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I believe music is a way of connection.
It's not language, but can convey emotion through purely sound.
I think music keeps us all together, it's what makes us a community.
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The outer coat_____________________________________________________________________Birthday :: 16th February 1982 at 23:56
Blood type :: AB negative
Zodiac sign :: Aquarius
Ruling planet :: Saturn and Uranium
Moon :: Waxing crescent
Chinese zodiac :: Year of the Dog
Favorite food :: Almond pudding
Least favorite food :: Apples
Favorite game :: Hide and seek
Current Occupation :: Wandering musician and composer
Ambition :: To be accepted for who I am
My Name ...
“A word or a combination of words by which a person, place, or thing, a body or class, or any object of thought is designated, called, or known” – Dictionary.comDoes every name have to have a meaning? My name is Sithis, and until someone makes something up, 'Sithis' has no meaning. A name is just something we're called by and is given to us before we develop a personality. If you're not what your name suggests you are, then aren't you lying?
Sithis is good. No meaning. No burden. No reason.
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I was raised on classical music, but I don't understand.
If Classical music is not composed to inflict emotion; then what is its purpose?
My parents said it was a glimpse of perfection.
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History__________________________________________________________________________________I remember standing under the sun, its warmth comforting me and its light guiding me. It was so bright and sung of joy. In the years of my childhood, we played under the sunlight, catching leaves and learnt that nothing could stop us. We believed the light was protecting us from the cold, and soon we thought it protected us from danger. We could see it all in the light; all our enemies and the world which was ready to harm us.
I was adopted into the 'family'; they made that clear from the beginning. That's why I took to calling my 'siblings' as 'friends' and my 'parents' as 'sir' and 'ma’am'. I asked them why my family abandoned me. They said:
“Your coat, Sithis, stained with purple like that of poison. It means you're a curse”
“Then...why?"“Yellow eyes, Sithis, yellow and bright as the sun; that which we believe in. Your eyes can only see the truth in great clarity. They show that you are a child born of light; born to fight the dark”
"Why am I alone?""You're not alone, you're with the light"
So under the light I played, and under the light I dreamt. I am a fool to believe the light.
Fear was the timber. The adults wouldn't accept it, but as my coat fully grew and the markings clear, there was no light, only darkness and cruel bitterness; cursed.
"I'm sorry" someone said.
"Please...I don't want to be alone"Because light is the cause of shadows.
Jealousy was the spark. My 'friends' showed the first signs as their eyes casted towards me in fear. As the adults wavered over me in concern, fear changed to envy. Soon they turned to each other, leaving me out as the outcast, as one who did not deserve their concern.
At first I tried, I really did, I tried to regain their friendship, their concern, their acceptance, however, it all ended in vain.
"Everyone, let’s play!"“Go away Sithis, we don’t need you”“Yeah, you can have all the attention you want from the adults, we’re not here for you”
"What are you talking about? I don’t need attention fromt the adults!"I tried to laugh it off, but with every attempt, I was hated more and more...
Then hatred lit the flame. I sensed the distance that grew between us and as solitude and sorrow caved in, I ran. They say that when you're lost, just follow the light. I don’t understand, what did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong? I didn’t want to see the obvious truth, I didn’t want to recognise that there was nothing wrong with me, because if there was, then at least I can improve. I didn’t want to realise that the only reason I’m hated was because of the attention I get from adults. Because I’m Sithis, the child of light. Because I’m not part of the family. Because I don’t have anything. And most painful of all, because my presence was ruining everything.
So through the rain I ran, chasing that light which waited for me beyond the horizon. Rain was a good thing; it brought life to the earth despite coming from the sky.
If water remains itself after falling from the sky,
why is my heart so shattered although I'm stuck on the ground?
There was a cliff, a sudden deadly drop; hidden by the cloak of rain, and I was blinded by the strength of light.
I fell into darkness. And that was the first time I died.
A stream saved my life, but not without a cost. For days I spent drowned in its cruel and cold embrace, on land and yet underwater. I succumbed to darkness, the tall cliff overlooking the lake blocking out light until late evening where then it would shine over my weakened body in mockery of my belief, like a master chuckling at his subordinate's imprudence. Between the realm of conscious and thought, a chill shot through my heart on wings of stabbing anger, over and over again. The light had deceived me. It had called me towards doom, it wanted me to fall.
Strange isn't it, that only in complete darkness am I able to see the truth that has always been hidden by the light. Only in darkness can I see without using my eyes but my heart to determine what lied within. But darkness was not my refuge, for even then was I blinded by the anger that consumed my mind.
