November 23rd 2012, 6:58am
Every day it's the same; wake up, panic attacks, then cry myself to sleep. It's not a great life, I know, but I can't escape. I haven't properly left the house in over four years - only escape attempts which have failed - nor gone a day without insults thrown at me. I manage to educate myself, but that means I'm not as smart as many others my age.I can tell my parents didn't want me; my only toys are a broken computer hard-drive, a metal wagon wheel, and a charred set of Russian nesting dolls that smelled like junkyard. I found out the smell was coming from a family of roaches living inside. My bedroom has no carpet, just a few stained old doormats. My father owns a library and he always throws books in the trash, which i then salvage, but at least I have something to read, or block the drafts with. The window is shattered from escape attempts. My mother fitted a metal cage from the garden over the empty window. The "bed" is a heap of books with a doormat over it as the mattress, some old drapes as a blanket and a stack of, usually damp, paper as a pillow. I'd leave if I could.
December 25th, 2012, 12:02am
I haven't slept yet, so I decided I would decorate my bedroom. I have used all kinds of items which blew into my window, and broken glass ornaments salvaged from the trash. It's not exactly appealing decor; but it'll do.---------
10:09am
My parents decided to get me a present. They handed me a sack. I was excited at what would be inside. There was nothing.
March 12th 2013, 8:57pm
Today was a very eventful day. I received the best present a child who hates her parents could get; no more parents. When I woke up there was a note on my door. It read; "We're leaving. Care for yourself, you'll be fine. We aren't coming back."
January 12th 2014
They were telling the truth. I haven't seen them since the morning they left me that note. I still haven't left the house, as I realised how afraid of the real world I am. I have, however, taken a step up in living; my parents left everything -besides their clothes- so I've taken their carpet and furniture and my room is looking pretty good. I also found another note; from only my mother, written in 2007 - when they were planning to leave me. It read; "Goodbye my dear child. Your father doesn't you, and will dislike me if I love you like a normal mother would. I have been wanting to leave for a while, to prevent you from the harsh life that you most definitely don't deserve. We may come back and visit, but who knows? Goodbye". I picked up the letter and threw it in the fireplace. Part of me wants her to return. Alone. And see what she is like without him here.
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