[malarkey]

Name?
Hello there dear, my name is Pastel. Pastel Jane Vincent, to be exact.
Gender?
I'm a girl, of course.
Journal entry 1// April 3rd, 2004; Entry 479, Jrnl. 1
It was a cool summer evening, my mother and I were out on the deck, drinking ice-cool lemonade. I had brought all of my toys and such outside, and set up a small world of critters running in and out of houses, buying confections and trinkets, lazing around; or simply exploring! I enjoy caring for my townsfolk, making them speak and such. My friends //FYI, Pastel is schitzofrentic. Luna and Coast were eating icecream, and driving around toy cars, helping to bring life to my small city. I wish my doggy, Rilen was there... It was fun and we could have played fetch! But Rilen was dead, and he only visits sometimes... But I have a kitty too, Lily. My momma says shes naughty, and gets into trouble easily, but thats just her personality, and I love her to bits!! After playing with our toys, we went swimming, it was really fun! Momma even swam, too! There where fishes, sharks, and turtles, and and- Manta rays! I explored caverns too! It was really pretty! I want to study fish and the ocean when i'm older! Then, we went home, washed up and went to bed. The fluffy sheets are so comfy, like warm, soft, billowy clouds...
*The entry comes to a sudden stop, a line trailing off the paper, she must have fallen asleep.
Journal entry 2// October 21st, 2013; Entry 201, Jrnl. 2
*The words are much cleaner and crisp, slanted and even writen in cursive!
It is cold and gloomy outside, water droplets racing down the window. The fish hung from my bed's canopy shimmer from the gloomy light, above them fish swim in a vast sea, chasing after one another and threatening to escape my imagination and cross into the real world, and ask me to join their adventure. From downstairs I can smell the sweet smell of pancakes, eggs, syrup, and bacon. I get up and go downstairs, immediately walking over to the table and resuming what I was drawing the previous day, a great blue whale. I love drawing sea creatures and water, but today I did not feel like venturing into the rain outdoors, so instead I retreated inside and read books about sea creatures, played with my toys (your never too old to play with toys!), drew fantasy creatures, and played with Lily. Coast and Luna where nowhere to be seen today, and I fear they may have gotten lost in my mind...

Well, that is the end of my day, I feel under the weather at the moment, and I don't feel like writing the rest...

I hope to see you again, Diary.
~Pastel Vincent

[Sambee]

Name: Memory
Gender: Male

Journal Entry 1:
1/2/2008
Dear cherry, I still wonder why I named you...but then I remember. You are always there when I need you. You catch my tears, listen to my thoughts, and keep my secrets. Momma says when I get older...I will have to throw you away. If I don't, she will put you in the shredder! I don't want you to die! Who else could I depend on?...No one understands how much we need eachother. But don't worry, I won't let anyone hurt you. Everyone sees you as a dingy old notebook, but I don't. I see you as my only friend, the only family I care about. I will fight for you, for us, to stay together.

Journal Entry 2:
3/16/2014
My hands are shaking as I write this...I'm sorry, so, so sorry. I failed and let you feel pain....I could do nothing but watch as they ripped you to shreds, spilling everything you had inside. They never wanted me to be happy, not once. When they saw that you made me the tiniest bit happy, they had to destroy you. They got me a new book though, but this one is nothing compared to you. I will never tell my secrets to it, nor anything personal. The only reason they got me a new one was because it wouldn't bring me joy. I will miss you, more than anything in the world. You meant so much to me. I promise to never forget all you have done for me, and as I say my final goodbye on your last ripped and brittle page.....
thank you.

[lawfullychaotic]

Name:
Jojo

Gender:
Female

Journal Entry1:

Dear... um, notebook? Yeah, notebook.

