“There are no such things as Gods and Goddesses,” Zagreus had said the day before, and that single sentence had started an argument that had lasted the rest of the night and carried over into the next morning.
Life had been that way, ever since Eidolon was born. There seemed to be a new topic to battle over every few hours. To Zagreus, who had never been in a relationship before, it seemed like Laertes had loved him until he had a fawn and learned what true love felt like, and now that he knew he couldn’t go on pretending for Zagreus any longer. It felt strange, being jealous of his own son, but Zagreus couldn’t help but wonder if they’d still be close if Eidolon had never come into this world.
The first fight had been so strange to Zagreus, because his beautiful Laertes had always seemed so gentle and incapable of saying such harsh words. That was why Zagreus had loved him for so long, he supposed. He was used to other deersserts behaving deplorably, looking down on him for his hobbies, calling him “weird” and other worse names. Zagreus knew it was partially his fault, because he tended to act cold towards others. Possibly if he had been as amiable as Laertes, others would have overlooked his strange way of living, but that was what had been so lovely about Laertes – Zagreus had been able to be his quiet, abrasive self and Laertes had still gotten close to him.
Laertes had once smiled at him every day. When his lips stretched, his eyes closed all the way, and his curls bobbed around his face playfully. Zagreus had fallen in love with those squinting smiles and bouncing curls. Laertes still smiled constantly, but the smiles weren’t directed towards him any longer. In fact, it tended to be that when Laertes turned to look at him, the smiles disappeared.
“The reason we can’t be happy together any longer is you,” Laertes said coolly as he tied the red bow around his fawn’s neck. Eidolon, far too young to understand, raised a hoof to paw at the fabric and gave a gurgle of displeasure. Laertes gave him a kiss on the nose and swatted his hoof away.
The words seemed to echo around the room, taking the temperature down several degrees. Zagreus opened his mouth to protest, but Laertes was speaking again, not even looking in his direction, still fixated on that stupid bow.
“You hang around in cemeteries all day, playing with your Ouija boards and necklaces –“
“They’re scrying stones,” Zagreus interrupted.
“Whatever. You have all these morbid interests, and you believe in dead people more than you do the living. But never once have I ever counted that against you. I’ve always respected your beliefs, have I not?”
Zagreus couldn’t disagree. They wouldn’t be together now if Laertes had ever said one single thing negatively towards him. Zagreus knew how to hold a grudge.
“But you can’t do the same for me. You’re so selfish. That’s your problem. You can never bite your tongue. You can never think positively about anything. You’re going to go to your grave thinking that the world is a horrible place, and you can’t take pleasure in anything except the thought that some day you’re going to leave it.”
That’s not true, Zagreus wanted to retort, I was happy. But Zagreus didn’t think that Laertes wanted to hear that he had been happy once, before the birth of their fawn. That would make it all worse. Because, he supposed he recognized, it was another example of him being selfish. Instead of being thrilled that they had created a little fawn of their own, he was angry that Laertes loved the fawn more than himself.
“My hobbies were always kept to myself. I never forced you to participate in them,” Zagreus said, “But you’re forcing our son to believe in the Gods and Goddesses.”
“He’s a baby. I’m not forcing him to do anything,” Laertes said sourly, “And by the way, Zagreus, it certainly wasn’t your ghost friends that gave us a son. Have you thought about that? You can’t see them, but you believe in them. So why is it so farfetched to believe in religion?”
Zagreus rolled his eyes. He knew that this was all a lost cause. Laertes was noble, with such set in stone ideas of good and evil, that he would have to entirely change Laertes’s character in order to convince him otherwise. And he didn’t want Laertes to change. He just wanted Laertes to love him again. So he fell silent and decided to leave the room so that both of them could cool down.
Maybe it is my fault, he thought to himself, heaving a miserable sigh. But Laertes had always known he was like this. They had been friends long before they had become mates. How could he possibly be surprised?
His thoughts were interrupted by a knocking on the door. It was generally Laertes who answered, because it was only ever Laertes who had friends come over. But Laertes was busy preparing their young son for his prayer ceremony to the Goddess of Fate. It was unlikely he had anyone expected dropping in. Zagreus went to answer the door, and when it opened to the cold, grey morning outside, he found himself face-to-face with another deerssert.
She was old, very old. Her skin was loose, hanging from her body like she had bought her entire pelt many sizes too large, and the fur that covered it was falling out in patches from head to toe. And her eyes… They were large and pure white, seeming to glisten even though there was little sunlight that day. She must have been blind, with eyes like those, and yet she seemed to stare directly into his own eyes.