Light is deceptive whilst darkness is cruel.
"Sithis!" a voice sounded in the darkness. My family? Were they here to save me? Are they acting like we're a perfect family again?
"Come back into the light Sithis, come back and join us" they said.
"Shadows, I-I need...shadows"I could no longer stand under the sunlight, its deception too cruel for me to forgive. Slowly but steadily, I moved into the shadows; warmth in shadows, truth in darkness. Shadows cannot lie; for they are cast behind every truth. Shadows cannot blind you, for they can only trail behind you.
When I had healed properly, I was called out to play by my friends. I missed the childish laughter and playful giggles, but when I saw them in the light, I also saw their shadows treading long after them. They were faking it; these laughter, these smiles. So what do you do when you can see it now so clearly?
Smile.
"What's wrong?"
"N-nothing"That was the first time I betrayed my heart; the second time I died.
If rain can bind together earth and sky, can I be a shadow which binds together light and void,
whom otherwise in all eternity can never touch?
Of course they eventually found out about my hatred towards the light. The smiles I faked no longer fooled them and the laughter I made was bitter and cruel. Then things started to return to normal; with the constant glares and whispered taunts. Conversations that hushed when I walked near, and hidden frowns that showed through the faked smiles.
This entire world I'm living, is a deception in itself.
"Freak" a friend hissed, his eyes narrowing then he turned and ran back to his parents, leaving me under the shade of a tree.
"What's wrong?" my 'dad' asked, trotting over casually but I saw the fear and hatred that shone in his eyes. He kept his distance, and I couldn't tell him how much I longed for his gentle touch right now, how much I needed his company. Instead, I turned away and said:
"I'm just not your son anymore"Maybe that was the water which put out the fire. I realized I no longer had a place to call home. They could not take me for what I've become; who I truly am. They still walk under the sunlight whilst I walk amidst the shadows.
"Do not give in to the darkness; only in light will you be home"
"Light will only deceive me, I don't want to fall"But over and over again I was scolded, forced to be active, to be happy and social like the rest of us; forced to be someone I am not. Why can't they accept that I'm not who I was?!
"The light is where you stand. Do not let darkness take you"
"Are you listening to me?""You may think darkness is protecting you, but you know that it's a double edged sword"
"Why can't you understand? Why can't you see the illusion, and the deception that which is light?""Stay with us, in light is where you belong. That is a fact"
What is a fact? Is it fixed, does it vary…is it true? Is it simply a matter of perspective?
"Do not fall into the shadows; for you are the child of light, your eyes are proof of that"
"Why you accept me?! Why can't you just accept the fact that I'm not of light but of shadows?! Why can't you see that light has already forsaken me?"I hated my yellow eyes. I turned to trust the night where it is too dark to see with my eyes. And for the first time, I felt so betrayed my heart cried as if it had been shattered ito a million pieces and yet deep inside, I knew I was the betrayer. I betrayed myself to gain the trust of my family. I betrayed my family to remain myself. My heart forced me to choose. What did I want? Who will I betray? Which path will I walk?
But I guess it was a decision I had came to a long time ago.
I would rather see myself in a mirror than live with a stranger claiming to be me.
"I'm sorry" I heard the words leave my mouth as I stood there, tail between my legs. They looked at me, confused.
"Why?"
"I can't change. I want to be alone"I left my family; those closest to me who can't live with the dragon they called their 'son'. However, I won't give up. I will stand my ground. I will not give in to the light.
And it is within the shadows that I see my path; even if by doing so I went through the sequence of death once again.
So how do you join a band when you've got nothing? No basics, no headphones, no cool rings and bling stuff.
Easy. You don't.
I live with what I have, I wander when I have to, with a floor tom and a pair of drumsticks. Afterall, that's all you need to satisfy your customers.
Maybe that was when I met the fireflies, flying about tithe rhythm of my drum, blending in with the stars. I followed them as they followed me. Fireflies don't lie, and fireflies aren't cruel. They were good listeners. I found myself seeking solace with them. I thought maybe, they were all the acceptance I needed, maybe...I was no longer alone.
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Through Romantic pieces, it you can tell stories, you can inflict emotion.
I believe it was the start of musical connection.
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Personality_____________________________________________________________________________Edgy :: Because from height, everything is seen in clarity. If light, that which is above all else, is deceptive then how can anything be trusted but myself?
