[wyrdwurm]

When it's all said and done

You can walk instead if run

'Cause no matter what you'll never be alone

Name
Sabrina Nina Bacot

Gender
Female

Journal Entry One

Dear Journal

It is the 2nd day of February 2006. I have greatly neglected you over the years, the last date of my entry being May 17th 2004. If it was not for it being the date of my 13th birthday you would still be rotting under my bed, ps. sorry about Thunder, my bunny, chewing the corner of your cover while you were lost, but I have finally found you again even though you smell like dust bunnies. But back to the topic of why I have finally opened your forgotten pages. Today as I said is my 13th birthday, the day I become a teenager and as my mother has told me, a young lady. Now really I don't see how 13 is any different then 12, don't get me wrong I love getting gifts ofcurse but it's not like I was any different yesterday then I am today. I am rambling again so please forgive me, to the point. My mother handed down to me what may be the most precious gift I have ever gotten, even better then my feathers. My mother today handed down to me her compass. I know I know journal, that's something a dad gives his little boy scout son, but this compass is special. The compass is set up like a locket or pocket watch so that you have to pop open its cover to look inside. The needle is thin and shines when the light hits it right and the compass itself looks as though it is made of silver with gold lining, I'm not sure if it really is though because I always thought compasses got messed up by metal. The back of the compass says these words
"Let your heart, sweet heart
Be your compass when you're lost
And you should follow it wherever it may go"
Yep the corny old follow your heart saying, but there's more to it then just that. The golden lining along the outside of it in the same flowing almost cursive text has even more words saying.
"Forgot directions on your way
Don't close your eyes don't be afraid
It might get crazy late at night
Follow stars you'll be alright"
And then finally on the inside when you pop open the cover of the compass the writing shows itself once more on the inside saying
"When it's all said and done
You can walk instead of run
'Cause no matter what you'll never be alone"
Never be alone, heck I'm only 13 and my moms already worried about me leaving home. But still its almost like a story...saying the old follow your heart business and then saying yep your going to get lost but in the end you won't be alone and will still have help. It kinda kills the hyper of the day but its also almost reassuring. I think I will keep it with me as a lucky charm, it will atleast keep mom happy. Well journal hopefully I will use you more often. I'm going to put you in my dresser so Thunder doesn't try eating you again. Good Night

~Sabrina Bacot

You wanna give up 'cause it's dark
We're really not that far apart

Journal Entry Two

Dear Journal

I can't believe you haven't hit the trash yet. Heck I haven't opened you sense I turned 13. It is now February 3rd 2014 and I am now 21 years old. It's kind of ironic that I would open you again after so long seeing what my last entry was about. It's been a long and bumpy road sense I was 13 years old and things have changed allot. I am in the physical sense an adult now though sometimes I am sure I am still a child. My once buck teeth have grown to the unusual length of saber teeth, luckily though the unusual eyes of mine have helped to mask the what others see as unsightly teeth. I've been ridiculed and teased over the years, men will see me walking by and making a clawing motion at me going roar in tease at my fangs and I will duck my head and go on. I moved out when I was 18 and have had to deal with such annoyances alone. *there appears to be a tear stain on the paper here washing out the letters of the following word though they are still legible* I finally found a job, selling vegetables at the local market. It's hard to make friends, those I made in childhood moved away like myself though not in the same direction of me. I'm not the best at making new friends and am way to conscious of what others think of me. There is this one kia in particular who's been bothering me lately. He just wont stop teasing me, asking if I peal my fruit with my teeth and "man it must be great having shishkabobs wherever you go. But here is where it really gets frustrating and confusing. The other day he came up to me, no jeers or teases and flat out told me he wanted to take me to dinner. Has he just been trying to get my attention this whole time! *the writing here becomes darker as though she is pressing down harder with her pencil, two more drops have fallen on the previous sentence.* It's just..gah its not fair! Why can't things be simple and easy like they were when I was little. I sit here now with you my journal and pull out that old compass, it is the same as it was back when I last wrote in you, though smeared now with fingerprints. I wanna go home but I can't just leave my job. It will be growing season soon and I have to be here to help Ted plow so he can get the crops in on time. I guess I've left alot of gaps in this but I'll just fill those in later. My finger runs now over the engravings which have followed me so long. My heart is so lost I have no idea where it's needle points, and it seems so dark out I can't see the stars..but...atleast I know I'm not alone. I can't be the first Kia to go though this. I think tomorrow I'll talk to Ted's wife, maybe she has some advice. Until then I hope my compass needle stops spinning in queezy circles and gets pointing me somewhere. Goodnight journal and sweet dreams.

