by VoidRinkusu » Thu Mar 21, 2019 10:32 am
username: VoidRinkusu
name: Shiloh
gender: Female
thought process: (881/1000)
I finally understood. Staying in the present moment isn't about pausing your thought process and forcing yourself to observe your surroundings. It's just not thinking about the future, the past, “what if”s, or alternate realities. It’s about seeing with your eyes, not your mind. It's hard to get used to, difficult to maintain, but the rest gets easier from this starting point.
Once I realized this truth, I wanted to see how it felt.
I went down to the river and lay down in the grass before the reeds. It took some fidgeting before I was comfortable but the late summer brought smooth grass and the river made soft earth. The sun hung low in the skies which were clear except for a few small clouds. They looked like stretched out cotton, wispy brush strokes on a canvas of blue. My thoughts flitted to going home once I was done. I realized this a moment later and refocused on the world around me. I could only see glimmers of the river behind the reeds, but I could hear its gentle trickle as it spilled over the rocks at its bank. It was a slow and gentle sound with a steady rhythm that could easily lull you to sleep. I worried momentarily about what would happen if I really did fall asleep but waved the thought away. It was warm enough that I would be alright. Either way, I was calm, not tired; and planned on staying awake. A distant rumble could be heard and I turned my head to see an airplane cross a corner of the sky. It was far off and looked small in perspective. An almost cute little figure etching a line into the sky. Its tail grew more faded as it went on until it dissipated into the horizon. I wondered where it might be heading. I heard a low call and turned my head to face it, blades of grass were no doubt getting tangled into my hair. I waited to hear it again and my heart skipped a beat when I did, it was as if my entire being was being as quiet as possible, trying to absorb as much of the sound as I could. It was a beautiful, solemn howl of a noise that was carried by the water. A loon call. The bird continued its elegant song and was met by a reply farther off. Back and forth they went with a small pause between each. I closed my eyes to hone in on the sounds. Just then, a breeze passed by, rustling the reeds in a gentle whisper. It wove through my hair and was refreshing but warm. I smiled genuinely in my comfort. A small chirr sounded somewhere across the river. It repeated on it’s lonesome for some time, then was joined by more. Soon, a whole chorus of crickets filled the air. I opened my eyes again to see that the sun had nearly set. Its tip hung over the horizon and turned the sky purple, staining the few clouds orange and pink. I redirected my gaze so as not to stare right into it. The world around me was painted gold. The grass waved like a glowing river stirred by the tides of wind and the reeds were illuminated at their fringes. The colors around me slowly drained as the sun continued to sink. The clouds turned purple with orange lining and the sky became a dark red. I thought I was seeing things at first, but I was reassured of my eyes as more stars shone throughout the colorful sky. The galaxy was slowly painted in the heavens above me as its surroundings faded to black. As the stars became visible, I closed one eye and traced the constellations with my paw. Some that I recognized as actual constellations, some that I made up. One group looked like a goat carrying a sword in its mouth, running to some destination on the other side of the universe. I smiled. A noble warrior on his own little quest. I could see clouds of stars and planets in a ribbon above me, the galaxies felt close and tangible, like everything was just the right size. Big enough to be a mystery, yet small enough to be familiar and comforting. The moon’s shining crescent rose at the edge of the sky and I realized how late it was getting. With a sigh, I got into a sitting position then on to my feet. I began walking away from the utopia before me but looked back at it longingly. Oh, how I wished I could stay there. To sleep at the riverside with nature’s soundtrack to keep me company. To drift into sleep like the clouds that hung around me. It wouldn’t get much colder and there had been no reports of wolves this close to the town. I pivoted to face the beckoning grass. There was no reason for me to leave. With a gentle and true joy, I settled myself in the warm grass and stretched my arms before tucking them beneath my head. I closed my eyes and my surroundings dissolved as I drifted off into a peaceful slumber, the reeds nearby playing me their soothing song.
Last edited by
VoidRinkusu on Mon Apr 01, 2019 11:16 am, edited 4 times in total.