To be truthful, I don't really want you, but my psychiatrist thought it would be best for my dis-order, to have something other than my brother to confide in. Please, don't be offended! I just hate being treated differently, it's not like I enjoy having such bad mood swings, in actual fact I'm a nice person, but... *sigh* it happens. Back onto a better note, I saw that cute kia today at Starbucks. You see, I work there, and believe me, I make a mean mocha~ But this guy has been coming in every so often, with naturally slicked back hair and dreamy eyes and I sorta can't help but start going nuts in my head, like ' Ohhhh nooo, it's him againn whatdoIdo? aaaaAAA. Between you and me, I sometimes give him extra cream and sneak in one of my own chocolate chip cookies. Maybe someday I'll get out of

Journal Entry2:

soon

[kittywolfwarrior]

Name:
Tigris

Gender:
Female

Journal Entry1:
I've just come back from school nothing really has happened though, well except my other friend q(not a real Kia name I don't think). That's wright she hates me so much, well atleast I have my other friends and my awesome brother!
Well I best end it here so I don't write any more nasty stuff about her.

Journal Entry2:
Com back from work, god them little kia's I'm glad I don't have one of my own yet.
They keep on pulling my teeth and my tail, i mean what's so fun about that?!
Well at least I have a day of tomorrow so that's all good... But then I have to go back for a week.
Oh come on!

------------------------------------------------

[Peachpie1164]

Name:
Sabeth, Beth for short.
Gender:
Female.

Sunday, May 31st, 2009.
Today I went down to the dam again to calm my mind down from yesterday’s events, I really don’t get why they are always teasing her, I will admit I did once or twice but that was just because everyone else was! Still I don’t really see what’s wrong with her... They act as if she has some mental problem, which in a way it seems like she does but doesn’t everyone? Her brother does stand up for her at times, but he won’t always be there, he’s always busy with other stuff. I think I pity her, but I really don’t know, I pity myself at times so I wouldn’t really understand. Anyway she was at the dam too, just sitting there that stupid grin on her face, not giving a care in the world. I sat away from her just watching her splashing her paws in the water, anyone would think she never was bullied. After a while I went and spoke to her, just because yeah I had nothing better to do and it didn’t seem like she did either. So we were talking and the question just slipped out of my mouth, I didn’t even know I was saying it, but still I don’t think I will ever forget how she answered me, it’s just been sitting at the front of my mind, as if it’s been carved into my skull. She said ‘I don’t mind them teasing me about being different, they are probably just doing it because they are afraid, afraid to be different for themselves, to break out of their shells and be themselves, so if teasing me about being myself is the only way they can do this, Fine I say!” Then she just laughed. I will never understand her but I think she is the wisest one of us all.

Friday, March 21st, 2014.
Why are people so mean? They’ve been teasing me for at least a fortnight now, all I did was come out about being bi, half of them probably are too! But why do they have to be so cruel about it. All the other girls including my friends have ditched me! For sport when we have to get changed in the gym, they all move as far away as possible from me saying things like ‘Stay away from her, she’ll eye your whole body, like the scum she is’ I’m not that bad! I’m still the same person I was two weeks ago! And as if I will ever want to check your flabby bodies out, just because I’m bi does not mean I will like anyone at this school, just get over yourselves…..
Maybe they find me easier to tease because of my punkness too? The fact that I am willing to get tons of piercings and have teeth that are pointy and hundreds of times longer than theirs. Maybe they just want me to act like them? Turn into more copies of them, when they are just copying those stupid ‘famous’ people, that do stupid things to become famous. But not matter how much they try I will never break to their conformity, I am myself and if I’m not ‘perfect’ enough to be like them well they must not be perfect enough for themselves!
I love myself! I love being me! I would get a tattoo saying it across my head! I would go to the tallest tower and yell it out at the top of my lungs then sit and pity those poor fools who couldn’t even be themself, just like Lilla said 5 years ago to me.
I’m proud of who I am and who I will become so stuff all those people who say otherwise! I am in control of my own being and no one, no one at all can tell me what to do.
XX Beth.