~Sabrina Bacot

[CeruleanRush]

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╆-----------------------------------╅

Ｉ ｗｒｉｔｅ ｆｏｒ ｆｅａｒ

ｏｆ ｓｉｌｅｎｃｅ .


Ｙｏｕ ｃａｒｖｅｄ ａ ｂｏａｔ

ｔｏ ｓａｉｌ ｍｙ ｓｈａｄｏｗ .


Ｎｏｗ Ｉ ｗａｌｋ ａｌｏｎｅ .

╄-----------------------------------╃

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n a m e → Lethei
Lethe, in Greek
mythology, was
one of the five
rivers of Hades.
Those who dared
to drink from it
forgot everything;
every one of their
memories was
gone forever.

♂ ← g e n d e r
Lethei is fine
with being male,
the whole "pink
hair" thing doesn't
really bother him.
He's got bigger
problems to focus
on, one part of his
appearance doesn't
cause a crisis.

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j o u r n a l - e n t r y - o n e ✍

[ age ↔ 10 ]

-----

Reminders:
1. Write in cool new notebook!!
2. Ask Jean what those words mean
3. Ask Mom where we were going

-----Hi notebook!! I saved your life! I was wahking walking somewhere... where was it? I don't remember. Anyways, notebook, me and mom were walking when I noticed something on the ground that was pink, like me, so I ran over to it. Well, it turns out it was only partley partly pink. The bottom half had been ritten written on in black marker. You were that notebook on the sidewalk by the road, and I picked you up because I knew that if I was stuck there by that loud road, I would want someone to come save me too! Mom whalked walked up behind me, and she said that I should put you down because you were a gross piece of trash, and she watched me until I did put you back on the ground. When she turned around I grabbed you and hided hid you in my jacket, though, so that's why you're safe at home with me. I was so sneaky even Mom didn't see!! She just sied syghed sighed and talked very quietly so I couldn't hear. They were words like "this child" and "I thought I raised him better", so I don't think she was talking about us, notebook.
-----When we got home, I ran around in circles yelling Jean's name until he finalie finally came into the room. He told me he wasn't up to playing then, which was good because you are very serius serious business, notebook!! So I grabbed his paw and draged dragged him into the kitchen, but then I had to stop and pull you out of my jacket really dramatickly dramaticley dramatically because that's how I saw someone on TV do it. He did the sighing thing Mom did but I didn't care because I was too exsited excited about showing him you! Jean snatched you out of my hands, but I told him that he couldn't have you because you were pink and pink was MY color. He whacked me in the shoulder and growled. Aparently Apparently, the writing wasn't very nice, and it made his face sorta do that thing where it turns all pink 'cause he was embarased embarrassed. I asked him what it said because I didn't get most of the words but he whacked my shoulder again and said that Mom and Dad would kill us if they found what it said on it, so he grabbed another black marker and started scribbling over the words. I tried to get him to stop because he was ruining the pink and making it uglie ugly, but I only managed to get him to compomize compromise with me and make the black into a design. Now, your top half is pink with a black bottom half, and the black spirals up into the pink. It looks like the two colors are fighting, which I didn't like, but Jean did it so it's ok.
-----So now I'm in my room on my bed, telling you the story of how I came across you. Though, there's one thing I don't know if I should mention. I didn't tell Mom, or Jean, and I don't even want to know you. But it's about you, so I think you deserve to know. When I saw you and picked you up, I suddenly rembered remembered the summer of '68. That was the thing that confuzed confused me the most, '68 seems like it was a long time ago!! I was holding a notebook in my paw, but that notebook wasn't you and I wasn't me. That notebook was just plain black, and I was green and really tall. I was writing remindrs reminders to myself, so I think that's what I'm suposed supposed to do with you. That's why I did it at the top! The one thing that scared me, though, was that when I remembered writing in the notebook, I forgot where me and Mom were going, and I couldn't remember. It took me a bit to even remember we were going somewhere!
-----So, notebook, I've filled up the first page so I think I'll stop here. I'll see you tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day!! But... wait. I know you're your name is notebook, but I've never told you mine! I'll just sign it down at the bottom like a letter so it can be official that we're friends now.

