!!{xusername | name celine "rue" kiyoshi | gender femalex}─ heaven's quiet regret ─ “ what disappears the moment you say it's name? ”
this riddle holds a lot with it. it requires the two basic senses to be understood and portrayed accordingly. for instance one must be able to hear as well as speak, for if you cannot hear the riddle it would have no affect. and if you could not speak then it was also be of no use. it's also a backwards kind of riddle as one saying the word silence, does indeed disrupt it instantaneously. rue likes it because it's a head scratcher as well as relates to her internal struggle of always wanting silence but never truly getting it, inside of her own mind, as well as the world outside. and even if she called for it, as loud as she could, she would never ever get it.
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[ 856 words ]
“ tell me something sweet..
i was born with pure white fur, white as snow. i was born blind, all i saw w
as black. i was born deaf, i could not hear the ringing of my name. i was b
orn mute, i could not cry out letting them know i was alive. i blended in wi
th newly fallen snow, no one could find me. i was not stained with the red
color of love. i was pure, new, fresh, but i was abandoned because of it. i
could not hear them leaving, i could not call out to them, i could not stand
and follow their tracks to find my way home. i lay there presumably to die
but instead i was permitted to hibernate until spring. though as the snow m
elted away i was left stained with the deep brows of the forest, dotted wit
the white remnants of winter. i arose as the spring buds did, reborn.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------“ like what?
i grew up alone. always alone, always moving, always searching for some t
hing but never really knowing what that thing was. i taught myself to not i
nteract with others, as i was always curious and cautious of them. i never
understood the outside world around me, there was always a war going on
inside my head. something saying run faster, step quieter, breath deeper. i
t never stopped as long as my heart was beating it was speaking. what was
it, was it myself? was is my soul? or was it just something to keep my mind
off my inevitable lonely excuse for a life. the way bodies work confused me.
why do they think that way? why do they jump to conclusions, why do they
cry, scream, talk to fast, talk to quiet, talk to much.. why do they ask so m
any questions? why? those answers, in all my searching, i have still not fou
nd. "mama can you finish the story now? the one about the little doe that l
ost her family in the snow storm?" i stopped in my tracks, my heart aching.
“ tell me that you love me.
i couldn't move, my ears and eyes all lay on the small child who has spoken
those words to her mother. my mouth moved to say something but i remain
ed silent as i always have. all i could hear next were the words of the moth
er as i listened from afar yet could hear every word clear as day. "oh dear..
i was hopping you would forget about that one.. it's not a very good story.."
my heart clenched at these words, i bit down on my lip and my mind spun.
"but as you request i will finish it. where we last left off, the poor little do
e was crying out for her mother. her little legs deep in the snow as she fum
bled about, snow stinging her eyes at this point. instead of them being a d
eep brown, they were more of a soft pink because of all the pure white sn
ow had diluted them of their natural color." i could feel my heart crying out.
-------------------------------------------------------“ that's a bitter sweet love..
"it was sad, she called and called, until her voice gave out and she could no
longer make a sound. she kept walking though, she kept trying to find some
small inkling of her family, but after the long hours and the constant barrag
e of snowy wind in her eyes, the poor little doe could no longer see. yet her
long elegant legs pushed on, and on, and on. until her hoof snagged on a ro
ot and she tumbled and fell. she found she could no longer stand.. there sh
e lay, unable to see, unable to speak, and unable to stand. but she was stil
l able to hear, and what she heard made her heart rise with joy. she heard
movement of something large in the tangle of twig bushes, she turned tow
ards the sound in hopes that it was her mother. though that poor doe, that
poor little doe all alone there in the storm, was wrong. now that poor little
doe.. she can no longer hear, nor see, nor cry out as that wolf came for her
in the endless white. that endless white that was now stained red." i felt h
ot tears running down my face now. she dies.. in the end that little doe di
es. and in that very moment my ears seemed to open up to the sounds around
me, the colors in the world before me seemed to brighten and dance, my vo
ice rose out of my throat, "no, i am alive!" but why?.. why did i rejoice in t
he death of that little doe?.. why did i?.. perhaps because i now know that
is not my story, as that story of that poor little doe has ended. and mine still
goes on. i am not that little doe, that died in the quiet of the snow.
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credits coding by nektar + gorgeous art by obliivious !! 
