Username: SilhouetteStation
Partners form: going solo
Kal: Kalarissa / Euraline (both)
New Name: Clarisse & Mei
-ClarisseBeing in care at a young age, you're not really aware of what's going on. You know you live in a big house with a lot of other children – some are older, some are younger – and maybe you're not quite sure why you're there, but you are, so that's that. Kids come and go, and you don't really understand until it happens to you. Like it happened to me. One moment I'm in care and then I'm being carted off by some couple to live in their house. And suddenly, a few weeks later, I have a sister.
I was the older one, mind you, but it still didn't mean I knew where she'd come from. I didn't even know where
I'd come from, let alone how I'd ended up living with these people. Where were the girls I shared a room with? The lady who put golden syrup in our porridge every morning? The boy who shoved crayons up his nose? I wondered for a little while and then I eventually forgot, as children do. I'd remember things years later, but for now, my childhood was now my parents, and my baby sister.
Now and again, she whined when she didn't get what she wanted. She could be a right moody cow when she was in a bad mood. I remembered words like 'settling' and 'adjusting' being thrown around. Sometimes I'd just stare at her, wondering why she was so loud. I think I shoved her face into a bowl of cereal at some point. Oh well. I was the oldest by two years. I felt I had that privilege.
Our birthday's were close together, only a week apart, and so our parents celebrated by having a joint party in the middle. Maybe they hoped it would help us to bond. Maybe it helped them save on party favors. I'll admit, it was quite fun sharing that moment with her, and counting down to blow out our candles. Our parents always went out of their way to try and bake us the best cake they could, what with their limited decorating expertise, but in all of the old photos they look tasty. There's one picture of us with our birthday cake – Mei was four, I was six – where she's scooped a massive chunk of cake out, there's frosting all over her face, and I'm giving her the dirtiest look possible. I probably shoved her head into that too afterwards.
Ah, sisterly love. You can't beat it. (421/500)
-MeiI think growing up, I somewhat idolized Clarisse in that
'wow look how cool my big sister is' way. Even if, yes, she did shove my head into a few things. Nowadays, I find that quite funny. It's made for a few stellar photos in the album.
I learnt to walk properly by following her around, stumbling a lot as I did so, but determined to keep up with her. My parents thought it was cute, me shadowing her. Sometimes she made out that she was annoyed by me doing this, but I knew she wasn't really. I remember when I tried to go too fast and fell over, scraping my shin on the carpet. She made such a fuss when I started crying, and made sure to kiss it better. She gave me a fairy kiss – a little nose nuzzle, that's our thing – and made me laugh again.
At school I desperately wanted to be in the same class as her, which obviously didn't happen, considering the age gap. We hung out during break times though, playing hopscotch and marbles with the other kids. I loved us being friends, it still made me feel cool, having an older sister.
I remembering crying when she went to high school, and I had to wait two years before being able to join her there. It was so much bigger, and there were so many more students, but she helped me find my way around. Even let me hang out with her friends until I made my own. Clarisse was cool in her own way; she had her ears pierced now, and wore baggy checked shirts and tight jeans. Her hair had grown long, and she styled it so well. I just thought she was great. Even when she had her moody strops as a teenager, as we all do.
I think one of the best things about her is that she never seemed embarrassed by me, as some other people probably would. She didn't care if people watched when we gave each other fairy kisses. “This is my baby sister,” she'd introduce me proudly, and I loved that most about her.
I loved that we were like this now, but I knew that when we were younger, thing's hadn't been so smooth. (383/500)
-ClarisseAll siblings fight. That's just a given. Anyone who makes it through their life without having a proper sibling spat is either very lucky, or a complete liar. We had our fair share of arguments growing up. When we were young it was who got to play with which doll, who got a later bedtime, who ate the last cookie without telling the other.
Petty teenage stuff, obviously. Who stole who's hairbrush. Where was the phone charger. Who said you could use my nail polish without asking. Usual stuff, unimportant stuff.
But there was one fight that took a nasty turn.
