Username: ☁Lady Raincloud☁
Name: Otterfang
Gender: Female
Rank: Warrior
Age: 19 moons
Clan Thread: NocturneClan Prompt:Otterfang felt the same sinking feeling she'd felt every morning since the day she'd gotten lost. How long ago was that now, even? Two months? Times sure flies, even when your not having fun.
The skinny she-cat took a look at herself. She was already much healthier than she had been. Before, she'd been skin and bones, half starved and desperate. Her fur had been matted and now she was sleek and clean, all her scars already healing up well. It was a miracle she survived her fall down the trench, let alone long enough for the clan to find her. It was Crimsonsparrow who, in particular, dragged her out- she felt a slightly warm feeling as she thought of him. At least he didn't make her nervous.
She heard the voices of cats outside, laughing, and singing snippets of songs. It was the morning meal and everyone was at their happiest. It was always like this. She felt a stab of regret that she couldn't bring herself to enjoy it like her new family did. It pained her to admit it, but, despite all they'd done for her she hated being around so many cats. After being raised alone with no contact to any cats in a small human's apartment, this was all too new to her, and she nearly let out a growl or a hiss every time anyone passed, or even just glanced, at her.
Yet they were so kind! They'd saved her from certain death! She felt loathing overcome her as she sat up, and it was loathing for herself. She was so petty and stupid! Yet she couldn't help it!
She nearly jumped as the figure of Crimsonsparrow poked his head into her den, and, despite not doing so, she still let out a startled hiss. Crimsonsparrow flinched slightly, but gave her a reassuring smile. In his jaws he held up a squirrel, which he placed at the younger's cats feet before stepping aside.
She stared down at it. This was another thing. She hated the taste of wild caught prey- she knew it was unnatural to be like that but, besides maybe fish and some birds, she didn't like it. Yet it was this very food which kept her healthy and away from her previous, half-starved state. She was so ungrateful and she knew it, so she forced herself to smile and sniff the squirrel.
"Er, thanks." She said politely. Crimsonsparrow gave her a look which told her he knew what she was thinking.
"... I'm sorry." She apologized in a mumble. "I know what your thinking... yesterday I should... I shouldn't have snapped like that, okay? I just feel so uneasy here... not to mention I'm practically useless. I can't even hunt properly without scaring half the forest!"
"Don't be too sure about that. Your new, you'll learn yet." Crimsonsparrow said quickly, his smile as usual side and kind. "And your still healing... give it some time. You'll get there."
"But... I don't feel right." The she-cat mumbled, her face twisting into a frown as she spoke. "I use up prey, space, bedding, herbs... and I don't even feel I'm grateful enough. I don't... like other cats. I hate myself for it... I owe you so much."
Otterfang fell silent. Crimsonsparrow did not reply either. Instead he got to his paws. "You were very isolated." He pointed out. "Give it time."
He left.
The words, so simple, yet so hard for her to accept. Give it time.
Yes, she'd give it time. Time to help her heal. Time to learn fundamental survival skills from these cats. Yes, she'd try her best to repay them. But her loyalty wasn't here, and for it, well- she felt like a traitor.