[Rhubarbski]

Welcome to the Euphorian Retired Racehorse Project
Euphorian Thoroughbreds are a rare string of the Thoroughbred breed. They come from a single farm simply called “Euphoria” that has horses with mutated genes. These allow them to be able to possess any realistic coat or markings. Everything else about the sub-type is the same. Long, strong legs, a powerful hind, and great speed. Their eyes are soft and the breed is incredibly smart, if not a bit goofy. They love kids and have the rare ability to excel in any discipline. They can grow from 15hh-18hh, though usually somewhere in the middle.
The horses readopted through the Euphorian Retired Racehorse Project are looking for a new loving home and a new job. They’ve tried racing and have either retired or decided the sport wasn’t for them. Either way, they are ready for the next chapter in their life. Some of these horses will come with a little training already, and will have their new discipline already determined. Although others you’ll get to pick how they move forwards!

Username;; metanoia.
Show Name: ahs into the shallows
Barn Name: sharky
Gender: stallion
Age: five years
Height: 16.2hh
Eye Color: Ice Blue
Phenotype: Fleabitten Grey [chestnut base]
Genotype: ee/aa/gg
Mane Type: Maneless
Halter: blueish gray with silver brasses
Discipline: show jumping
Breeding Info: /
Edit List:
- Trimmed Tail

[HarperTheKiv]

Username;;Ghouly_
Show Name: Falling Grace
Barn Name:Icarus
Gender: Stallion
Age:6 years 2 months
Height:17hh
Halter:gold, white hardware
Discipline:Show jumping
Competition:
I got fired from my job at the bank today...

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Was between that, what do u call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto and what do u call a fake noodle? An impasta.

All some of my favourite recent corny jokes that made me giggle XD

[metanoia.]

Username;; metanoia.
Show Name: ahs into the shallows
Barn Name: sharky
Gender: stallion
Age: five years
Height: 16.2hh
Halter: blueish gray with silver brasses
Discipline: show jumping
Competition:

𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦.
𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘦𝘴.

"𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘢, 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘮 𝘪 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳?"
"𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯 𝘢 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥."
"𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘢, 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘮 𝘪 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘧?"
"𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯 𝘢 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘧 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥."
𝐵𝐿𝐷𝐻𝐽𝐺𝐹𝐼𝐷𝑈𝑆𝐹𝐺𝑊𝐼𝐷𝑈𝐺𝐹𝐷𝑈𝐻𝐺𝐷!"
"𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘬!"

[hellenistic]

Username;; berzerker.
Show Name: Denim in Distress
Barn Name: Damien
Gender: Stallion
Age: 8 years
Height: 17 hh
Halter: Cream w/ Rust Orange Boarders
Discipline: Working Cow Horse
Competition:

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "why the long face? "

Dismayed by the bartenders poor grasp of equine biology, the horse leaves.

[blackhoeses]

Username;; blachoeses
Show Name: All the Kings Horses
Barn Name: Frank
Gender: Stallion
Age: 4 years
Height: 16.3hh
Halter: light brown with gold hardware
Discipline: show jumping
Competition: He wanted to find a man who wasn't afraid of his wife and give him public honors and lavish him with gifts so other men may follow suit.

After some brainstorming in the court the king announced to his subjects that " if a man comes forward and publically say that he is NOT AFRAID of his wife, then that man will win the best horse from the king's stables".

The king waited with with baited breath for someone to come forward. Days passed but nobody came forward. The king was about to lose all hope then suddenly a man came in his court saying that "he was NOT AFRAID of his wife".

The king was over the moon thinking that there is indeed a real man in his kingdom. He called all his subjects in a big Field and introduced them to the man who was definitely NOT AFRAID of his wife. Everyone applauded in awe as king presented him with the best red horse in his stable.

The man disappointingly looked at the horse. The king was confused. "What is it? You don't like the horse? "

The man replied, " actually, if you don't mind your highness, my wife asked me to bring a white horse
"

[RhysiesPiecies]

Username;; RhysiesPiecies
Show Name: One Small Step for Man
Barn Name: Apollo
Gender: Stallion
Age: 9 years
Height: 16.3 hh
Halter: Surprise me!
Discipline: Show Jumping
Competition:
A tall man walks into a bar.
His short friend laughs at him and ducks under it.

[DigitalLinx]

Username;;JinxedStudios
Show Name: Beware a Frozen Heart
Barn Name: Kris
Gender: Stallion
Age: 7yrs
Height: 16hh
Halter: Pale Blue
Discipline: Showjumping
Competition: I apologive ahead of time for the horrible horse puns you are about to see (I also didn't make these, I am not a joke maker)
"I appreciate your unbridled enthusiasm... But it's a bit much..."
"I wasn't planning to take a vacation, but I did. It was a spur of the moment"
"Sore throat? You sound a little horse"
"The band Foals has got a colt following"
"A horse walks into a bar. The barman says, 'Hey.' The horse says, 'You read my mind!' "
Ok I'll stop the torture

[Willowsoftley]

Username;; Willowsoftley
Show Name:
Barn Name:
Gender: Stallion
Age: 6 years
Height: 16.3 hh
Halter: Cobalt
Discipline: Show Jumping
Competition:
This isn’t rlly a joke but it’s kinda funny
So when I was little I thought that Cheerios (the cereal) were donut seeds and I tried to plant them in our backyard

[pipsnseeds]

Username;; d a w n s c a p e
Show Name: A Storm of Rage and Wildness
Barn Name: Thowra (wind)
Gender: Stallion
Age: 12
Height: 18 hh
Halter: White, with black buckles
Discipline: Dressage
Competition:

Three drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew they were, drunk, so he turned the engine on and off again.
He turned around, and told them he'd reached their destination. The first guy paid, the second guy thanked him, butthe third guy slapped him. The driver, shocked and thinking they'd discovered him, asked, "What was that for?"
The third guy replied, "CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME, you nearly killed us!"

[dubai.]

Username;; Dubai
Show Name: AH Storms Overhead
Barn Name: Hurricane
Gender: Stallion
Age: 7
Height: 17 hh
Halter: Icy blue w/ silver hardware
Discipline: Show jumping
Competition:

How do you make a small fortune with a show jumping horse, a trainer, and yourself? You start with a large fortune. (Badum, shhhh)