[trans]

res

[Curious]

ｕｓｅｒｎａｍｅ
Curious

ｎａｍｅ
Cynthia

ｇｅｎｄｅｒ
female

ｅｙｅｓ
🌙

ｓｔｏｒｙ
There is little reason for me to look others in the eye when they rarely meet mine. Before I covered my face with my hair, it seemed my gaze only made people flinch. Their irises of vibrant color darted away as though my own pale ones chased them. In truth, they did, to a certain extent. Not in pursuit of intimidation, but in pursuit of a steady lock.
Your mothers always say to meet others' eyes. It is a sign of respect, crucial acknowledgment of fellow souls. Eyes are windows to the soul, after all. I was lead to believe that, because nobody could hold my gaze for long, nobody respected me. I thought that perhaps covering my face would prevent that.
The issue is that the element of mystery intrigues people. A few minutes after first meeting someone, post mindless introductory chatter, most tentatively ask something along the lines of, "Why do you cover your face?" I always refuse to answer. My stubbornness, however, is not a result of childish embarrassment, rather the fact that I am already aware of what their initial reaction will be once I inevitably give in and reveal my face. One can only witness startled, straying peeks so many times before growing tired of the cold, cowardly treatment.
Put simply, I have chosen to cover myself to avoid frightening the public with my seemingly emotionless, blank eyes.
I consider a small fraction of the situation lucky, despite the general inconvenience of it. They always look away just in time to miss the renewed anguish in my expression.

[eltonn]

username; save seedcakes
name; Hammond Johnson
gender; Male
edits; colored sclera, pupil color

"When you can't see, there is no point in showing them."
Hammond was never insecure about his eyes as a child. He may have been blind and had no use for them, but he wasn't hyper-aware of them like he is now. But back then was before he knew. And no one ever told him, at least, until the third grade. A fellow classmate, who had been known for having a big mouth, had blurted out 'Please stop staring at me! You look like a fish! It's weird!"

And it hurt. It really did. Hammond was too stunned to say anything that day. And so he simply stopped speaking to them. He began to worry about what others thought, fearing that they had the same low opinion. Do my friends think that of me? Are they really my friends if they do? What about my teachers? Or my parents? Do they love me? It got to him. Hammond let his hair grow out until he could feel it brushing his muzzle. And then he let it continue to grow. If they don't want to see me, they don't have to.

It still bothers him. That he's different. That it bothers others. That he can't fix it. Because that's Hammond's real problem. He can't fix the big thing about himself. His 'big fault,' as he would say. His gaze terrifies. He isn't a bad kalon; quite the contrary, just introverted. But the nightmare-ish look his green gaze gives him causes others to have a bad first impression. So he hides them. It doesn't help. Eventually, they all find out, in one way or another. Some stay, others leave, using different excuses about why they can't spend time with their 'friend.' Hammond tries not to let it show that it gets to him. Yet it does. He hasn't cut his hair since that terrible day in third grade.

He has trouble sleeping- insomnia, he says. Too much worrying, his doctor replies. His eyes are rheumy and red-rimmed, with permanent bags beneath them. He hasn't tried to revert them to a healthy standard. What's the point, if no one sees them anyway? He says. His eyes are his weak point- his biggest insecurity. He can't get over the harsh words that have been said to him over the years- and some old friends claim that he doesn't want to.

-

"Hi, Hammond!" Gale chirruped, setting her lunchtray down next to the night-colored kalon. The red-furred female slung herself onto the bench, crossing her legs and scowling at what passed for nutrition at the university. Of course, she could have bought real food from a restaurant, but that cost money, and this 'food' was free. She lifted a forkful to her mouth, mockingly grimacing at the taste. "They call this food? Bleauggh!"

A tall blue kalon, their friend North, dropped his tray across from Gale and Hammond. There was a distant look in his eyes, as well as his pawsteps moving in a slower and almost swaying manner. The other two kalons knew what that meant. "Yes, yes.." North muttered. "It's highly uncreative. Kalons need a bit more than this to survive.."

Gale sighed, rolling her eyes and grinning at Hammond. This setup was normal- once a day, five days a week, in fact. Gale complaining about the school's food, North off in his own mind half the time, and Hammond quietly listening to it all with the occasional comment. But today was different. The red female nudged Hammond, her gaze slightly concerned. "Hey, are you ok? You haven't touched your blackberrries." Hammond always brought fresh fruit from his little window garden for lunch- his weak stomach couldn't handle the muck they served for free.

Hammond shrugged her paw away. "...yeah. It's nothing." But that didn't stop Gale's concerned gaze.

"Oi, Hamm, if someone's bothering you, I've got a two-pound knuckle sandwich with their name on the wrapper, 'kay?" Hammond just nodded slowly, his muzzle angled down at his food. After a moment, once she was satisfied that Hammond was indeed okay, Gale turned the conversation to her favorite topic; Star Wars. She got North into it a bit, what with how he enjoyed worldbuilding and all, but Hammond still seemed distracted, staring at his paws.

"...do you think something's wrong with me?"

The question gave his two companions pause. North slowly shook his head, and Gale soon followed. It was an instinctual reaction- Gale and North were both well aware of Hammond's condition.

