There's something in their past that they are running from. What is it, and why are they afraid to face the consequences? Is it something they would change if given the chance to go back? How would they change it, and how would that affect the future?
Ask me all you want, any question you can think of. I will answer it as honestly as i can... but be warned that there is much I will not answer. I cannot, for I simply don’t remember.
Delve, follow me now. Visit my first memory. Seeeee the beginning, the only part I remember.Beginning wrote:Deep breaths, I thought to myself, body trembling slightly. I could feel that my breathing was still shaky. The adrenaline was burning through my veins, and I ached. I wanted to run more, to never stop running... I wanted to never run again. A branch snapped to my left and my breath hitches in my throat.
In. Out. In. Out. Slowly. Don’t move. Don’t talk. No noise. Nothing out of the ordinary.
My breathing finally calmed, though my mind was the farthest thing from it. I could hear their footsteps coming closer- my heart was hammering furiously in my chest, I was sure they could hear it. I tried my best to be brave, but I couldn’t help it, and my eyes shut as their shadows grew visible before me. I stopped breathing as I desperately hoped that they wouldn’t see me. That they’d move on. That, somehow, I’d make it out of this.
“We lost the kid. Boss isn’t going to be happy.. he wanted this one especially bad- could’ve been dead useful... or at least, more useful dead.”
They began to move off, and my breathing resumed with a gasp. I wish, more than anything, that I hadn’t held my breath then. That I hadn’t had to start breathing once more, that I hadn’t done so with a gasp. They stopped moving as soon as I gasped, and I knew i had failed. I didn’t wait for them to come back to look, I just started running again. I heard them behind me, their larger footsteps sounding in time with my heart. They were faster, but I was small, the forest was dense. I was nimble. I was sobbing. I wanted the chase to be over. But I knew deep down, the chase would never end.
Do you understand now? Why I run? Wouldn’t you, if that was all you knew of yourself? Waking somewhere dark, only to be threatened. Threatened by scum when I ran to freedom. Chased now, chased forever. Why? Why does this happen so? How I wish that I knew!
But I do not.
There is no point in wasting wishes. I must simply accept that this, this is how it must be for me.
I am on the run, in the past, right now. Forever. My life consists of trying to escape from those who wish me dead or worse for something I could not help but do. My crime? Existing. A crime I don’t dare stop committing. One I simply cannot bear to regret. I would not change my past, even clueless to what it may hold, for if I did, I’m sure I wouldn’t be me. I know that I am.. broken. That my beginning was not a pleasant one. But if I changed it, I would not have my mind, my courage. If it was better, I would not have my instincts. And in this world... I need my instincts.
Without them I would not survive.
You may ask, why am I afraid? I don’t look... harmless, now do I? And I am not. I am sure, if only one of them came for me, I would have no trouble destroying him. I am sure that I could easily destroy them as they long to do to me.
But what about me, then?
How would I change if I began to hunt them, as they hunt me? Would I still be able to face myself, knowing that I had ripped a soul away from its body far before its time? For reasons other than absolute necessity? Perhaps one day I will be desperate enough that they leave me no choice but to do so. But for now? I will not face them, the cowards, the scum. For all I know, they are simply following orders. I wouldn’t dare risk ripping away a child from their parents, forcing them to be orphaned.
Forcing them to be like me.
Unknowing.
Scared.
Alone.
No, I am better than that. I am better than them all. I will not stoop to their level.
Besides. They, whether they know it or not, have made me strong. As we continue this chase, this game, I find I am starting to enjoy it. It becomes easier for me to escape them, to lead them on fruitless chases. I find myself growing as they attempt to take me down.
Poor dears, they do not know.
They attempt to destroy me, and yes, I run, but no longer do I do so from fear. The threat they perceived me to be is no more, for I am far, far more powerful.
Now, I do it because there’s little more i could do where I would not lose myself.
Now, I run, because I find it fun.
Now, I run, because the alternative is to fight.
If I fight? They would find me unstoppable.
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