manipulative secret meetings with Eluvian is terrifying, and the familiar panic rushes over him like breaking wave. His voice is barely more than a whisper by the time he manages to muster up words to response, though he would rather run and hide somewhere far from here, certainly somewhere far from Anora. But Tranquility had been his safe place?!
"I don't want to see you. Stay away from us."
The sound of running footsteps and the door is thrown open. Adaline must have seen him leave and told her mother, for Zaira is standing in the doorway with an expression like thunder.
"Kalan." She says levelly, gaze fixed on Anora. "Is she bothering you?"
He nodded quickly, moving towards Tranquility and away from Anora, who watches him leave with that same scrutinising look.
"Stay away from them. I've told you, you're not allowed here." Zaira growls, and slams the door behind them.
Anora simply raises an eyebrow and walks away.


✩ Build:


He's a little below average height, standing around 5' 5 1/2", and painfully skinny, with little to no muscle tone at all. He is also entirely androgynous in figure.

✩ Voice:


Kalan's voice is very soft and quiet, rarely rising above a whisper even when angry. It has a silvery tone to it, very melodic, and is highly expressive. It's for this reason alone that people assume him to be such an honest person, because surely his voice would give him away as a bad liar.

✩ Hair colour:


Kalan's hair is an inky purple, almost the same shade as his mother Anora. He hates it for this reason alone - it's too easy to mistakenly see her in the mirror.

✩ Hairstyle:


His hair is too long and heavy to really have much of a style — it's more of a messy bedhead that he doesn't do much with. It's shoulder length and slightly wavy, though the wave is hard to see, and he keeps it in a messy bun so it's not in his way.

✩ Eye colour:


His eyes are a deep red-brown, almost burgundy in some lighting, making them a very difficult colour to describe. They much resemble Fantasia's.

✩ Style:


He has a rather strange way of choosing his clothes in that Kalan will only wear things he thinks he can run in, so trousers and leggings and nothing he'd trip over. He likes flowing, pastel clothing and the slightly feminine aura it gives him.

✩ Accessories:


Accessory-wise, he is fond of long scarves. They allow him to hide his face when he feels overwhelmed, as he frequently does, and also provide a sense of security with their softness and constriction. When he's nervous he has a habit of tugging on the end of his scarves.

✩ Birthday:


Kalan's birthday is the 1st of August, 1996.

✩ Age:

He is currently 18 years old.

✩ Zodiac:


As a child born on August 1st, Kalan's starsign is Leo, the lion — 5th sign of the zodiac. Superstitious beliefs suggest Leos to be creative, generous, stubborn, inflexible and warm-hearted.

✩ Chinese zodiac:


Kalan was born in the year of the Fire Rat. Rats of the Fire characteristic are said to be dynamic, idealistic, and open; yet lacking in a sense of diplomacy and may be too blunt for their own good. They are associated with the element Water.

✩ Sexuality:


Kalan defines himself as Demi-Pansexual. Demisexuality is an orientation on the asexual spectrum where a person only feels sexual attraction after a strong emotional bond has already been formed, but because he is also Pansexual he could be attracted to that person regardless of gender.

✩ Fantasia:


She may be strict and almost draconian in her approach to raising children, but Kalan feels safe around Fantasia and her overprotective ways. She is even, perhaps, to be considered the only reason he can feel safe when Anora sometimes tries to visit.
That is not to say they have a conventional loving relationship. Kalan still fears Fantasia in a much smaller way, but he is also deeply loyal to her as he considers her a guardian, and not just in a legal manner. She is he and Eluvian's defender against the world, something he is very grateful for.
He doesn't always agree with his mother though, and though he does take her wishes regarding Anora to heart there is always going to be both a part of him that wants to rebel against strict rules and the far more prevalent part that quashes such thoughts behind a curtain of mild fear. If he was entirely sure of how you go about loving people Kalan would class her as a loved one, but not as close as she probably should be.
It's hard to feel loved by someone as strict as Fantasia though. Deep down, he knows everything she does is done to protect them but sometimes it's hard to see that through the misguided sense of loneliness. It's why Eluvian is his closest confidant rather than his mother.
Their relationship is a strange and rather awkward, stunted one, but they are both trying, at least in their own ways.