[knifekind]

┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓

xxxxname: cerise. yes, like the color. say it like sirr-eese. as a kid, i got alot of crap about my colors, and earned alot of mean nicknames -- girlie, princess, longfang, toothy etc.. you can call me ceri.

xxxxgender: i'm male. alot of other kias mistake me for a girl, due to the pink, but nope, I'm 100% male.

xxxxjournal entry 1: sunday, march 24, 2005
i think i'm going to go mad in here.
for most kias, getting your feathers means glory, a hunt, winning something.
yet for my family -- the sabrers -- it's painful and cold.
i'm confused on how just hours before i was shaking with excitement.
now, i am shaking with fear.
the test for my family is to see how long you'll last in a room.
completely dark.
no windows, no doors, no light to be seen -- i'm going mad.
am i?

~ ceri

xxxxjournal entry 2: [color=#404040]monday, march 24, 2014
it's been a while, diary. i miss you. i miss everything.
i guess you deserve a little update;
i came out as being bisexual about a month ago.
mother, and father, weren't impressed, yet they begrudgingly allowed me to stay as their son.
i'm moving out in a few days, but i found you as i was cleaning out my closet.
so much more has happened..
well, mother's calling. i'd better go.
bye, diary..
~ cer

[Dr. Paine]

☾ тнere'ѕ a cнιp on yoυr ѕнoυlder gιrl ☽
☾ and вy god ιт'll мaĸe yoυ ғall ☽
☾ ιғ yoυ leт ιт тaĸe a parт oғ yoυr ѕoυl ☽

┏-----------------------------------------------------------------------------┓
Property of:
Valiant

Owner information:
My name is Valiant! I am a 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 twenty year old Kia who's got the best brother ever!
I'm a girl Kia but I don't really care if anyone thinks I'm a girl or boy. I'm just Val!
┗-----------------------------------------------------------------------------┛

☾ ι've ѕeen тнe love ιn yoυr вroтнer'ѕ eyeѕ ☽
☾ and тнe love ιn yoυr мoтнer'ѕ crιeѕ ☽
☾ ѕιѕтer don'т тeѕт тнe oneѕ yoυ love ☽

┏----------------------------------------------------┓
Journal Entry1:
9/21/08

'I'm sorry about that last page. I didn't mean to rip it, I...
I guess it got too waterlogged.
Some of the old pages got stuck together too,
I think I've pretty much lost that entry about the play.

We've been dividing things up the past few days. They...
Mom and dad.
They finally split.
Jean got out a couple years ago when they were their worst,
sometimes I'd go stay with him when it got too bad. Those... well,
I've been reading those entries a lot lately, ha.
Stay up all night playing video games (best thing that's
happened all week: Jean caught me a shiny Furret, how
cool is that?! He even named it Val before he traded it.)
or listening to stories of dumb junk he's done and said...
it's really fun. I feel like I can actually relax some around him.
I mean, I know I've said that a ton lately, but it's really
important, you know?

I've been sick for weeks. There, okay, I said it. A...
and past couple days I've been shedding like crazy,
it feels like half my mane ends up in my hairbrush every day,
and I'm getting all... skinny. I only really eat any more when
I'm at Jean's, and that's all... 'junk' food, y'know? Eating at home
is just painful now. Usually dad's just quiet or still at work and...
well, I don't hang around mom's enough for dinner often.
She tries to make it like everything's okay, I hat it. e
Jean left home early cause he couldn't take it, dad's falling
into a wreck. I've tried telling them about how I've... been, but...
well, dad's busy. I don't want to bug him with it.
And mom just says I need to calm down and not
stress. That I'm not the one going through
all the documents and legal stuff and
actually ending it all, I can do fine.

Can you believe she actually said that?!
Yeah it's been hard on her, does she really
think I haven't noticed that? But she always
gets like this, all she sees is how it hurts her,
she doesn't see that it's been hurting dad.
That Jean got pretty hurt (why does she think he left
so early?!). No duh it's been hard, but you'd think
she'd have a little sympathy for her kids at least!
I... and all I told her was that I'm feeling sick.
I really think I need... therapy or something,
all I've been feeling lately is just...
angry. Angry when I'm not crying
or just feeling like I want to...
just go to sleep and not wake up I guess.
I just don't want to be in this any more,
I... I think we're all just being
selfish and dumb in this, and I'm trying to
not get too bad, I know they're having trouble
and even if I think mom's being dumb she's
under a lot of stress but is
is it really too much to ask that maybe I
can just... say I'm scared and sick and
miserable and get some...

