[crashkeys]

oooh mark <3

[basil!]

mark!

-conspiracy theorist
-half robot
-existential crisis/ am I human if I have robot parts etc.
-puzzle?

[messenger]

pulling out unfortunately ;w;
Early congrats to the winner of this wonderful bab<3

[! ‎]

　　 dropping out, best of luck to those entering!

[NaCl]

"I'm the one who is going to stop him"

[Corey Taylor]

name: Kaoru
gender: male
interests: caves, creeks, space, demons, car rides, insects
songs: Radio/Video -System Of A Down, Tongue Tied -Grouplove, Shoots and Ladders -Korn, Party with the Devil -Attila, Hope -Jack Stauber, It's Not Over -Chris Daughtry.
sketches/drawings: him and an Ouija board, with a bat(animal), listening to music, looking at the stars.

wip!!

Edit: May not get to the drawings as I'm taking care of my new kitten I rescued, but I would love to still be entered for chance to win this baby!

[SilentMelody]

silentmelody
mark!!

[lovestruck]

jasper
super into rock music + wants to start his own band perhaps?

[kipin]

marky

[wishbone!]

I think I've lost it.

Not the integrity of my mind, or my feelings. Something slightly more intangible than that. Intangible because it wasn't there in the first place and I'm realizing now that this was all just a hoax to make me feel like I was trying to do something meaningful in a trap set up to let me fail over and over. My will to keep up a facade I had never planned on maintaining in the first place has come to its end.

And now, seeing that I have physically misplaced myself time and time again until I've reached this point of isolation, I feel very comfortable in the statement that I no longer have any integrity towards false goals. The manifestation of substantial reality is finally prominent amongst all the grime I've tried smearing over it for years. This is the only thing that's true.

Me. This vessel. And everything out there.

Which is to say, the everlasting void that peers into my windows every hour of the day as it waits for me to finally secede and submit myself to its encompassing expanse of everything I have ever known in this life.

Very funny space, but not right now. Right now I've finally got time to think and you're gonna let me. What else are you going to do? Creep into my dreams and try to snatch me from my subconsciousness? You don't even have hands. (Because you are a vacuum filled with nothing and yet somehow everything at the same time. My hands are your hands. You are only here through me. You can't steal me because I'm already here with you. We're right next to each other but I still have a need for personal space [Paradox, it's all the same thing. Where'd I learn these distinctions? Also, haha, 'space.']).

I can't think about how long I've been out here because I don't remember and trying to recall makes me a little bit sad. Sad that I let myself come along in the first place, sad I can't patch this one up, sad I am alone. Everyone else just kinda... poofed.

It's given me some time to decide what's really important. Forced me to take some lessons. The circumstance is a complete anomaly to anything we've ever been able to identify but it's happening and I'm the only one that can process it right now so, I have to. That's my new job; analyze, process, assess. Same thing as before, different application.

I wonder what my soul looks like. There's no way to crack that open with a screwdriver and prob around until something sparks. (That would be a very unprofessional way of going about it. I'm much more cautious than that. Wires and intricacies that are unknown to others, but I know what's happening. Or, I know what I've been taught to know.)

Have I ever had an original thought?

Well, this must be original. Who would've ever thought of this? No one else in the whole wide world (I'm not on a planet, does it still count?) has ever gone through this before. Have you - sorry, is 'you' too formal? - been isolated to a space-faring vessel within a space-faring vessel? I bet your brain hasn't rifled through this scenario. And that's because it's all unfolding with me and me only.

I think being lost is reasonable right now. When faced with entirely new probabilities unexplored by anything else, the essentials are all that matter. What can be perceived is fallible and I cannot be fallible.

Error is... a limitation that cannot be recognized at this point. This is not wrong, nor is it right; it's all just happening. Acting with the most genuine of truth. Baseless. I am the new standard. The standard is nothing. I've lost everything and somehow, is this medley of sensation, that doesn't matter. Not the slightest bit.

This is living. The basics. What exists before imprinting. No program to follow. No protocols to adhere to.

Consciousness that belongs somewhere adjacent to perception.

I am here. Here there is the absolute truth of nothing.

What could there possibly be to lose?