"Hammond," North began. "You're a very unique individual, yes, but that doesn't mean that something is wrong with you. Everyone has flaws." Hammond flared his nose. North noticed, and changed his manner of speaking to a much softer tone. "Hey, hey, Hamm, just take a deep breath and tell us what the problem is. We can't help if we don't know."

"That's just it! You know, but you do nothing!" Hamm burst out, standing in his seat and slamming his paws onto the table. Gale jumped up, something similar to fear flashing in her eyes. Hammond's fur lowered, regret washing up throughout his insides. "..I'm sorry.." He murmured, sitting back down. North blinked, putting out a paw to pat Hammond's arm.

"Hamm, we're here, if you need us. You can talk to us."

Hammond turned his head to the other side, not facing his friends. "...Are you only hanging out with me because you pity me? Or because I'm 'special,' and being friends with me makes you guys 'special,' too?"

A hurt expression crossed Gale's face, and although Hammond couldn't see it, he could tell that his words had cut deep by the way her voice rose in pitch. "What!? No! Hammond, why would you ever think that?! You're our best friend because you're awesome! And you can't argue against that, ok!? It's not because we think you're special or that we pity you! It's actually the opposite! I admire that you can stay strong, going through life with the crap you have to deal with! So straighten up and get a clue! We're your friends because we care about you!"

North nodded in agreement with Gale's words, his eyes clear, as he was not mentally in another place, thinking of his storybooks and faraway lands. "You're a good guy. Don't let them get to you, man."

Hammond nodded stiffly, his blind eyes now set on the table. Gale's breathing had settled down a bit now, and she looked to her friend. "Hamm, is this why you always hide your eyes? I read somewhere that insecurities often cause hiding actions..."

The dark male didn't respond, just shuffling uncomfortably into a new position. "...I've never actually seen your eyes."

That was Gale. She reached a paw up, brushing his silvery hair to the side. Hammond's front leg shot up, blocking her paw away. "No." Please. Don't. Don't look- you'll turn out like the rest. Leaving me, too disturbed to even look at me. I can't lose you, too. Gale paused, then moved her paw up again. Hammond stiffened, but he knew that Gale wouldn't let up, no matter how hard he tried. He let her sweep her paw across his face, tucking his hair behind his ears. His sightless, rheumy, red-rimmed eyes stared blankly back, and Hammond prepared for the recoil of disgust and terror. "...they're beautiful."

That wasn't the response he had expected. Hammond didn't know how to react. And his eyes filled with tears. They welled up from deep within, and Hammond hadn't known that they would come. But they did, and he felt a sob build up in his chest. He felt Gale wrap her arms around him in a hug, and moments later, North's joined hers. And through their arms, Hammond whispered. "...Th-thank you... thank you..."

[✧ 花chéngzhǔ.]

quiet mark

paraselenae
heterochromia
full moon/new moon
pearl
prose poetry

[Liliette]

Mark

[sighs_alot]

Just in case the gif doesn't work.

ＵＳＥＲＮＡＭＥ ; Sighs a lot
ＮＡＭＥ ; Vincent, alias Evermore
ＧＥＮＤＥＲ ; Male

ＥＹＥＳ;
People have long avoided my gaze, for they see the thing they fear the most... themselves.
My eyes have always been the main focus of my body, no matter how hard I tried to draw attention elsewhere it always came back to my eyes. It wouldn't be such a terrible thing if they didn't cause so much grief to the people who just wished to admire them.
"You have such beautiful eyes! Can I s..." Happiness seems to evaporate when I look them in the eyes. If seen from the front my eyes serve as mirrors... not to my soul but to others. Someone once told me that my eyes have a curse on them that turn people melancholy if they look at me, but I don't believe it. No. I think it's just the shock of suddenly seeing themselves. The disappointment that they don't look as beautiful as they thought they did, despite my ample compliments. To the lonely I am no one... making them feel even lonelier. To the downhearted, the sadness and self loathing they feel once catching a glimpse was too much for me to handle. I could not bare it. Empathy always gets the better of me. Most especially because I know there pain... I've suffered that, I still suffer that. But I have learned to see flaws as something to behold rather than hide, even my own.
As an artist I can't help but find something delightful in everyone and everything. We are such beautiful creatures...
Maybe one day people can look in my eyes and see their own beauty instead of their flaws.
But for now I hide my eyes behind a curtain of hair, only putting it up once I'm alone or with close friends.

[néktar]

mark <33

[Anza]

absolutely gorgeous Kalon.
Good luck to everyone who's trying out!

[Miavinn]

☾ Username: Biminy
☾ Name: Caderyn
☾ Gender: male
☾ Eye design: ---
☾ Writing: Cade is an astronomer. He has a healthy respect for the earthly studies, but he only has eyes for the stars. Cade is exceedingly knowledgeable about many of the burning balls of fire and their placement in the universe, but his only obsession is the star of our solar system, the sun. Despite being born during a solar eclipse, in the absence of light, Cade pays patronage to the mother of life. His head's not in the clouds, it belongs to the stars.

[Izuku]

ooooh boy mark!!!