“Sir,” she said, and her voice was so faint and hoarse that he initially couldn’t make out her words, “I’m an old beggar woman without a single thing to my name except this deck of cards that have been passed down through generations of my family.” She reached around to the small sack she wore across her shoulder, and pulled out something that was wrapped in pale purple fabric and bound with a red string. When she undid the string and folded the fabric aside, a set of tarot cards were revealed.
“Would you please let me read you in exchange for a morsel of food?” she asked him.
“I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m not a religious deerssert. I don’t believe in the Goddess of Fate and her tarot cards. Ask your Goddess for guidance to a better door to knock at next time."
He reached out to shut the door, but then Laertes was at his side. “Eidolon and I are leaving, Zagreus. I really wish that you would come with us. The ceremony is so important to me,” he said, and the pained look in his eyes nearly broke Zagreus's heart. But the pain disappeared in a flash, replaced by his cheery smile as he turned to their guest, “Excuse me ma’am. I need to get past you. I’m in a hurry to leave.”
She didn’t move from the door, though. Her white eyes moved from Zagreus’s face to Laertes’s, and her mouth stretched in a toothless smile. "Gentle sir, I was just asking if you would please accept a tarot reading from me, in exchange for some food?"
"Oh, ma'am," Laertes said, "I'm terribly sorry. But I have to be on my way. I have to go to the temple to the Goddess of Fate. I'd be glad to give you some food, though." He turned to Zagreus, and his tone became sharp again. "Zagreus, give her anything she wants to eat. Don't anger the Gods and Goddesses on this day. Oh, I forgot, you don't believe in them. Well perhaps this lady has dead relatives who will come and haunt you until the day you die if you don't feed her, so you don't want to anger them, either, do you?"
Zagreus rolled his eyes. "Oh, please - "
"Sirs, I refuse to take even a bite to eat without offering something in return. Please. Invite me in. Isn't it the Goddess of Fate herself who controls these tarot cards? Perhaps this was a meeting of fate itself, even more important than a ceremony at a temple."
Laertes was torn. Her point was very valid, but he had always been taught that ceremonies were of utmost importance. Especially a deerssert's first. Finally, he decided to let her in mostly because it would anger Zagreus. He stood aside and gestured for her to enter. "A quick reading, please?"
"Of course, Sir. Of course," she said with that toothless grin again, and she shuffled into their home.
Zagreus glared at Laertes, but Laertes didn't even notice, because he had turned and was following the old woman into their home. She sat down beside their coffee table and took out her cards. "Shuffle, please," she said, holding the cards out to Zagreus.
Zagreus, with a sigh, did as he was asked.
The old woman then began laying the top cards of the deck out on the table. She laid down first a row of 8 cards, then a row of 4 cards above them. To the side, she set one final 13th card before setting the rest of the deck down on the corner of the table. "This spread is called The Lover's Path," she said, "It is a basic spread for deciphering relationships."
How did she know we were in a relationship? Zagreus found himself wondering.
She flipped over the first card she had laid down. "The Ace of Wands," she said, turning the card over to show them. She gestured at Laertes, although her eyes were still locked on Zagreus. "His life is moving forward. He is enthusiastic about it. Did the two of you just have a child? He is embracing fatherhood without hesitation."
"How did you know that we have a newborn son?" Laertes asked.
Zagreus tried to recall everything they had said at the door. Surely one of them had let something slip? Perhaps she had just put the pieces together based on what Laertes had said about the ceremony at the temple. It was nothing truly awesome. She was just very perceptive.
She flipped over the second card, and her eyes seemed to be glowing in their dimly lit room. "The world," she said, showing the card to Zagreus, "The card is reversed, do you see? I imagine that you were hoping for this relationship for a long time, weren't you? Did you love him, unrequited, from afar? You are close to finally having what you've always desired, but you aren't taking the right path to the completion of your goals. You've chosen the easiest path, the path with the least obstacles, but it is leading you in the wrong direction. I suggest you take some risks. Sometimes the harder path leads to what our heart truly wants. If you continue the way you are, you will only be moving farther and farther away from what you desire."
Zagreus knew his mouth was hanging opened slightly. He wanted to say something. He wanted to protest, to tell her she was a fraud and had no idea what she was doing. But in reality, her words seemed so accurate. For years, he and Laertes had been just friends. He had watched Laertes date countless other deersserts, and had always been there to pick up the pieces once one of them had broken his heart. When Laertes had suggested that they try it themselves, Zagreus had felt certain that he was getting the life that he had always dreamed of. Instead, he still felt dissatisfied. They weren't happy. And somehow, this strange old deerssert had seen right through him.
She's just speaking in general ideas, he told himself, she could say that to anyone and they'd feel like she was right.
