[meveh]

BIG AND HUGE LOVE

[ajax.]

username:

Ajax.

cat's name:

DuskChaser

gender:

male

age:

45 moons

rank:

Marksman

clan:

ThistleClan

will he find love?:

This is a strange question for DuskChaser, especially with the fact that he's too focused on helping his clan and travelling to focus on settling down with another cat. He'd much rather prefer someone who could come on the trails with him when he goes on his journeys outside the territory. Perhaps a seeker? a nomad who was also allowed to leave the borders of Thistleclan as they please? Unfortunately none of those cats have tempted him into slowing down even a little bit.
On his journeys as a marksman, he's also come across many cats which whom have interested him for a brief period of time, unfortunately they end up revealing something that stops that flutter of butterflies and he simply carries on.
One thing still was very strange for the tomcat, their second healer, who came from the stand-ups after escaping a vet clinic, was more than curious around the tortie male. Apparently there was a strange thing about him where he couldn't produce kits. This at first struck a chord with the tom and he had slipped into a slightly depressed state of mind, perhaps that was the reason he couldn't seem to develop more than a few startup feelings for mollies?
He disappeared from the clan for several moons, wanting to travel for awhile and stay away from his home. After FrostedEarth the healer had told him of his fate, a few other cats overheard and it spread like wildfire. He had become taunted, just like he was when he first came to the clan due to his feminine-like pelt. And he didn't want to face the cats he had grown around.
Of course there were several cats who didn't tease the tom, RedShiver, WhiteBriar, and of course LittleSpark, HoneyWind and AdderStar; who seemed to simply pity him for his misfortune.

wipperooni

[zippo.]

The Land of Three Crows

Click on Red's name for my form.

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Red Clouds at Dawn | Dawnflare | Red


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[mongrel]

STRONG MARK
username: imaginary
cat's name:
sex: male
gender: non-binary [they/them]
age: 37 moons
rank: warrior
clan: hollowclan
will they find love?:

[aergia]

♫ if I am left with a rose in my hand, let it die
it's the beauty in forgotten love ♫

•────────username: aergia────────•
•───────cat's name: leafheart───────•
•──────────gender: male──────────•
•──────────age: 49 moons──────────•
•───────────rank: warrior─────────•
•─────────clan: oceanclan─────────•
•─────will he find love?: of course─────•

♫ and I don't care if you don't understand why I cry
it's the beauty in forgotten love ♫

[StormSerpent]

username: StormSerpent
cat's name: LightningPaw
gender: trans male to female
age: 10 moons
rank: apprentice
clan: LotusClan
will he find love?:

[Sunnyside]

mark

[Shadowflight13]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

username: Shadowflight13
cat's name: Flickerfrost
gender: male
age: 35 moons
rank: Warrior
clan: Cometclan

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

will he find love?:

.・゜゜・ 3 moons old ・゜゜・．

The sun shone down through the thick branches of the trees, dappling the clearing below. The small loner community was peaceful and content, mainly consisting of she-cats with kits. In the clearing, a small tortoiseshell tom kit faced off against several larger, older kits, his fur fluffed up.

"Where are you going, Flicker?" one of the older kits asked, looming over him.

"I was going to collect some moss to play mossball," Flicker meowed, as bravely as he could.

"Oh? Doesn't that game seem a bit too robust for you? Wouldn't you be happier playing with the other she-kits?"

"No! I'm a tom, like you!" Flicker protested.

"Yeah?" The leader of the little group leaned in close. "Look like a she-kit to me." The laughter of him and his friend cut off any retort Flicker might have given. He stood for a moment, wanting to fight back, but gave up and back off. He pressed his ears flat against his head, and ran away from the older kits as they laughed at him. "Mama!" he cried, running back to his mother's den.

His mother was laying in her nest. Her muzzle was flecked with grey hairs, and her fluffy fur was starting to thin. Flicker noticed these things, but didn't make much of it. The other kits said that the reason he was wrong was because of how old she was when she had him. They said that he should have had littermates, but they were born already dead. His mother never talked about it, and he was scared to ask.

"What is it, my precious little firelight?" His mother purred, wrapping him up in her fluffy tail.