..........
where was I be-- right, we're splitting things up.
Dad's moving in a couple weeks, and they're
getting joint custody, so I've got to...
to figure out what I'm keeping and what's
going to storage, neither... neither room
has a lot of space. And mom'd toss my
games and music anyway,
she keeps saying she wants one of us
kids to turn out right.

Jean got out.
But he was already pretty much an adult,
he could do it fine but I'm... look at me.
I'm fourteen.

I don't know. Maybe I could run away.

Maybe I could live with Jean, he'd hide me.

Maybe I could just go live in a park or... or out in the forest.
I've got fangs, I've got claws.

Ha, me living in the wild... no way I could get out of sight
long enough.

I guess I can dream though, living out in the woods would be
less stressful than living like this, I could just... let go? Jean's
the only one I think I really... really care about any more at
this point, and he'd probably get it. I could just get out and be somewhere
and not have to worry about moving or... or anything like that...

I'm... I'm tired now. Maybe I'll try making myself eat,
it's been... wow. Ha. Checked the last page,
guess it's been over a day. I think I've got
some of that big cookie I bought when
I was with Jean, I'll try some of that.

I'll talk to you soon.'
~Val
┗----------------------------------------------------┛

┏----------------------------------------------------┓
Journal Entry2:
4/04/14

'Geez... it's been a while since I've written anything
in here, huh? Last entry looks like it was from '08,
dang. I... I don't really know what to say.
There's about six years missing. K... it's kinda hard.
I mean, I knew it all along when I figured out when it
was when I 'got back', but... wow. Seeing... daily entries
then it just stops like that...

Wow.

What do I say? Where do I start? I... I guess...
I mean, okay, you got chucked into storage, there's a
place to start. I... you know that last entry? I... well.
Dad said he... I was going to have to live with mom
for a while, he just wasn't able to support the two of
us without it getting bad for one of us. Which would
definitely mean him. So I guess... I kind of lost it. I
didn't mean to, but... I was only going to spend a few
nights away, maybe go to Jean's, but then...

I was so angry. I was even angry at Jean,
thought that he could've gotten me out of it,
that was how a big brother was supposed to be but
he was just being stupid Jean and couldn't, and...
I just ran. I didn't care where I'd end up,
I just needed to be away, it... I didn't have a family
any more, as far as I was concerned. I know, that's
kind of over-dramatic and all, but I was
fourteen at the time... ... nah. No. It was just
petty and overdramatic, but it was too late to go back.

I kind of just... went feral I guess, that's a good word--
I got seriously lost, okay? I'm not sure exactly how long
I was out there, a couple years? I think I was... sixteen,
seventeen when I started going back near cities again.
Mostly just to scrounge around and find somewhere out
of the rain, I still... I didn't feel comfortable around
anyone else yet. And it was kind of creepy
seeing some ripped old poster with half your
face on it on a telephone pole.

I still remember that, it's way too clear. And I remember...
just hiding in a park after that. I'd been so cool for so long,
not caring at all, I was just... I wasn't really Val any more, just
the pink long toothed predator who didn't have any kind of attachment.
So that was the first time in... in a while that I really realized it.
That I was Val, and I did have attachments. Even if
our family was breaking up, we were a family and I... just left.
Let them go like they were nothing, and it... god, how bad had
I hurt them? How scared were they? There's still no justification
for it, n... no matter how bad I might've hurt...

Geez, I'm crying again, I'll try not to let you get ripped though.
But yeah. It took three years living in the wild to realize I'd
done something so... horrible. And you'd think that'd be
when I went home, all lesson learned and stuff, but I...
come on. I'm not brave.
All I did was keep moving around another few years,
except this time I wasfeeling sick again.
Crying when I wasn't feeling like some
lifeless husk of a Kia, and I... I was in a bad place. About
as bad as when I'd left in the first place, but... hey. When
you hit that hard a rock bottom, it just means you can only
go up.