-----Your new friend,
----------Lethei

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j o u r n a l - e n t r y - t w o ✍

[ age ↔ 20 ]

-----

Reminders:
1. Lock the doors before leaving today
2. Check the mailbox
3. Open letter from Jean
4. Write reply to Jean
5. Put letter in envelope before sealing
6. Get stamps
7. Mail letter
8. Check to make sure the oven's off
9. Finish newest journal entry

-----I realized today that I should probably combine everything I know so far into one journal entry that I can find easily. It's beginning to get too tricky to have to page around in something like 50 different notebooks to remember every little detail about myself and this ridiculous condition. Once more, it's getting worse. I'll start forgetting what I just read when I'm flipping around to find the next entry. Sooner or later, I'm finally going to be in over my head. While I have some breathing room, though, I guess I'll explain this all in the same notebook that everything started with. It's been a while, old friend.
----- So, I might as well start from the beginning. In my very first journal entry ever (which just so happened to be in you, pink notebook), I mentioned how I was on a walk with Mom and found you. At the same time, I forgot where we were going and remembered something completely different. It was a memory that I had never lived through, and it confused me. I didn't realize it then, but that was the beginning of a dark downwards spiral.
-----At a young age, it was hard to notice things in my mind were changing, shifting, moving around in ways they weren't supposed to. The end result was that I was forgetting things, and this didn't stand out to anyone. My parents didn't notice, my teachers didn't notice, Jean didn't notice, even I didn't notice. At this point in life, I now realize that what was beginning in me was not normal. But back then, I though all children were like me; all children seemed to suddenly forget this or that. I was wrong, but the fact that no one knew that there was something off about me meant that no one could tell me what I was going through wasn't normal, I wasn't normal.
-----As I grew, the forgetting got worse. I could very subtly tell something was wrong, but it was wrong in the way that it was one of those little character flaws that I could cover up with smoke and mirrors. Out of all the things in the world I could have begun to forget most often, it was names. If I didn't see you for several hours a day, every day, I couldn't remember your name. Sometimes I couldn't even remember who you were. Nicknames became my greatest ally from that point forward. When I forgot a name, I would make one up based on whatever stood out to me about your appearance. Others fell for it, I guess, as I was able to get through most every situation where I didn't remember someone by immediately giving them a temporary nickname.
-----Over time, I began to realize that this whole forgetfulness thing was on much bigger than I had thought it was, and that it came with some rules. First off, I wasn't just forgetting things. My thoughts and memories were, instead, being replaced with other thoughts and memories that didn't belong to me. It wasn't out of nowhere, either. The best way I've come to describe it is like déjà vu. I'll come across an object, person, place, or situation, and it will trigger a memory that will cover one of my own. These new memories are not mine either. They are the memories of millions of different people, from simple things like mentally listing things to buy at the store to detailed memories of a birthday or funeral. There is no limit to the memories, and I cannot control when or how I receive them, or which memories of mine they replace. Instead, the memories control me.
-----It took me a while to accept that I couldn't really trust my own mind anymore, but things got so bad I was practically forced to.. No matter what I did, my own thoughts and memories could be thrown out in the blink of an eye. So, I began taking writing more seriously. Instead of making childish little accounts of the day like I used to enjoy doing, writing because absolutely essential to my survival as a normal being. If I wasn't constantly noting every little thing I needed to remember, it wouldn't be possible to make it through the day. Sometimes, I wonder if you, pink notebook, were supposed to be a sign of the ridiculous relationship I would have to forge with notebooks of all sizes.
-----Long ago, I learned of my fate, and made the mistake to not record how I learned of it. In my state of panic, I was able to feebly scribble in several sentences what my purpose in this world apparently happens to be, but nothing more. From what I was able to decipher, my existence is merely more than an attic where old, dusty memories are packed away. Every time someone forgets or can't remember something, that memory is then mine to eventually pick up and carry on my slow trek through life. Imagine it like you're rolling up the bottom of a snowman, except you can't stop rolling. It just keeps getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger. My being is no more than a shell meant to be filled with the recollections of those who are not me. The Lethei known by others is of less importance of these memories, and someday, he will no longer be able to fight against those memories anymore. He can't escape the shell, and neither can the memories, so he'll simply drown.
-----I've considered it many times before. Perhaps giving up to those rising tides of memories would be a final escape from all of these monsters I am forced to fight off. Giving up would be beautiful; there would never be another moment spent having a panic attack over a memory that no one, no one should ever have to experience. However, one voice in me says that I need to keep going, to keep pushing for as long as I can. I don't know if anyone else out there could share the same fate as mine, but if I somehow am the only one granted the task of keeping these memories, I cannot lose myself in them without a fight. No one else should have to experience the waves of emotions from agony to sorrow that come with these emotions. If I'm not guarding them, then who will?
-----Thankfully, for now, I'm ok. My head is still above those pitch-black waves, and it should be for a while. I think when the day comes that my life fades to black, I'll have fulfilled my purpose.
-----

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[geotalon]

Reminder this ends tomorrow! I will end it about 2 PM EST.