"The other kits were being mean again," the little kit meowed. "They said I was a she-kit! But I'm not! I'm a tom!"

"Oh, my poor baby," his mother meowed, licking him between his ears. "Don't listen to them."

"Can't we leave?" Flicker asked, looking up with big golden eyes. "Why do we have to stay here?" He didn't know where his father was, as the tom had left before his mother even knew she was pregnant. And unlike some of the other she-cats, his mother hadn't had any other older litters in this area, so they had no other family left.

"It's safer here, baby," his mother meowed softly. "I can't look after you all on my own. I know this is hard for you... I know your life will be hard. Promise me you won't ever let anyone tell you who you are or what you have to be. Promise me you'll always remember what's here." She touched her nose to his chest, so she could feel his little heartbeat through his chest. Flicker nuzzled her cheek.

"I promise, Mama. I don't need anyone else when I have you. Us against the world, right?"

"That's right, my little firelight," his mother purred. "Us against the world." She pulled him close to her, so he couldn't see the sad smile on her face.

.・゜゜・ 8 moons old ・゜゜・．

Flicker was woken by the sound of coughing. He sat up and looked over anxiously at his mother, who tried to suppress the coughs when she saw he was awake. He got to his paws and walked over to her, ears brushing the roof of their shared den. He had grown considerably over the past five moons, and the other kits didn't dare pick on him anymore. But as he had grown stronger, his mother had grown weaker, and he knew she felt her age. While the other tom kits in the community were starting to leave their mothers, to travel and eventually find she-cats of their own, he stayed behind to take care of her.

"Mama? Are you all right?" He leaned down to touch his nose to her cheek.

"I'm all right," she rasped. "Just a tickle in my throat." Flicker continued to look at her worriedly. Her dark pelt was patchy and worn, her fur ticked with grey.

"Don't worry about me," she purred. "I'm fine, see?" She licked him on the head. "Settle down beside me for a moment, baby."

Flicker lay down beside her and pressed himself into her, sharing the warmth of his thick pelt.

"Now you listen to me, my little firelight," his mother meowed. "There's going to come a time when I won't be around--"

"Don't say that!" Flicker protested. "Don't talk like that!"

"Listen, Flicker. Just listen." She ran her tail along his spine to calm him. "My time will come. I can feel it in my bones, a deep tiredness dragging at my paws, calling to me when I sleep." When Flicker started to speak again, she cut him off. "When that time comes... promise me you'll go out into the world. Don't wallow in your grief. You've always been my light. My little firelight." She smiled fondly at him, while he continued looking anxious. "I want the world to know your light. A soul as bright as yours doesn't deserve to be tied to an old queen, stuck in this place."

"Mama..." Flicker meowed, anxious. "Are you sure you're okay?"

His mother closed her eyes and purred, "Oh, I'm all right. Don't listen to an old cat's ramblings." She began to cough again and Flicker waited until she was done. She looked off into the distance for a moment, eyes unfocused, then turned her head to him again.

"Would you be a dear and fetch me some water? I think it might help my throat," she purred.

"All right," he meowed uncertainly, getting to his paws. He almost didn't want to leave her. "It's still us against the world, right?" he felt silly, needing reassurance from his mother like a kit, but he couldn't help himself.

"Yes, my little firelight. Us against the world." His mother smiled at him, then nudged his paws. "Now, off you go." He nodded, and exited the den. Behind him, out of his earshot, his mother sighed and murmured, "You don't need to see this."

Flicker padded away from the den, his pelt still prickling anxiously. He crossed the clearing he used to play in as a kit, dipping his head politely to a she-cat warming herself in a sunny patch. He was heading towards a small stream that was nearby. There was sure to be some moss that he could soak and take back.

When he reached the stream, he leaned down and lapped up a few mouthfuls himself. The water was cold and refreshing, clearing the early morning fog from his mind. He glanced around the stream for a mossy boulder. Spotting one on the opposite bank, he hopped across using a stepping stone. He placed one large paw on the boulder and clawed off a small ball of moss. Picking it up, he leaned over the stream again to soak it.

"Hey there, gorgeous," a voice meowed. "Need any help with that?" Flicker sat up and locked eyes with a brown tabby tomcat. He shook his head, fur ruffling.