Anti-social :: Because when I left my family, all my friends also casted me away. I don't want to go through that pain over again, not even once. That is why I would rather be on my own.
Still :: Because I'd rather be truthful than show a fake smile or forced compassion. I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for what I pretend to be.
Precise :: Because drumming is all about precision. One wrong rhythm can lead to a chaotic melody. It's kind of like life; one wrong step can lead you to a different life altogether.
Cold :: Because everyone else is coldhearted, and the only way to talk to them with reason is to become coldhearted myself. But it doesn’t mean I have to be unkind.
Nocturnal :: Because light is deceptive, and darkness is cruel, I come out at night when the light of the stars can't overcome the darkness of night yet the coldness of the void can't overcome the remnants of warmth from the sun.
Hopeful :: Because I have been in embrace of death; that which is one's greatest fear and yet miracle kept me alive although I felt like I have died three times over. As miracles only happen once, it was hope that kept me alive.
Absentminded :: Because music brings you into a state of euphoria; and rock music brings you all kind of emotions. There is no way a musician won't lose himself in his own music; otherwise that piece cannot be called 'music'.
Reckless :: Because when you have nothing to lose; you take all risks in hope of that one success.
Untrusting :: Because I live as an entertainer, I am exposed to a society where they are satisfied with living a lie. So how can I trust anyone who can even deceive themself?
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Pop music is everchanging. When did Country become popular? When did Jazz conquer the top list?
Pop music symbolises the changes to the community over time.
It is also a symbol of hope, that any style of music could rise to the top.
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Likes
Rain and shadow :: They bind together things which seem
impossible to ever join.
Music, rock music :: It is different to other genres,
it can be used to convey any and all emotions,
at the same time, within one piece.
Fireflies and stars :: A light so gentle in the darkness that
they only light up part of the world, and so thus opens
his eyes fully without deceiving them.
Light :: Without light, there would be no shadows ...
Darkness :: ... and shadows are a part of darkness.
DislikesLight :: Light is deceptive
Darkness :: Darkness is cruel
Eyes :: They tell you what to see, without giving you a moment to doubt what is actually there.
Friendship :: Loneliness is the worst kind of pain, but you would not feel the extent of it unless you know what it is like to feel friendship.
Lies :: They only bring pain in the end. Lies are the starting point of betrayal- of fear, confusion and in the end pain. So don't lie! Don't deceive others, and don't betray yourself.
Hobbies
Stargazing
Composing
Drumming
Reading
Greatest FearFalling. I don't mean the 'hitting the ground' part, I mean the falling part. I've been through that dread, I don't wish to feel it again. That horror knowing that you are about to die; that loneliness as you fall alone. And worst of all is that regret and guilt that suddenly bombards you, and suddenly, even if you mean to fall, you want to live despite knowing that no one can save you anymore.
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Rock music might become pop music one day, but I enjoy it nonetheless.
It comes in so many different forms; each with their own way of conveying feelings.
And that range of emotions is so vast that I feel rock music can show me all emotions I have yet to enjoy and endure.
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PhantomNight says..._____________________________________________________________________________To me, Sithis is a one of a kind bean, his shades, pattern and design is absolutely stunning, not to mention that gleam in his eyes which seemed so sly and yet somewhat sad. His background story came naturally to me as so did his personality. When I look back at him now, I was almost frightened of him, but also in awe. I feel that there's still so much I want to do with him, so much that can't be contained in this form, drawings, animations, sculptures, role play. Sithis is a bean I have fallen for.

Accessories
Key :: Sithis has locked away his heart in order to maintain his coldness. He doesn't want to trust anyone so easily, and the key will keep his heart hidden away, or at least for now.
Scarf:: It is a reminder that he is a wanderer. It shields him from the cold, helping him move on, fight on until he can finally find acceptance.
Drumsticks:: As a drummer, it reminds him of his ambition. He will continue to express himself through his music, because that's all he could do without being hated.
Quill and paper:: A composer should be able to find inspiration from anything, that's what he believes in. And so he will pursue his career, keeping these tools with him always.
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If rock music holds a vast range of emotions.
Then as a composer of rock, am the creator of emotions?
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I would like to say thank you to Peace&Colby for her wonderful art of Sithis; Opposite and also thank you for helping me with the layout coding and giving me ideas on many things.
Link to original versions of my art can be found via these links:
I do not own any of the music named above; they belong to their respective artists/bands. The videos are of their respective uploaders. The mix was created using an app for iOS and android devices; 'edjing'