dear crush...
First of all, I hope you can read my handwriting. Second of all, I think your eyes are just fantastic.
I've often wondered if you have ever noticed me; it must be rather hard not to, I fancy, what with my stunning good looks and irresistible charm, as well as my tendency to use certain overused phrases, such as "stunning good looks" and "irresistible charm". Not to mention my less-than-stellar sense of humor.
Anyways, linguistic contortions aside, I must confess that I am rather a romantic at heart, and so I have decided to behave as the age-old lovers did and pen a romantic letter to confess my attraction to you. From the minute I saw you, across the floor in the mall where I was shopping for an engagement ring, I was deeply smitten. I immediately, with characteristic bluntness, dumped my fiancé and set off to win your heart. Although it was rather an awkward moment, I endured it for love of you, and of course the fact that I had already done the same to a few other lovely girls helped as well.
Every evening, I think of you and your smile, and the way you looked when I first saw you; you looked the way a fresh chocolate melts on the tongue. Evening is my favorite time of day, naturally; I dream of lounging with you on a back porch in some country farmhouse somewhere and counting fireflies. If you were mine, I would fly over the ocean with you and spend a day in Paris, the city of love. We shall navigate the brutal pollution and raging protestor crowds in order to be together. Paris is my favorite city.
Because chocolates are the trademark of Valentine's Day and because they are my favorite food, I enclose a package for you. Chocolate reminds me of you, in fact; sensual, sweet, and altogether lovely.
My dear, I know I have not been the most faithful of lovers in the past, but I feel that you are different somehow. I also realize that I have used the same line for almost every girl I've dated, but I'd just like to say that for you, I really mean it. As for breaking the technological barrier, please do feel compelled to phone me, since after reading this charming letter I'm quite certain that you will fall head-over-heels for me and want to meet me in person.
Yours, as always,
Candycane
xoxo
x (214)-221-4311
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