"No thank you," he meowed, the moss muffling his meow. "I need to get back." The brown tom stepped closer.

"Are you sure a young she-cat like yourself should be out all alone? Seems kinda dangerous," he meowed smoothly. "I could escort you back to wherever it is you need to go."

Flicker dropped the moss, tail twitching, and meowed coldly, "I said I was fine. And I'm not a she-cat!" He bushed up his fur as much as he could. Though he had grown considerably since he was a kit, this tom was still bigger than him.

The tom frowned, but only for a moment. He quickly smoothed his features and took a step back, dipping his head. "I meant no offense, it's just that you look--"

"I know how I look," Flicker snapped. "Now please, leave me be." He felt like he'd dawdled here too long. His mother would be waiting. He needed to get back.

"Come now, no need to be rude," the tom replied, and took a step forward again. He sniffed the air in Flicker's direction. Flicker stiffened. "Now," the tom meowed, taking another step forward, "I'm not picky about what you want to call yourself, I just want--"

Flicker grabbed the moss and leaped over the stream, running away. He ignored the indignant yowl of the tom behind him, feeling like a coward. He slowed down when he reached the clearing, panting. It was empty now; the sunbathing she-cat must have gone back to her den. He glanced over his shoulder, but the tom must have decided a young cat like himself wasn't worth pursuing.

He made his way slowly back to his den, holding the moss carefully to avoid losing too much of the water. He ducked through the entrance, eyes adjusting to the gloom.

"Mama?" His meow was muffled by the damp moss. His mother's form, curled against the back wall, didn't move. Flicker dropped the moss. "Mama!" He cried louder and dashed to her side, a great feeling of despair welling in his chest. "No!"

His mother lay perfectly still on the floor of the den. She didn't move even when he pressed his nose into her pelt, and her body was cooling.

"Mama," he repeated, softly. "Don't leave me all alone. You can't leave me all alone." Tears sparked in his eyes. "You promised. You promised it would be us, forever, us against the world. Don't leave me." He buried his face in his pelt. "Please."

Flicker lay in the den next to her for the full day, not moving until after the sun had made its way all the way across the sky and set. He buried her that night, in one of her favorite spots, and left the den behind the next morning, never to return.

.・゜゜・ 20 moons old ・゜゜・．

A year had passed since Flicker's mother died. The scents of late summer in the air reminded him of her. He'd traveled a long way from the quiet forest community of his birth, but the air still smelled the same. He sat, lost in memory, on a sun warmed rock in the middle of a meadow. He was a large tom now, with fur that was thick and fluffy.

"Flicker?" A she-cat's warm meow broke his reverie. "What are you thinking about, up there all by yourself?" The pretty silver she-cat jumped up on the rock beside him, brushing against his pelt.

"Silver," he greeted her. "I was just... thinking about my mother."

Silver nuzzled his cheek gently. He'd found the she-cat after over six moons of traveling, and she'd been kind to him. Kind enough for him to stop running away. "I know you miss her," Silver meowed gently. Flicker nodded mutely and they sat together quietly for awhile, watching the butterflies flutter around the wildflowers of the meadow. Finally, Silver broke the silence.

"Have you ever thought about, I don't know, having a family?" She spoke hesitantly, as if scared of what he thought. The question made his heartbeat quicken. When he was a kit, he hadn't thought very far into the future. He'd thought all he needed was his mother, and that as long as they were together he wouldn't need anything else. But after her death, during those long moons alone... His thinking had changed. He began to long for a mate, and even for kits of his own. And if Silver was asking him what he thought she was asking...

"I think about that quite a bit, actually," he replied cautiously. "Something my mother used to call me... She said I was her little firelight. The light of her life. It's how I got my name. I think that, well, I guess I'd like to make some little lights of my own." He looked sideways at her.

Silver purred. "What about me? Am I in this golden picture of yours?" Her eyes sparkled, and he laughed, nuzzling her. "I couldn't imagine anyone else." Both cats were happy, happier than they'd ever been. The thought of their future family filled their hearts.

And they tried. They tried, again and again. Nothing. Silver's belly never swelled with unborn kits. Their den remained cold and empty, and as the moons passed, their relationship strained. Flicker was forced to accept that he would never have kits of his own, and as long as Silver was with him, neither would she.

