Username: TheUnsinkableShips
Show Name: The Hardest Part
Barn Name: Eunie (from word Eunoia meaning well mind or beautiful thinking)
Gender: Mare
Age: 24
Height: 16.3
Halter: Brown Leather
Discipline: Lesson Horse/Therapy Horse/Owner's Favorite
Link to Trailer Park Entry: xXxStory: The facilitator takes me around the stable, thanking me profusely for offering my help. I respond that anyone would do the same, and we arrive upon a branch of the stables further from the entrance.
It smells, just like any other part of this god-forsaken place, and whimpers and cries come from inside. The woman leading me stops, and begins to panic, prying open the door frantically, and I can only help as she rambles on, tears beginning to fall.
'We hadn't been here earlier, we didn't think- we've been so focused on the main barn- and-" The door falls open, and we both file in, terrified at the prospect of more abandoned equines, forgotten in the initial panic of the main barn. The wood is ancient and forgotten, almost as if we hadn't been the first to forget this barn existed, and peels away, leaving splintered corners. I hiss as I nick my thumb on a corner, and pull on the gloves offered to me.
We waste no more time and make out way down the aisle, panicking at the sight of more emaciated horses scattered throughout the stalls.
The whining and whimpering has not stopped, my partner has already called for backup and assistance, and I continue down the aisle, eyes stinging with unshed tears.
When i reach the end, I am afraid to look in. It is now clear that the gentle nickers and pained whinny's are coming from this stall, and when I look in, my hearts stops.
It is a mare and foal lying on the mucky ground, coats dirtied beyond recognition.
One is moving. The other is not.
The tears fall.
I panic, and begin to peel the panels back.
They fall like petals on a dying flower, I crawl in, no regard for anything other than the mare who is gentle nosing her foal. I cradle her own head, whispering softly.
There is chatter in the background, panic as the panel is removed correctly and the edges are covered in soft padding.
"Try to get her to come out. Is the foal..." The other woman doesn't finish her sentence, casting a gaze at the small paint on the ground. I nod, because it's painfully obvious there's no hope, and she chokes out an affirmative nod. "The mare, then. Help her. She'll need it."
I nod. I'm not quite sure what else to do. The mare won't budge, and as a few other people enter to remove the foal, the mare snaps, and bites. I pull back my arms from around her head in momentary fear.
"After." I say to them, and they gaze at me. "I'll get her out, I promise."
I don't know how I'll keep that promise.
I resolve to sit with her, gently stroking her ear and skittering my fingers down her neck. She keens into the touch, but never strays too far from her foal. I don't know what to do, I just
don't.
In a fit of pain and sadness, I sing, a song I know the words to, for the most part, a gentle piano tune that erupts from my heart in a flurry.
"In every heart, there is a home, a sanctuary, safe and strong," It's a song that fills my heart with sadness. The tears fall quicker, and I sway her head, still cradled in my arm, gently to the rhythm of the song.
"to heal the wounds from lovers past until a new one comes along," I sigh into the song, running my fingers through her mane. Her eyes seem to flicker shut as she shoves into my touch. I continue through the song, reaching the chorus, tears falling from my eyes and onto the mare's matted fur.
"And every time I've held a rose, it seems I only felt the thorns. And so it goes, and so it goes."but if my silence made you leave, then that would be my worst mistake, so I will share this room with you, and you can have this heart to break.""And this is why my eyes are closed, it's just as well for all I've seen" Words fail me as I struggle to remember the lyrics, but it's the next lines I can remember that matter the most to me, as I struggle with this situation.
"So I would choose to be with you, that's if the choice were mine to make, but you can make decisions too, and you can have this heart to break." My voices cracks on the last word from choked sobs that I hold back, and even though the mare cannot understand what I'm saying, my emotions transfer through all languages, and she nudges into me, gently moving to rest on her knees.
It is clear I am as affected to be here, surrounded by horses that could need my help, crying from the ones I couldn't save, and breaking down at the sight of a life lost so young, as this mare, who has been the victim.
"And so it goes, and so it goes, and you're the only one that knows."With the last lines of the song finishing up, we lean into each other and pull ourselves up, me leaning into her neck and mane and crying, as she wraps her neck around me instead.
We leave, a halter slipped cautiously over her head, together.
What lies head, I am unsure, but for now, I am here for this mare, who has suffered a loss so great that a soothing song is only the beginning to heal the rift in her heart.
She is broken, but so am I from the dark scene of the stable, from the terrors I've witnessed in just the past 24 hours.
For now, we will be with each other, and that is enough.
A gentle breeze wraps around the two of us, carrying a fresh scent, free from the stench of the stables. Her mane whips in my face.
"Think beautiful thoughts." I say outloud to the wind and grass. I turn to look at the mare, and offer her a gentle close lipped smile. "That's all we gotta do, girl."
I run my fingers through her mane once more.
'And so it goes...'(1,044 Words)
