I'm trying out for Kiamara #1.
username: Curious, a non-owner. c:
name: Ailith, meaning "noble battle." I thought that name would suit her because of her constantly conflicting emotions and efforts to stay calm.
gender: If I were to win this awesome Kiamara, I would make it a female.
personality: Ailith is convinced that she needs help. Violent thoughts haunt her dreams and her reality. Every time she falls asleep, or something mildly dramatic happens, Ailith is sucked into the vortex called depression. However, the reason is unclear why she’s so miserable so often, probably because of the trauma of being split from a large life form to wake up as something else. She just wishes to be a normal Kiamara, with everyday problems and a cheerful demeanor and ignores the fact that that’s not how it works.
When upset, Ailith acts on impulse. If she suddenly feels a bout of fear looming over her, she might just grab you and hug you. If she’s overtaken with sadness, she won’t have the pride to hold in her hysterical tears. If butterflies take flight in her stomach with nervousness, Ailith will either try and throw up, or just run away.
A couple of Ailith’s best qualities are her boldness and persistence. She is not afraid to open up and scream her opinion to the world, and won’t hesitate to compliment you on your awesome hairstyle, even if you’re her worst enemy. When Ailith sets her heart on something, she won’t let go. It’s as if she’s a rocket, locked on target, and will explode with ecstasy once she reaches her destination or goal.
Ailith is usually slightly distrusting, but if you prove to her that you want to be her friend and that you won’t hurt her, she’ll immediately accept the gesture of kindness. Ailith is very loyal, and will stay by your side no matter what, if you manage to develop a close relationship.
The best way to make Ailith a friend is to be there when she needs you. To be a shoulder to cry on, a teddy bear to hug. If she goes through a fit of distress with you and you’re there to console her, Ailith will always be grateful for your company, especially in the hard times. It’s hard to tolerate this girl, though, because of her snappy attitude when she’s angry.
Over all, Ailith is flawed, and she knows it. She considers herself a burden to others, but doesn’t have the heart to stop herself from bursting into tears at the worst times. When you take the time to get to know her, however…she can be a loyal friend and an appreciative ally. (Word count: 398)
story: I see nothing. I reach out to touch the air, but I feel no disturbance of air around my paw. What is this place? Is this a place at all? I sit there. There is something solid beneath my paws, something smooth, but I don’t think it’s the ground.
I realize my eyes are closed, and I open them, to see a light. It glitters over me like a cold, white sun. I shield my eyes with my paw, squinting up at it, straining to see what it is. There is something there, that light. What is it? It’s so bright, so bright that it encloses everything around me, absorbs time itself like an overwhelming vapor.
What is happening now? There is crushing emptiness around me, causing my breath to be short and quick. I collapse, straining to breathe, and hold a paw to my chest, gripping my skin tightly with my claws. I feel something wet sliding down my fur where I had scratched myself and realize I’m bleeding with a start. For some reason, however, it doesn’t seem to hurt at all.
When will this end? When will this stop? It’s tormenting. Surrounded by blankness, I feel as if I lost something, something vital for my survival. Something I dearly value. But what is it? I have nothing. I’ve never had anything…anything in life to live for…so why do I feel this way?
There is nothing here now except for the blinding light all around me, it no longer seems to float, but seems to touch me, envelop me. It’s too overwhelming, I can’t take it, barely resisting the urge to scream. What is going on? Have I done something to deserve this? Am I…dead? My hair flows around me as if I’m underwater.
My eyes begin to tear up as a sudden burst of wind crashes around me and lifts me off of the solid space beneath my paws. It slides down my throat as a deep breath and I allow the cold air to stretch my lungs. I do not breathe out again, unable to squeeze that hurricane back out of myself. My arms fly out, and I float there, weightless, spread eagled. It is beautiful yet horrifying.
Refreshing and calming. Comforting and thrilling. These words come to mind as the wind rushes through my ears. Images float through my mind, memories. The sound of joyful laughter and desperate crying. I feel things. The feeling of an ice pack being pressed against my sweaty forehead and a paw rubbing my arm comfortingly.