.・゜゜・ 25 moons old ・゜゜・．

Five moons passed since that bright day under the sun. This morning was cloudy, grey and gloomy, and when Flicker awoke Silver wasn't beside him. He got to his paws and followed her scent, wondering if they could go hunting together like they used to. Her scent trail led through the meadow and into the forest. He froze when he heard her bright laugh. Who was she talking to? He crept forward quietly, and settled in the undergrowth.

Silver was talking to a black tom, and they were laughing. Flicker strained his ears to hear what they were saying.

"--you sure?" asked the tom, delight unmistakable in his deep meow.

"Positive," Silver purred, winding around him. "I'm carrying kits! Your kits."

Flicker couldn't listen any longer, and burst from the brush, startling them both. "Silver!" He cried, his voice shaking. "How-- Why-- How could you do this?"

The tom's eyes hardened and he placed his tail over Silver's back protectively. Silver looked torn. "I'm sorry, Flicker," she meowed. "I thought I loved you... I thought we would be happy together. But you... you can't give me what I need." She looked away. "It's over, Flicker." Flicker stood and stared at them, shocked and betrayed.

"I will fight for her if necessary," the black tom meowed softly. "But nobody here wants that. It doesn't need to end in blood."

Flicker was bigger; he felt that if he wanted he could win this fight. He looked at Silver, at the sad look in her eyes. No shame for what she had done, no regrets--just sadness for what might have been, and hope for what could be. He shook his head.

"I can't stay here," he meowed, and the black tom relaxed. Flicker looked at Silver again. "Goodbye," he meowed, and turned away.

.・゜゜・ 34 moons old ・゜゜・．

Another six moons spent traveling, before he found an isolated spot in a forest to settle in. There was a group of cats somewhere to the distant northeast, but he figured as long as he didn't stray into their territory, they wouldn't bother him. He made himself a new den, bitter and distraught over Silver's betrayal. He still longed for a family, but by now he wondered if that would ever be a possibility. He couldn't have kits. Ever. Even for the few she-cats that could see past his feminine pelt, what she-cat would want a mate that could never give them children? He understood the desire for kits better than most cats. How could he ever expect another cat to give that up, just for him?

Clearly, he couldn't, so he settled down in his new den and tried to commit himself to a lifetime of loneliness. He felt more alone than he ever had, more alone even than when his mother had died. It was worse, knowing the future held nothing bright. Not only was he alone, but he'd always be alone.

Three moons after he settled down again, a morning came that was bright, warm and sunny, with fluffy white clouds building on the horizon. Watching the sunlight filter down through the leaves, dappling the ground with shade, reminded him of his kitten days. He remembered running to his mother all those times the older kits picked on him, and quickly grew lonely again. He decided he'd go hunting, to take his mind off things.





Flicker stalked a mouse along the bank of the river. It stopped to nibble a seed, and Flicker crept forward, pawstep by pawstep. Then he pounced. His claws found their mark and he quickly brought it to his mouth to give it the killing bite. His mother had taught him that. A pang went through his heart and he stared at the tiny creature. It was freshkill now, but he suddenly seemed to have lost his appetite.

"Excuse me, miss?" The meow of a she-cat broke the silence and he whirled around, fur bushing.

"I'm not a she-cat!" He yowled. The full force of his bitterness and loneliness was packed into the yowl. The she-cat looked frightened, and he suddenly felt ashamed.

"I-I'm sorry," she stuttered, taking a step back. "I didn't mean to bother you. I'll just go." She was a slim cream tabby she-cat, her ribs showing through her pelt. He noticed the slight swelling of her belly, and she bunched her paws protectively together.

"No, wait, I'm sorry," Flicker meowed. "It's an easy mistake to make, I shouldn't have snapped like that--" At his embarrassed tone, she stopped her retreat. "My name's Flicker," he continued. "Did you need something?"

"Yes," she said, shuffling her paws. "It's just, the riverbank is so steep here, and I can't exactly climb down to the water..." She trailed off, subconsciously giving her chest fur a few licks.

"So you need me to climb down and bring some water back for you?" Flicker asked, tilting his head.