I was ten, she was eight. We'd gotten into an argument about something stupid, but both of us must have been in a bad mood, because it kept escalating even when it didn't need to. I'd accidentally embarrassed her in front of a few friends. Nothing major, but it had made her face go red even though her friends had laughed it off. At home, she had a go at me. Asking how I could do that, did I want to make her look stupid, did I want people to laugh at her.
“You don't have to worry about that, do you?” she spat. “Miss Clarisse, the
popular one, the
older one, the one whose
so-o-o cool.”
“Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”
“You don't have to worry about people liking you, they just do! It's different for me! Not that you'd care,” she added in a sulky tone. “You with your stupid nice hair, stupid laugh, stupid-”
“Don't call me stupid!” I yelled. “Don't talk to me like that!”
“I'll talk to you how I want! It's not like you're my real sister!”
The words hung in the air for an uncomfortable amount of time. Bitter, chilling, dispersing throughout the room and settling cold on our shoulders. Tears stung my eyes. She realized what she'd said, and her hands flew up to cover her mouth.
“No, Clarisse, I didn't mean-”
I stormed out without a word. It would be a few months until we would speak again. Every time I looked at her, I heard her say it. Every time she looked at me, her eyes filled with guilt. That fight had shaken the foundation of our sisterhood, and it had taken our parents to intervene to finally make us speak again. Even then we didn't talk a lot, just hugged for a very long time, tears streaming down our cheeks. She kept saying how sorry she was, and I believed her. Looking back, in the long run, this might have even helped to strengthen our bond. (450/500)
-MeiThe only good thing to come out of that fight was that I opened up to her.
I told her the truth about how I felt. Not that she wasn't my real sister, goodness no, she absolutely was. She was my family and I loved her dearly, and I knew I'd gotten incredibly lucky to end up with a sibling like her.
But there were other little things that were weighing me down. Because in truth, even as a toddler, I really felt as though I'd been in her shadow. I'd copied the way she walked, how she talked, what food she liked, the pictures she liked to draw. I'd never really gone out of my way to find my own likes and dislikes.
And then of course, I thought she was amazingly cool, and everyone else did too – but maybe I felt like I compared myself to her too much, and thought other people did too. Did my friends like me for me? Or did they just like to hang out with my older sister? Was I as cool as she was? Or did I just to try to pretend I was?
When I told her these things, she stroked my hair and wiped the tears from my cheeks and tried to soothe my insecurities. She told me she loved me, and of course I was great, but just in my own special way. Maybe I didn't look like her, or have the same interests, and who cares if she was older, what's age got to do with it? Why would I want to be like her, when I could be like myself? She told me she thought I was cool, and that she was super lucky to have such a great younger sister like me.
And from there, with everything out in the open, we rebuilt our sibling relationship on the foundation of a fresh start. She encouraged me more to try and find hobbies I liked, and that I was good at. When we hung out with friends she talked me up, which made me blush, but I still appreciated it. We told each other everything, all of our secrets, and became closer than ever.
That's why in high school she was so good to me, and why she was never embarrassed to have me around or be affectionate in public. She was just so wonderful, even after the horrible thing I'd said to her, and had said many times I never meant it. She was my sister, and I'd never have it any other way. (430/500)
-ClarisseAfter we graduated high school, instead of launching ourselves into an immediate job or student loan debt, we decided to take a gap year. We'd saved up quite a bit of money through weekend and holiday work, and so we decided to use it for the most logical thing.
We packed some bags into my secondhand car, and decided to take a road trip.
It was just as you'd expect it to be in one of those feel-good comedy films. The air conditioning kept breaking. We got lost more times than we could count. Sometimes we bickered over what music to play, and if we chose the radio, it went static in some areas. The cheap motels we chose had tiny rooms, so we had to squash up in one bed and ignore the streetlights glaring through the blinds.
But oh
boy, did we have the time of our lives.
We visited different parks, fed the ducks, hiked through forests with less than appropriate footwear. We stopped at cheap gift shops to buy each other the worse souvenirs we could find. We slept in our car at the beach, and watched the sunrise over the still water. Everything that happened, planned or not, was brilliant because we had each other.