"Secondly I don't want to see any art or pictures! This contest is partial based on coding and partially based on the content and I would not like to see images in the form. Get creative without placers!"

There are no images allowed. That included font images. All forms with an image are immediately disqualified going to be disqualified in an hour and not be counted tomorrow. I know all the forms with images, so please don't try to edit around that. Thank you. Sorry, but please be sure to read the rules next time.

Remember you have 1 hour.

[claypigeon]

images like an image of a forest or of fonts like from here

[geotalon]

Correct, ALL images are not allowed, even fontmeme.

I changed it to give you guys ONE hour to edit the images out or you will be disqualified.

[claypigeon]

are we allowed alt codes?

[koegami]

I'm going to edit and finish my form tonight. Can I place it where I posted? I wasn't reserving, I asked a question. I have no idea whether it was posted or not. It will be posted late tonight, early tomorrow morning. Is that ok? I can quote my question. Here.

super quick question. I will take off when answered.
Do you know how long the entries should be? Or no limit?
And I do my entries In a different style. 2nd person, then a short/long
1st person quote thing telling about it. But through his/her eyes. Is
This alright with you? Or no? Pm me if you want it removed.
I wasn't sure where to ask...... :3

[runnershigh]

does it count if your journal entries are images? can we get disqualified for that, even if we link it?

[Pi.]

Name: Cave Johnsen
Gender: Male
Journal Entry1:
Well I brought my genetically modified potato to school today and had that bully eat it. Things didn't turn out so well. First, well... lets just say he immediately became hungry, if you're catching my drift, and then his left ear became all puffy. All my classmates started to scream, and the bully seemed to be in a state of pure fear. A small part of me longed to look away from the side effects of my creation but I couldn't. I needed observations. And though resulting in the suffering of another, this was after all, for science. My teacher burst into the room and immediately rushed to the aid of my fellow, fearful, classmate. I tried to explain that the side effects were only temporary but she wouldn't listen. She simply told me that, "I'll deal with you later...". As if I was the bad guy! I was simply experimenting, testing...but no. I was a horrible kiamara simply for testing out my own hypothesis. For being a scientist. Later, after the ambulance arrived, me teacher did in fact take care of me. She grabbed me by the arm, firmly but not so that I was hurting, and dragged me to the principle's office. The first thing that was asked of course was why I "lashed out" at my classmate. Teachers are so stereotypical... I stood my ground right then and there, and simply explained that I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I just wanted to see what would happen when someone ate my genetically modified potato. The principle shook his head, as if he did not understand. He then looked up, telling me, "Cave. You can't keep doing this. This is the third time one of your 'experiments' have ended up hurting another student. And I can't stand for that." With this he motioned my out of his office to wait to be picked up by my guardians. I sighed, knowing that soon I would be suspended once more or even expelled. But school didn't really matter to me. You don't need to go to school to be a scientist! Thoughts of my future floated around my mind as I waited for my parents. And it was today when I decided as an adult, I would open up my own science labs. I already have a name in mind for it. How does "Aperture Science" sound to you?
Journal Entry2:
Today I woke up nervous once again. I had the dream about the alarms again, that one day everything here at Aperture would go wrong and shut down. I washed my face with cold water, attempting to shake this feeling away. Why would anything go wrong? Nothing ever had before. I walked out into our main testing area, watching as our subjects weaved through the courses filled with things such as our newly patented Turrets. A cloud of dust hit my face and I burst out coughing. Most like some moon dust.... I thought. I wasn't phased by this outburst, it was a normal occurrence, almost everyone here experienced them. But my mind flew back to the concerns my brother had expressed, he had suggested to go see a doctor to be checked out. But there was no time for that. The release date for our new product, Aperture Brand Portal Guns, was soon and there were many things to be done. I waved to my many workers, keeping a cheerly smile and not showing my nervousness. All of a sudden, a shrill noise pierced my ears and everything turned red. My worst nightmare. All systems were failing, the alarms were setting off. I looked around in a panicked state, why had things gone wrong? What was wrong in the first place? My workers instinctively abandoned their stations, leaving our subjects trapped. Their eyes were full of something. Now that I think about it, I recognize it as fear. They were fearful. They didn't want to die. But it was their fault. They signed up! I remembered my experience with that bully. How he had chosen to eat the potato. This wasn't my fault. I wasn't bad. I was doing this for science, it didn't matter if they all died. They chose this fate. I took one last glance at them, and bolted for the door.

[geotalon]

does it count if your journal entries are images? can we get disqualified for that, even if we link it?

Yes. NO png, jpg, gifs, or anything like that.

sure

@ Just some fangirl

Those are fine, I can copy the characters and they aren't png, jpg, or otherwise.