✩ Anora:


For a long time now, Kalan has considered Anora — for he refuses to call her mother just as Fantasia wishes him to — the very personification of fear. He tries to avoid her on the rare and rather terrifying occasions she tries to visit. Flowers and the scent of floral shampoo have never been quite as scary to anyone as they are to Kalan, for they mean Anora is nearby, like the world's most unassuming warning sign.
His feelings towards her are mostly based on the stories he's gathered from various family members, and Fantasia herself, about the events of the past so it could be that he was always going to be predisposed to not get on with her, but even his observations of the way she acts around them unsettle him. She's attempted to get him on side with gifts and honeyed words, but his nervous disposition and low self-esteem for once aid him in being able to see straight through her.
She's too... superficially nice, but he can see her curt business attitude lying just beneath her skin. She is like a predator, a cat stalking a bird, playing with its prey before it goes in for the kill. Since she tries to focus her (mostly unsuccessfully thanks to Fantasia) efforts on Eluvian, Kalan is able to see the strings of her manipulation, and they scare him.
To be honest, he is mostly afraid of a day she considers him a possible heir and turns the manipulative charm on him. He fears her trap is not quite as visible or escapable for those already caught in it.

✩ Eluvian:


His sister Eluvian means everything to Kalan, but he is also deeply afraid for her. In some way he has reason to- even if his particular fears are driven by the obvious interest Anora has shown in his sibling for the role of heir- he's seen the way Fantasia shadows his naïve and submissive sister like a bodyguard and so determined she is one of the top candidates for the powerful position of heir. He's heard the stories of what others like Thane have done to try and achieve this lofty position and fears he will lose his twin and closest friend, either through the actions of another or the corruption Anora's money brings with it. He almost wishes he could become the heir apparent instead, despite his deep-rooted phobia of the position, just to save her from it.

In their everyday life, Eluvian is the closest member of his family to him, a confidant he knows he can trust completely. As such, he is very clingy around her and doesn't like to be far from her at any time - something only exacerbated by the fact she is the only one he has told of his anxiety attacks and psychoses and so the only one who knows what to do in those situations. Others have often commented on their ability to almost talk without words, taking the usual 'twin telepathy' to a new level considering both of them are prone to selective mutism.

✩ Kieran:


Kieran, Cailan's twin, is a drastic countermeasure to his fiery sister. Kalan holds great respect for the milder of the older twins and the way he has just moved on with his life without further thought to the family heir crisis. Part of him wishes he could simply do the same but he would not leave Fantasia and Eluvian even if the chance was offered. In truth, he sees the perfect version of himself in Kieran and hopes he can somehow learn to be a better person from him. It's a rather unhealthy level of idol worship, that Kalan would be willing to give up everything that makes him who he is just so he could be like Kieran, but it speaks volumes for his self-confidence
Rational thought would make him angry at his older brother for his refusal of the heir title despite the fact he is probably the most stable of them all. If anyone could take the responsibility and not drastically change it'd probably be Kieran. Kalan's not exactly good at the whole rational thought business though, and he would not wish the title on anyone, regardless of their stability of mental state. Any anger he does harbour over this is very well hidden, or perhaps simply repressed as are most of his emotions around others.

✩ Cailan:


He'd be much more fond of her strong minded attitude to Anora if she wasn't so rude to his twin. As it is, Kalan wishes he had the strength to act like fiery, spirited Cailan - the constantly burning embers of her anger fuelling her resolve to spite Anora no matter what. That's not to say he thinks it's an entirely healthy mindset - even he can see that her anger has twisted his older sister.
Despite his misguided admiration of her, Kalan's overall feelings towards Cailan are slanted towards the negative. She is loud and can be venomous, often saying cruel things to Eluvian since the younger is thought of as the more desirable heir. Even the nicest person in the world would be thought badly of by Kalan if they were unnecessarily cruel to his twin, and Cailan is certainly not a saint.
Mostly he tries to stay out of her way, mildly concerned she will turn on him if she determines him to be a threat to her spite-driven push to be heir. For the moment she seems to ignore the fact he exists when they meet, and that suits him just fine.

✩ Thane:


If Anora is terrifying then Thane is true evil. It is as if he is the personal bogeyman of their family - a looming shadow that still hangs over their heads despite his arrest. To think that Anora's heir plan could lead to Thane's familial murder attempts is a truly frightening thought for Kalan, reinforcing his fear of both Anora and the heir responsibilities. Like Fantasia, Kalan doesn't think of him as his brother and refuses to hear him being spoken of, but his reasons tend to be more based on terror and paranoia than the shame he brought to their family. He doesn't truly know much of him but he would rather not have known of his existence in the first place so actively avoids finding out anymore, regardless of whether or not it would help him should Thane ever be released and come for them again.

✩ Zaira:


As someone with an interest in space, Kalan is intrigued by Zaira and her 'sparkly powers'. But knowing Zaira doesn't entirely forgive Fantasia for the events of the past, there's always going to be that slight awkwardness between them, even if the conflict is technically non-existent now. He may like Zaira's friendliness but ultimately Kalan is more loyal to Fantasia and is constantly worried he will somehow offend the other simply by being around one of them.
When his mother is not around them Kalan is his usual quiet and curious self with her. It took him a while to warm up to Zaira given the family history and his misplaced secondhand awkwardness over Fantasia's actions, but she seems nice enough and he's always learning new things around her. Tranquility really lives up to it's name for him and he likes to go there to calm down, nearly always ending up asleep in the staff only areas. Despite his love of the place he doesn't want to work there as it would feel like settling rather than finding his actual place in life - if he's allowed to find it.