"Here we have The Judgement," she said, flipping the third card, "And it is reversed. Laertes, have you not learned from your past relationships? You obviously needed more time for healing before you jumped into this relationship now, but is it too late. You need to examine yourself and keep moving forward. You have control in this relationship, and unless you move forward it cannot." She was building up momentum, her voice less frail. In fact, she was practically speaking in a frenzy, like a possessed woman, as she flipped the next card. "The eight of wands for you, Zagreus. There is so much potential for things to move forward, and it is time for you to step up and stop waiting for other people to make things happen. If you react now, this can be positive, but if you hesitate then you will lose your chance, possibly forever."
This was a joke! This old deerssert was clueless. She didn't know anything about relationships at all. Zagreus glanced at Laertes, but the cocky smile was wiped off his face immediately when he saw that Laertes looked nearly on the verge of tears. He was studying the old woman with his head tilted to the side, his lips drawn down in a melancholy frown. "What's wrong?" he asked, but the woman wasn't stopping for anything now.
She was flipping cards like wild now. " Laertes. You are so optimistic. You view romance as the next great adventure. You are mentally and emotionally strong. You are loving, but perhaps too loving, as your heart sometimes wanders. Zagreus you put up your defenses and don't let anyone in, not even your mate and your son. You yourself feel like you have no romantic needs, and so you are ignoring the needs of your partner."
"You're upsetting him," Zagreus said, desperate for her to stop this assault of words. Laertes was actually crying now, the tears dripping down his fur. But he waved Zagreus off, wishing for him to be quiet. Laertes felt like he had been living in a fog recently, but finally, with the help of this woman, things were becoming clearer.
"Cards 9 and 10 say that you must word hard and work tirelessly, and the key thing you need to work on is communication. Both of you need to communicate more clearly and more frequently with each other. You don't need to keep things to yourselves anymore. And card 11..."
After flipping the eleventh card on the table, she finally slowed down. The room seemed to return to normal. She smiled, and the smile seemed to reach her eyes - it was such a gentle look of genuine warmth that Zagreus felt all his anxiety dissipate.
"This card is the Three of Cups," she said, and he noticed her voice was tired and ancient once more, "If the two of you can work out your differences, it signifies that you have a future of happiness and celebration ahead of you. Sometimes this card signifies a wedding. Do you see? Do you see how wonderful it could be, if you will both work together instead of working alone selfishly?"
She flipped the twelfth card, and they both noticed she was shaking, as if she had exerted too much energy. The card was upside down, and after a moment she gave a soft laugh. "The Seven of Swords. Boys, don't you see? Don't you see what the cards are telling you over and over again. You need to move forward, and fate has much joy in store for you. Don't fear changes in yourself. No change at this point is a bad one, because if you continue at the rate you are going, then it will never work out."
There was one single card remaining face-down on the table. When she turned it over, all she did was utter the word, "Justice." And then she began laughing again, harder this time, shaking her head. "The cards are never wrong," she added, and she rose to her feet.
She she stood, she somehow seemed impossibly large for her tiny, frail body. Zagreus watched her, feeling frightened somehow, as if she held great power that he was unaware of except for subconsciously. He didn't know what to say to her. All the words he could think of seemed so insignificant. Thankfully, it was Laertes who spoke for him.
"Thank you," was all he said, and he was brushing the last of his tears away, returning to his cheerful self. "Let me fix you up some food to take with you. Please."
The old woman nodded her head, and when Laertes left the room for the kitchen, Zagreus seemed to feel the spell breaking. His awe for the old deerssert left him in a heavy sigh.
"Well, that was entertaining," he said softly.
She simply smiled at him, and when she did, he saw something beneath the surface of her. Another form, perhaps. Something incorporeal and beautiful at the same time. "The two of you are tied by the red string of fate," she said, "But for some reason, the string has become a tangled mess. I suppose it was because I failed to follow up on the two of you frequently enough."
"W-what?" he asked, raising a brow. What was she talking about? It was pure nonsense!
"Children are very intuitive to the state of the strings that connect their parents. I suggest you work hard to sort it out before Eidolon gets any older."
"What?" he repeated, growing irritated that she refused to clarify. And he realized that at some point in their conversation, even though he had been completely unaware of her moving, she had ended up at the door.
"Hopefully you won't see me again," she said, and she stepped outside into the gloomy morning just in time for Laertes, returning from the kitchen, to see the swish of her tail as she disappeared through the door.
"Where did she go?" he asked.
"I don't know. She just left..." Zagreus said. He felt awkward, as though there was something the both of them should be talking about. But the words wouldn't come.
Then Eidolon was crying from the bedroom, and Zagreus rose to go investigate. "You still have time to get him to the ceremony," he said.
Laertes had nearly forgotten. But for some reason, the urgency seemed gone. "I think we'll just stay home today," he said, "In case she returns. I want to give her some food, you know? I feel like we owe her."
"I agree..." Zagreus said, "I think we owe her quite a lot."