My heart pumps wildly, beating against my chest like someone punching me in the ribs. Breathe! A voice says. Breathe and you will wake! Remember what you live for!
As I breathe in, feel my heart steady, and I realize…family…that is it. That is the thing I value and need to possess. How could I forget my family? What have I done? Where are they? Where am I? I must find them.
I must find my brothers and sisters. They are waiting for me, I know it. I cry out in a gasp-like sob, tears streaming from my face. The tears fall down into nothingness below me. I wish to follow them…maybe I will find something other than this horrible light…
The wind becomes gentle, and I feel myself falling down as if in slow motion. I am not afraid. I’m going to see them. My fur flies out in all directions and I peacefully close my eyes…
To open them. Open them to a bright light. But it isn’t that cold light anymore…not the unforgiving, compacted light squeezing my body. It’s sunlight.
Sitting up, I rub my forehead with a paw, sighing with relief. I blink several times to clear my fuzzy vision, my eyelashes fluttering as I shake my head, trying to remember the dream I just had. All I can remember…
Is nothing. (Word count: 652)
family . relationships: Ailith has complicated relationships with her siblings. Usually she gets along with them pretty well. She scorns the fact that they were once one creature, and feels as though it’s much better now that they’re free. Ailith is determined to get along with her family as well as possible, and become closer than they were all those years ago. She knows they may be separated now physically, but she truly wants to be emotionally close. And the reason why is because she loves them.
They’re her only friends at this point in her life and she knows she needs them. The one thing Ailith values most is her family, and she doesn’t want to lose them. Her siblings mean everything to her.
Ailith knows that since she was once just one part of that huge creature, she wants to fit in with her friends the way she used to. She tries to act as though they had always been separate Kiamaras. Ailith isn’t sure whether she’s doing a good job being a sister or not, due to frequent petty arguments, but always tries her best to keep her temper in check and stay calm with them.
Although Ailith can be frustrating at times, and a bit high-maintenance, her brothers and sisters have learned to value this girl’s affection. She’s loyal and loving when you treat her with respect, and will always be there to stand up for you. Despite Ailith’s stubbornness and attitude, she’s been trying to make a habit of facing her own mistakes and accepting the truth of the matter, whatever the case.
One rift between her and the rest of her siblings is her demand for respect and freedom. She doesn’t like her family hanging on to her, but she definitely wants to be treated like an equal. Ailith is a strong believer of equality in all life-forms, and hates it when she sees others being treated badly because they were born a certain way. That’s why she returns the favor of acting kindly to her brothers and sisters whenever they do the same.
Ailith has grown to think of Talonzi and Meili as parents. Or at least relatives. She doesn’t see them often and she definitely isn’t close to them, but she always considers them her mother and father rather than her creators. Ailith’s mind just works that way. (Word count: 393)
extra: I know how it feels to fear going to sleep.
I know how it feels to be torn apart.
I know how it feels to anticipate a new beginning.
I know how it feels to be betrayed.
I know how it feels to not know how good you have something until it’s gone.
I know how it feels to be the background character.
I know how it feels to die, yet to return.
I know how it feels to try and make the end come faster than it should.
I know how it feels to be a terrible leader.
I know how it feels to wish for something absurd.
I know how it feels to not feel.
I know how it feels to wake up and immediately start crying.
I know how it feels to remember something from long ago and feel my heart skip a beat.
I know how it feels to lie in bed and wish that when I wake up, tomorrow didn’t happen.
I know how it feels to hate.
I know how it feels to stain a page with tears.
I know how it feels to look around and realize the beauty of everything.
I know how it feels to look up to someone dear.
I know how it feels to forgive and forget, though hard.
I know how it feels to go a whole day without regretting something.
I know how it feels to feel warmth all over.
I know how it feels to start over.
I know how it feels to look at myself and suddenly realize how beautiful I am.
I know how it feels to fall on your hands and knees with relief.
I know how it feels to cry with laughter.
I know how it feels to love. (Word count: 297)