✩ Adaline:


Adaline is far, far too loud for Kalan's liking. It's like being around a boisterous toddler. She's far too brash, too much of a gossip and is just generally alarming for the much quieter Kalan, who'd rather fade into the background. Her clumsy demeanour is about as far as possible from his own overly cautious self and so he finds it genuinely uncomfortable to be around her too much. It's not to say he dislikes her, more that she's a little overwhelming and he finds her presence rather disorientating. He tries to keep on her good side so as to not alienate Zaira, though his literal mind and general awkwardness probably makes his true feelings pretty clear.

✩ Theme song(s):


Mountains — Message To Bears (Life Is Strange OST)


And we could run away
Before the light of day
You know we always could
The mountains say, the mountains say


Without You — Detective Orange ft. Q'AILA


Even though that I hurt by now
Day to day don't know what to do (hold on)
Don't know how my future will turn out
But I'm damn sure it's without you


ECHO — Gumi


The clock stopped ticking forever ago
How long have I been up? I don't know :-(
I can't get a grip, but I can't let go
There wasn't anything to hold onto, though



✩ Final notes:


First up, I'd like to thank you for holding these awesome free adoptions! I absolutely adore long writing competitions because in my opinion it's the most effective and immersive way to develop a character, and it's not so easy to find that spark that helps develop characters now they're mostly auctions. Your character stories are truly intriguing with the ways they intertwine and affect each other, and it would be really cool to be a part of one of the ongoing story threads. Even if not I look forward to seeing how Fantasia and Anora, Zaira, Kieran, Cailan, Thane, Eluvian and this babe's story goes from here — you've got me intrigued now! I feel like I'm waiting for the next book in a series!
I've had a lot of fun developing Kalan through my form and art, and I hope the character that presented itself to me so clearly shines through with even a fraction of the intensity it did to me.

I obviously want to specify I write about Kalan's psychosis from the point of view of someone who's dealt with it in the past. The same point stands for his anxiety and the more subtle things I was hinting at. To be honest, in the beginning I was going to make these traits subtle and less of a thing, but as I continued writing the character that became real in my mind became less of a stressed childish Kia with a few stereotypical traits to keep it kind of relatable and from being too obvious. Boring idea anyway. By the middle of the form Kalan had progressed to being written solely as an extremely anxious autistic person, with that character being drawn from my experience and that of others I know in the community... as an anxious autistic person myself. While several of his traits are clearly due to this and not common to neurotypical others in the same situation I also tried to keep a balance with traits that are solely due to his environment. Clearly I mean no offence, since I'd be offending myself and that would be stupid.

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All art in form by me | Font from Veer.com

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[Frost★]

Mark

[jayus]

Username: pipsqueak99
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hhh reserve ;v;

[Lirrie]

wip

[eli ayase]

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Reserve with the name Makala

[img]-insertnameheaderhere-[/img]

"ᴍᴀᴋᴀʟᴀ"

Username: Hello, i'm gallows callibrator o v o
I own Gianna, Sadie, Corinne, Toketsu, Hikaru, and Valfre. I do plan on adding
more kiamaras to my beautiful family. I hope you enjoy my form!! Introducing,
Makala.

[img]-insertimage-[/img]

Name:
Her name is Makala, which doesn't have much of a meaning, but her nickname 'Makaa' does. Makaa means 'to draw
with charcoal' in swahili, one of africa's many native laguages. I picked the name Makala because it seems feminine
and yet, not girly. Its a strong name for a strong kiamara, one who faces many challenges in her life.


Gender:
Makala is a female, and uses she/her pronouns. She's cisgender.

[img]-insertimagehere-[/img]

Personality: WIP

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History:
As a child, Makala was raised to be independent and tough. She was not to cry for her mother. She was to learn respect and was told that she would never be an equal until she was an adult. Although Makala had dreams, Fantasia told her daughter that dreams were petty and do not exist. They will never come true. Fantasy was for the weak-minded. Makala tried to understand this, but when she was alone, she decided she was safe enough to fantasize her heart out. Whenever she was around Fantasia, she didn't even think about dreaming, for she was afraid that somehow her mother would find out and torment her. She was very afraid of her mother, but as far as she knew, she was the only parental figure she had.

As a teenager,

[peppermintleo]

Username: Kleptomaniac-Bubble
Name: Reva
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[Froas]

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this bab is gorgeous ;w; will definitely be trying out for them