"If you could, yes," she meowed. "If you get some moss, and soak it--"

"I know," Flicker meowed, smiling to try and ease the tension he'd created by yelling at her. "I used to fetch water for--" he stopped, and gave himself a quick shake, "--I've done it before. Just give me a sec." He padded to the overlook and glanced down, looking for a mossy boulder. Behind him, he heard the she-cat's stomach growl, and glanced at the mouse he'd left untouched.

"Here," he said, nudging it towards her. "You have this."

"Really?" she asked, and he nodded. "Thank you." He heard her began to eat as he clambered down the steep bank. He spotted some moss on a rock in the river and waded out to it, clawing a small ball off as he used to do for his mother. He grabbed it in his jaws and soaked it in the water, than clambered back up the bank, fur dripping. He dropped it in front of her.

"Thanks," she said, and crouched down to lap the water from it. "I'm Maize, by the way."

"Nice to meet you," Flicker said, watching her drink. He suddenly couldn't bear the thought of her leaving so quickly, of being alone again. It had been so long since he'd talked to another cat, that his own voice sounded strange to his ears.

"I'm guessing you wouldn't say no to another mouse?" he asked her. "I can catch you something else, if you give me a bit."

"Oh, you don't have to do that for me," Maize started, looking up. "I don't want to be trouble."

"It's no bother," he assured her. "There's tons of prey at this time of year, I'm sure I can catch something else for you quickly enough."

"Well, all right..." she said, hesitantly. She was obviously too hungry to press the matter, when he seemed so willing. Flicker dipped his head to her.

"Be right back," he said, and padded into the trees, scenting the air. He picked up the trail of a squirrel and tracked it as rapidly as he dared. His determination not to let her leave so quickly made him focused, and he caught it swiftly and efficiently. He carried it back to where Maize waited, where she'd finished all the water out of the moss.

"Hope you like squirrel!" he meowed. It was surprising how good it felt to be useful again, even if it was just for a stranger. While she ate, he fetched her more water again. She lapped up most of it gratefully and finally sat back, belly full and thirst quenched for the first time in many moons.

"I can't thank you enough for this, Flicker," she meowed, looking at him warmly. "As I'm sure you've already noticed, I'm eating for more than one." She began to groom her front paw, drawing it over one ear while she looked at him thoughtfully. "I'm guessing you've done this for a she-cat before? Have a mate of your own?"

Flicker looked away, shaking his head. "No, it was my mother, when I was young. I had a mate, but she left." He didn't know why he was suddenly opening up to her. Maybe it was because she was the first cat he'd talked to since Silver betrayed him. "She left me, because I can't... I can't have kits." He stared at his paws, not knowing how she would receive this information. They were strangers, after all. She had no obligation to listen to this.

"Well, I guess that makes us opposites then," she meowed, and he looked up quickly. She had stopped her grooming, and was looking at him intently. Her eyes were fierce, yet somehow sad. "The tom I called my mate kicked me out as soon as he learned I was expecting."

Flicker blinked. "I'm sorry." He couldn't imagine what it would be like, to not want kits that were yours. He felt a sudden bitter anger at this unknown tom, who could have had everything Flicker ever wanted, and yet gave it all up. Flicker would give anything for that chance.

Maize shrugged. "It's all right. At least I'll have the little ones." She looked fondly at her slightly swollen belly. "It's funny, I haven't even seen them, and I already love them so much... Though, I don't know how I'm going to manage, after they're born."

"My mother raised me all on her own," Flicker reassured her. "And I turned out all right, didn't I?"

She squinted at him, studying him critically. "You pass," she said, joking. Flicker laughed.

"Anyway, I'm sure you'll do fine," he told her. "Is there somewhere you're headed?"

"Not really," Maize replied, looking down. "I just had to get away from him." Flicker felt a tug in his heart at her tone. He wanted to help her, to save her somehow, but he knew it wasn't his place. He wanted to reply, but before he could, a loud rumble of thunder rent the quiet. He looked up at the patches of sky visible through the trees. He hadn't even noticed while they were talking, but the fluffy white clouds he'd seen that morning had turned dark grey and closed in. The air suddenly smelled like rain.

