name: Fernweh ~ “Fernweh” is a German word for “farsickness,” the opposite of homesickness
prompt: One of Fernweh's earliest memories of joy was on a trip as a child. She can no longer remember where her and her siblings were going, or even where they were coming from. But she remembers the
feeling.
She stared, longingly out the window, the trees on the outskirts of the small town rushing past. She felt the beginnings of a dull aching in her chest. Not pain. Simply a feeling. She watched the small, ivy covered houses drift by, and her aching grew. She saw the small shops, the other kals walking down the streets, and she couldn't contain her aching anymore. She let out a sigh. She felt as if no one would understand her, the deep, overwhelming feeling of familiarity and nostalgia. But she had never been here. She had never set foot on these sidewalks, climbed these trees, smelled these flowers. And yet, she found herself feeling at home, the way a grown up remembers their childhood home with a sense of longing and desire.
Her heart called out to the town, feeling drawn to it, at peace and content. She pressed her nose up against the window and her breath fogged the glass. This felt right. The fog, covering the town in a blurry haze, as if looking at a memory, or a dream. She wished so dearly someone could understand how she felt, the longing of a home that has never existed. Perhaps it was the ideas she created, the life she dreamt up as the buildings faded into the distance. No matter what it was, she felt the feeling slowly subside the further away they got. She turned her head back, catching the last few seconds of the tallest steeple of the town on the top of the hill as they drove past the point of sight.
To this day, one of the things Fenweh loves the most is that feeling. The feeling of belonging in a place you have never been, of experiencing a waking dream, the sense of hominess in a foreign area in the way you can sense a bond in a stranger. She travels often in search of that feeling, hoping, maybe one day, she will find a place of her own that she aches and pines for every day. To one day live in a place she feels a longing for, whose very essence pulls at her heart, her soul cries out for the sense of belonging, the sense of safety.
It is a beautiful feeling, one may say, to feel at home in places you cannot stay.
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