I found Jean, first. It was an accident weirdly enough, he'd
wound up moving to one of the cities I was bumming around
for a while, and just... in a crowd, can you believe it? It didn't
seem real at first, but there's only one other Kia out there with
hair and teeth like that. And I, in all my infinite wisdom...
just followed him around like a creepy weirdo for a few hours
before I got the guts to actually go talk to him. And he...
was incredibly angry. Just at first, and then he-- both of us,
really-- started sobbing like mad. He told me... god, I still
feel sick thinking about this, they'd thought I was dead.
Kidnapped or... something else awful like that, and there I was
going in and saying I'd just run off. But I was alive, and...
Yeah. He let me stay with him, get cleaned up some because
it had been a while and... well, I... I had to own up to
mom and dad.

I'll write that story down tomorrow, but short version?
Take how Jean reacted, magnify it by ten. (And mom re-married.
A couple times.) And I can't say mom and I got off to the best start,
I kind of... might've really laid into her about how I felt when I
ran, and that it might've been selfish but there was way more
behind that. ... we... still aren't really talking, but the effort's being made.
Dad and I are on fine now. Same with Jean, I actually just put my first
payment down on the apartment next to his! And I booked an appointment
with a therapist, I mean... look, you don't react to a divorce by spending most
of a decade in the wild without there being something else going on, right?
I put... myself through hell. And my family. But I've got them again, and
I won't let them go again, not like that, I'm finding better ways.
Art and junk. Turns out there's a whole form dedicated to
smashing things up and making something pretty out of the
pieces... sounds kinda familiar, huh?

Anyway. I'll talk to you soon-- I mean it this time.
~Val
┗----------------------------------------------------┛

☾ don'т тeѕт тнe oneѕ yoυ love ☽
☾ ιт'll only тear υѕ down ☽
☾ ιғ yoυ wanт тo ғeel alιve ☽
☾ тнen learn тo love yoυr groυnd ☽

☀ love yoυr groυnd ☀

Lyrics from 'Sister', by Mumford and Sons; which inspired a great deal of Valiant's character/these entries.

[booklover789]

[center] ηαмє:
Eleanor
(Nicknamed "Ellie")

gєη∂єя:
Female

נσυяηαℓ єηтяу #1:

Don't you disrespect me little man.
Don't you derogate or deride!
You're in my world now, not your world.
And I got friends on the other side.

[PFDC]

If the images don't work heres a screen shot of the form

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[carmineflyer]

{

Dear Diary...
I'm Beethoven. I guess this is my diary now? I'm fairly sure my mother wanted a girl, she's been making me more feminine since the day I was born, though I keep telling her that I'm male, not female. Get it through you head mom. Why can't she just throw all this "love" at my brother?