Maize got to her paws, anxiously looking up. "I need to go," she meowed. "I need to find shelter somewhere." She looked around, as if hoping to see something. Flicker looked at her, and gave himself a shake. It didn't matter if it wasn't his place. He wanted to help her, and he knew his mother would want him to as well.

"Come back to my den," he offered. "It's warm, and dry, and it isn't far. We can beat the rain." When Maize hesitated, he added, "I can sleep in a tree or something if you're uncomfortable. It just isn't right to leave you out to get wet, especially since you're carrying kits." Another peal of thunder rumbled across the sky. Maize looked up again anxiously, then nodded.

"Okay," she said, "lead on."

Flicker quickly led her through the forest to his den. It was reminiscent of the one he'd shared all the moons ago with his mother, a sheltered hollow beneath the roots of a tree. Just as they reached it, the rain reached them, lashing the branches above. Maize stood awkwardly near the entrance, glancing around.

"Make yourself at home," Flicker told her. "I'll go find a branch somewhere--"

"No, that's ridiculous," Maize meowed, giving herself a shake. "It's pouring outside, and this is your den."

"You won't be uncomfortable?" Flicker asked, tilting his head to one side. Maize shook her head.

"You've gotten me this far. I'm deciding to trust you." She smiled at him. Flicker dipped his head.

"I won't let you down," he promised, settling on the opposite side of the den. They lay on either side of the den, not touching, watching the rain fall outside until they both fell asleep.



Maize didn't leave the next morning, or the morning after that. Flicker fetched her prey and water, too scared of driving her away to ask her why she stayed. Finally, the question came up one night, when Flicker couldn't take it anymore.

"Isn't it obvious?" Maize laughed, and touched him lightly. "You're not going to make me say it, are you?" Flicker blinked at her, not daring to hope.

"I love you, Flicker," she meowed, looking him right in the eye. "And I want you to help me raise these kits. Our kits."

And all the loneliness and longing he'd felt over the past seasons welled up inside him and burst out, so that he was crying unabashedly. Maize just laughed and laughed, twining her tail with his as he felt his heart fill up with all the love he thought he'd left behind.

.・゜゜・ 35 moons old ・゜゜・．

Flicker paced outside his den, back and forth, back and forth. Maize had started having pains and kicked him out with a hiss. Now, inside, he could hear her making small noises of pain. He flinched as sudden cry of pain echoed from the den, and then it was quiet. He rushed inside. Maize was lying against the back wall, her side heaving. The kits laid where they had been born, she hadn't moved them to her belly. They weren't moving.

"No," he whispered. "Maize?" Her eyes flicked open.

"Flicker?" It scared him how weak her voice was. Her breath was coming in short, shallow gasps, and he noticed she was still bleeding. She wasn't supposed to be bleeding. He felt a shiver go up his spine. There was nothing he could do. This was worse than when his mother died, this was so much worse, and he suddenly understood why she had sent him from the den when she knew the end was coming.

"I'm here, love," Flicker answered his mate, moving closer to her. "I'm here." It was all he could do to keep his voice from shaking. Maize needed him to be strong right now, and so strong he would be.

"Our kits! How are our kits?" She tried to sit up, but couldn't do it. Flicker looked sadly at the three kits, tiny and still, then looked back at Maize and tried to smile at her.

"They're beautiful, like their mother." His voice broke. He couldn't bear to tell her, not if she didn't already know. Not now. She would be with them soon.

Maize smiled weakly, then winced with pain. "It hurts," she meowed. "Flicker, it hurts." Her voice sounded so small, and Flicker's heart was breaking. He wanted to cry out, to call for her not to leave him like he'd cried to his mother, but he swallowed the pain.

"I know, Maize, I know it hurts. Think about our kits, think about our little lights, and just hold on. Hold on, please, for me..." Despite his efforts, he couldn't stop himself from pleading, just a little. He felt helpless. He could do nothing but watch.

"I'm scared," Maize whispered. "I feel so cold." She trembled and he pressed himself against her.

"Don't be afraid, my love," he meowed softly, next to her ear. "Don't be afraid. I'll keep you warm." He nuzzled her cheek, tears in his eyes.

"I love you." It was the last thing she said before she went still, leaving Flicker alone again. He felt like there was no coming back from the abyss this time. He'd truly lost everything. He threw his head back and yowled, unable to contain the grief. He wanted to run again, like he had when he was young, but he had no one to run to. So he cried to the stars.

