- entering for the peaches kit!
username: jello
name: rebecca-jane ;)
personality in 3 emojis: ๐ต ๐ ๐
moodboard Link: wip!!
100 word description(optional): wip!!
1. It's quite pretty outside today, almost like something from a scene of a zombie horror movie, right before the zombies crawl over the hills with the sky in various muddy shades of pink and purples. It's cool outside, but I decided to take my morning walk in shorts anyways. I should probably care more about my well-being.
I didn't see anything unusual on my walk. Just a few interesting leaves and curious beetles-- or is it me that is curious? The world will never know. I'd like to keep it that way.
2. Had nothing unusual for breakfast. Just chocolate chip pancakes, like every morning. You know, most people I know at school say they're jealous over such a delicacy. Really, though, is it much to be jealous of, when I have nothing but that every morning? I see their point, but I don't think they realize how disgusting it is to me, after almost a year of this. It is my own choice, though.
That's how he made it for me, every morning.
3. I do not like glancing into the mirror as I get ready for classes. I see films where women stare into the mirror, trying on clothing or makeup, but I never understood it. Maybe it is because I do not understand the desire to constantly see one's self. Yet again, I never really cared how I looked. He always told me I was beautiful, and I believe him. Don't get me wrong-- I do not think I am absolutely radiant, but that is what he told me, so it is what I will believe. I need no proof otherwise.
4. The stroll to classes is a boring and short one. Once I arrived, I did nothing out of the ordinary. Sat down, retrieved my textbook, and began to take notes. The first class today was astronomy, which I did find interest in, despite my lack of expression. Space always reminds me of him, however. He always told me to look to the stars whenever I miss him, and I have been doing such ever since he has departed this world. I hope to study more of the stars, just for him.
5. The next class wasn't so intriguing. It was just maths. I was never interested in the maths, it was too black and white for my tastes. He told me I had natural talent in this field, however, and that even though I didn't like it, I should still keep up my practices. Ever since he has passed away, I have been doing everything he told me to. I wish I listened before the accident. Maybe I'd know for sure if he were proud of me. Maths ended quickly, and I only achieved a multitude of doodles in my notebook.
6. As usual, I spend my lunch eating alone, under a willow tree by the creek. It is not too far from the university, and here I spend most of my afternoons with only ducks for company. It's quite peaceful. Lately, however, a small group has been visiting nearby. I remember he told me to make some friends while I'm here, and to take advantage of every chance I get. It wasn't often that someone as young as me got the opportunity to attend university early. I felt as if that were more of a reason to not make friends, however.
7. The last class of the day is chemistry. It's always the same stuff over, just mixing various chemicals together in exact amounts to get exact results. I never found interest in this, either. I feel as if this will be my downfall, that I have little interest in the world around me. My mind wanders to the world outside our own, in a place of mystery and uncertainty. It is there, in my mind, that he still exists. I miss him-- I want him back. Maybe someday, I'll find another world where he is. He is all I had.
8. It's different to return home, with the house completely silent. I am still used to the sound of his quiet singing and humming filling the house. Strange, that I still half expect it each day, even though it has been almost 3 months now. I suppose it will go away someday. I decide to sit down and work on some assignments in attempt to do something useful with my time. Maybe then I'll find motivation somewhere in the passages of my books. He always used to scold me for not doing assignments on time. I miss that.
9. As I prepare dinner, I recall times when he would make food for us. It was difficult for him at first, it being just him and I. I had, and still have, quite horrid cooking skills. We would practice our cooking together, and we eventually learned, although his results were always better than mine. He tried his hardest to be the best he could be, and he was always amazing at it, even if he didn't see it. I only wish I were better at letting him know that, while I still could. It's too late now.
10. Nighttime is always when I remember him the most. It is when the world is silent. This was always his favourite time of the day-- midnight. He would always sit by my bed and tell me stories of his life, and never were they boring. I wish I had written them down earlier. That is my project now: to write down all the stories he told me, even if it takes me years. I speak to him often, before I lay down to rest.
"I miss you. I think I shall sleep now, though. Goodnight, father."
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