Today was my first day of school, and I was so excited! Mom told me everyone would be very impressed by how smart I was. My brother can't play the piano. Maybe that's what makes me smart. I hope there's other smart kids that can play the piano. My mother gave me a feather for good luck too. She says most kids don't have feathers at this age, but I'm specal special. Mom says so. She said that too when my stuped stopid mean brother chipped my right tooth while tussling. I was crying, and I ran to her, and she told me it just made me more special.
But Mom tied the feather like a necklace, and she told me "Have fun and good luck." I told her I would. But now that was lying, and I hate lying to Mom. I did that once, when I took a cookie from the cookie jar without asking. She wasn't happy with me, and I promised I wouldn't lie again. But now I've broken that promise too...
I went in and greeted the teacher like Mom told me I should. She smiled at me, and I smiled back, and she took me to my seat. This room was colorful, and had the ABC's, but I learned that back in kindergarden kindergarten. I hope everyone else did too. Then we won't have to go over it again. That's practicing, or maybe reviewing, and I don't like either of those, but Mom makes me do it with the piano.
I noticed the boy across from me then, and he was staring at me. I felt ashamed, I thought I might have forgotten to greet him or something, and it isn't good to forget things. So I said to him: "Hello! I'm Beethoven! What is your name and how are you doing?"
And he kept staring at me, and I started thinking, because maybe I mixed up something in the greeting. That happened once, but they just laughed, and greeted me back. Maybe this boy does not know how to say hello? I was trying to find another way to learn about my tablemate, when he lifted a figure and pointed at me. I was going to be startled, but then he started laughing, laughing so hard he fell out of his chair. "Beethoven? Beethoven? That's an old person name! And whats with your hair? Did someone stick bubblegum in it? You look like a girl! And those buckteeth there... What's up Doc?"
I frowned, I didn't think that girls looked bad or anything. And wasn't it rude to say otherwise? "No, I don't like bubblegum. And I am not old, I am just in first grade."
And he kept laughing, and laughing, and then everyone was laughing, and I yelled at them to stop, and they didn't stop. I wanted to hit them, but I hit my brother once, and Mom wasn't happy, so I didn't hit anyone again. The whole day, laughing, laughing. "Beethovens an old person! And he's got bubblegum in his hair!"
I wanted to hit them even harder at the end of the day, when someone actually did stick bubblegum in my hair. But I didn't, and I didn't tell Mom, because I had lied to her about promising to have a good day. The teacher told me she could phone home, but I told her not too, so Mom wouldn't know that I lied.
And now I'm writing all that happened on this stupid "pink" notebook, and I'm throwing it under the bed and telling to monsters to eat it. She'll never know that I lied.

{

Dear Diary...
Wow, I haven't used this in so long. Found it under my bed when I was cleaning up my room to move out. Mom worries, I know, but truthfully, I can't wait to be free of her. There's only so much pink nail polish I can take. The first entry here... Wow, all the way back in first grade. God, my handwriting was horrible then. Though I must say, my grammar is fairly good for a first grader. As my mom would say; "I expect nothing less from a child prodigy like you."
But still, look at that story! I can't believe I was so afraid back then of lying, doing anything bad. I still play piano and all -why would I give up that?- but, to fit in... I'm so ashamed now, of what I did. If I could change anything, I would change what I did to get out of the situation I was in.
It wasn't in school directly, no. I was a perfect student there, acing my tests, studying hard, excelling in the musical department.
But outside of school... I was a monster. The kid that had picked on me? I turned the class against him, slowly. I spread rumors, I spooked him as he walked home, while the other kids watched and laughed... He sank so far behind, lost all his friends... I was liked, and he was hated and teased. I thought I had gotten revenge.
But one day... One day he didn't come to school. He used to play a trumpet in the orchestra, and, I'll admit, was darn good at it too.
The next day...
And the next...
All missing. He wasn't anywhere.
Today, I saw him in the neighborhood. He was in an alleyway, crying, and when he saw me, he ran, terror and anger fueling his step. I want to say I tried to stop him. I want to say I ran after him, until I could tell him just how sorry I was, that I knew things had gone wrong...
He's going to be reported missing, and its my fault. Perhaps I could rationalize that it was many things, I heard he came from a divorced family, lots of issues there, he had struggled with school work long before I had started my sabotage, and he had attention issues in class even back then.
We were supposed to graduate today. Well, all except for one student, who came from some of the smartest people in town....
Everyone else did. I threw my hat into the air like everyone else. But, when I stepped on up to the stage, there was no triumph. There should have been one more person in that crowd, and because of me, he isn't there anymore.
I wish I could fantasize that I am going to leave to find him. It would make me more heroic then I wish I could be. But no, all that I am leaving to do is go to a musical school, learn to be a pianist. Maybe I'll take this frilly pink notebook with me. It shows me that just one hurt, one revenge, will go a long way.
This is a new school, and perhaps it will be like that first day oh so long ago. But this time, I'm not lashing out. I don't want to bully someone, break someone... I don't want to be the villain in this game.
I don't want to bully someone, break someone...

I won't be the villain in this game.