They answered with a thin, high cry, a cry that tugged on his heart and pulled it back together. His head jerked back, hardly daring to breath, as he looked at the three tiny kits.

One of them was moving. Slowly, weakly, but it was moving! It was cream colored, like her mother, a tiny speck of light. He grabbed it and began to lick it vigorously. It's cry grew stronger

as he warmed it up. He glanced at his mate's body and swallowed, then carefully set the kit down beside it. It nursed quietly for a little while, and while it did, Flicker began to dig. It had been a long time since he'd dug a grave, and this one took him longer, since he kept going back to the den to check on the kit.

By the time he'd finished, the kit was asleep. Flicker tried not to wake it when he moved the bodies, but it began crying again when he left the den. Flicker moved it outside with him while he buried them. The kit had given him fiery purpose that burned away the grief.

He paused for a moment when the grave was finished, something he hadn't done for his mother.

"Goodbye, Maize," he meowed quietly, voice breaking. "I'll look after our light. I promise."

He picked up the kit. He couldn't nurse it himself, and there was only one place he could go. He headed northeast, where he knew a large group of cats was settled. He traveled without stopping to hunt or rest, knowing the kit wouldn't last long without milk. He passed the scent markers and kept going until he found a patrol.

"Please," he meowed, holding out the kit. "Help me."

The Clan cats looked at each other. “We can’t just leave a kit to die,” a blue spotted she-cat meowed gently. The others agreed, and so they led Flicker to their camp, and gave the kit to a queen to nurse. Flicker couldn’t leave the kit behind, so he opted to join the Clan instead, wary as he was of making connections to other cats. Smokestar, their leader, gave him the suffix -frost, in honor of his determination and focus. As for the kit, Flickerfrost was determined to take care of her. He might have lost Maize, and his mother, but he wouldn’t lose this kit. The Clan cats told him he would see those he’d lost again, that they were waiting for him in the stars, and would watch over him and the kit. He wasn’t sure if he believed it, but he wanted to. If nothing else, the thought was comforting, that Maize could be watching him as he took care of her daughter. One night, when the foster queen went out to stretch her legs, her curled up around the kit and groomed her ears gently.

Flickerfrost might never be able to father kits of his own, but he would make sure that he was the best dad possible for this little motherless kit, who looked so much like her mother. He was determined to focus all his energy on making her feel loved.

“You need a name, little one,” he murmured. He looked at the little cream colored kit, so bright she seemed to glow in the gloom of the nursery. “Lightkit,” he tried the name out on his tongue, then repeated it, louder. “Lightkit.” He purred. “You are the light of my life, little one, and I am going to take care of you.”

(5,000/5,000 words)
(279/500 words)
(3/3 art pieces)
(1/1 art piece)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[vanilla bean.]

username: uwu.
cat's name: poppyshade
gender: male
age: 18 moons
rank: warrior
clan: petalclan
will he find love?: not as of now
the circumstances of poppyshade's birth are... not very typical. He was born on the cusp of leafbare, a dangerous time for a kit to be brought into the world. Not only was the timing strange, but he was born with a lovely tortoiseshell pelt. Assuming he was a she, his mother gave him the name poppy, and it truly did fit! Poppykit was beautiful, with a silky soft pelt and glistening golden eyes.
he had no siblings, and was quite adored by his mother, but his father was not keen on Poppykit's feminine appearance. In fact, other than his father, nobody in the clan had any any problem with the feminine looking tom. their issue was in the color of his pelt. petalclan was well known for their light, petal colored warriors, and poppykit's stark black pelt was strange and different.

ostracized by some clan members for his dark pelt
became extremely close with one cat, she never judged him for his appearance or name
fell in love, w/ each other, tried to have kits but couldn't
she loved him anyway, didn't care
they had a good couple moons, everything was looking up, even adopted a lil kit that had been left on one of the borders
winter came, she caught greencough & died
the clan sees his pure heart and he is no longer ostracized
still feels isolated from everyone in the clan except for his adopted son
has no interest in anyone else, very solitary

[halflower]

Dropping out, good luck everyone!