by 0009 » Thu Jan 02, 2020 9:47 am
username: 0009
kalon # 1681
name: milk
what is something you're proud of yourself for accomplishing in 2019?:
if i were to describe 2019 with the use of an object i think i would go with ‘ice’. it began somewhat cold and unwelcoming— i felt as if my senses were numbed and i began falling for false idols that i knew were shams that i created in my head. i was clinging onto a few but treasured features of my life that gave me some warmth, however i allowed my mentality to remain relatively unstable. there were people there, who supported me, and to them i am thankful but i chose to distance myself emotionally as i wandered for a sense of purpose and belonging. i some of the months i turned to this site for comfort and expressed my discomfort through words— in other times i found more superficial ways to satisfy myself. i was plagued with the normal humdrum inconveniences of youth: apathy and self negligence. and you know what? it’s normal. i’ve accepted it as such, grit my teeth, and started to let the ice of the year melt. i began closing barriers and started reaching out to more people, i began participating in activities, and i continued to reflect on the past/my current actions for the feeling of movement and for the sake of action. i will not allow the sombre state of mind of my present steal anymore of my future and disappoint my past self. i have found solace in new connections, i am beginning to believe in the prospect of a future, and most of all i have begun the slow and steady path of being able to love myself. my entry lacks any specific accomplishments, but in truth i have always placed more value in the abstract. keep growing, 0009. you have quite a journey ahead of you.
username: 0009
kalon # 1682
name: fanheuse
what is something you want to do in 2020?:
many things. the question has the word ‘something’, which isn’t plural, so i suppose i will have to focus on one activity. i want to be able to pursue my higher education and make myself a more eligible candidate in order to make that possible. i am a person who tends to lack direction in matters that coincide with reality, so to have a path that i wish to pursue in a specific field is important to me. i wish to pursue this goal in order to grow myself as a person, which is the side result of what most goals should be all about. to add to this, i want to be able to grow alongside my partner who has been an inspiration for me to think about the field i wish to pursue. ‘i will become strong’ is a phrase i wish to believe in with full conviction, and i think that encouraging myself to traverse this path will only be beneficial to me.
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have a wonderful new year full of growth and prosperity, everyone.
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writing -
i will not be engaging in any site activity apart from my writing
my mental health is not and has not been in a good state for a long time and i
am unable to keep up with social interactions. i hope you understand