My favorite stop was the Grand Canyon. I drove all night with Mei snoring in the passenger seat beside me so that we could get there when the sun began to rise. I didn't even know where we were supposed to park, I just knew that I wanted to share this moment with her. Part of the sky was still dark when I parked us, and we tumbled out from the car and went to the viewing platform.
I managed to get the loveliest photo of us. Technically it's just part of my face, but you can see Mei staring out over the Canyon, hair a mess, slippers on, watching the sun rise. The sky was absolutely stunning, all red and orange and pink, like it was on fire in the best way possible. The light made the rock turn gold, and way down below, you could see this tiny glittering river snaking its way through. It was just an unforgettable moment for us, standing side my side, sharing in this breathtaking view.
This was both the best experience I've had with her, and the best photo I believe I've ever taken. Not because of the natural wonder behind us, but because it was just the two of us that got to see it. Everything we'd been through in life, and here we were. In that moment, I'd never felt a stronger connection to my sister, and I know she felt the same way. (454/500)
-ClarisseIt's quite strange, looking back now as a grown up. We haven't grown apart in any way, I'm not sure that could ever happen, but I think in our adult worlds we don't have the opportunity to spend as much time with each other. We meet up when we can; dinner every Friday night, cafe catch ups Sunday mornings, sometimes even weekend sleepovers when we can find the time. I've never stopped loving spending time with her, and I think that's pretty special.
She'll always be my best friend. It doesn't matter who comes along, she's still the person I love most in the world. I'm immensely proud of her, and I love seeing how she's grown and blossomed over the years. I tell her this a lot, and I hope she listens. I think it must be similar to how our parents feel, watching us grow up and make our way in the big wide world. But it's different for me, of course, because I've seen this happen from a different perspective. She'll always be my baby sister, but I'm glad she's her own person now too.
We branched out into widely different careers. I threw myself into the world of photography, and I'm pleased at the small business I've managed to build for myself. Mei helps me out, because she hires me to come and take pictures of the events she organizes. It's mutually beneficial, really, promoting each other like this. Plus it means we get to see each other during business hours.
I thank my lucky stars every day that fate decided to deliver her to me as my sister, because there is absolutely no one else I would have wanted, and no one I could care for and appreciate more. (294/500)
-MeiI think there were times as a child when I didn't ever think I'd really 'spread my wings', as people put it. Part of me thought I'd cling on to Clarisse forever, following her around, doing what she did, maybe even living on her couch or something. We actually did live together for a year or so, once we were back from our road trip and decided to have a crack at moving out. It wasn't much different from living at home. We didn't fight or anything, and maybe I thought we'd be like this forever, but things change, and I suppose people do too.
I think we were all surprised when I was the one who developed such a taste for independence. With Clarisse busy with all of her photography courses, I had to go out and find my own things to do. I'd never really thought about event planning as a career, but a course opened up at Clarisse's building, and on a whim I decided to take it.
A few years later, who knew I'd enjoy the role of ordering people around so much?
I love listening to clients, hearing their ideas, coming up with my own, finding venues, decorations, and the like. A photographer was always easy to find, of course. But the best part by far was everything coming together, and seeing the joy on people's faces at the event we'd all pulled together.
The job helped me become more independent, and although it was odd when Clarisse and I got our own apartments – only a few streets away, mind you – I think it was good for us. Having a chance to do our own thing, and so on, even if we end up going to each others places to hang out more often than not.
Sometimes I have flashbacks to what I once said to her, and it makes me shudder and my eyes water at the thought. I know that will always be my biggest regret in life, and I'm just so thankful that she forgave me and we put things right. I just couldn't have done everything I have without her love and support.
For one of our joint birthday parties – we still have those – I got us friendship necklaces, the kind that join up to form words when you put them together. She got the moon side, and I got the sun. Together, the words read 'Soul Sisters'. Because that's what she is. She is my sister, and I love her. I couldn't have ever asked for a better sibling, or a more extraordinary best friend. (439/500)
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Clarisse;
writing x4
art x1
Mei;
writing x3
art x1
total; 9 components
by doubledare » Tue Feb 19, 2019 6:50 am 
