I’ve never been proud of my past, and it’s something I hate to talk about. But I suppose I could make a one time exception for you.
You see, the barn I was born at was loosing money faster than they could put it in their pocket. Once I came along, I was sold to the highest bidder due to my bloodlines and dashingly handsome coat. I had a lot of potential for showing, so I was wroth a pretty penny. The barn owners only had their eyes on the cash, and not so much who I was being sold to. Which ended up with me being bought by a man who leased us horses out to other humans. That was his business, and boy did he make some glorious cash off of it. None of it went towards us and our needs. The only thing that man cared about was making sure we could preform for the leasers. It wasn’t too bad then. Sure my mouth would hurt one day, my sides the next, and then my rump... it was endless circle. None of us went to sleep without some part of our body screaming bloody murder for help. But I was young, full of hope, and strong. I was convinced that I could handle anything he threw at me.
As the years ticked passed, I aged, and my interests changed. I stopped caring about the man, and instead my eyes drifted towards the other mares in the barn. They were all beautiful, but I’d constantly find myself coming back to the smallest mare in the herd. She had the purest perlino coat that I’ve ever seen, and not to mention those sky blue eyes. Unlike the other horses, she had no fight in her. She just took what she was given and carried on her merry little way. At first she was shy when I approached her, but soon after we found a comfortable conversation. She was so bright and wise. And most of all calming. Just being near her soothed my tattered body. We were friends but I wanted more. I got jealous when other stallions came sniffing her way, and protective whenever I saw the man with his whip. I never got to tell her how much she meant to me though.
It all happened when I was being returned by a leaser, as I was walking off of the trailer I saw it. There was my white beauty laying on the ground, her body littered with red marks, and the man standing above her with his whip. She didn’t make a sound when that dreadful thing made contact with her body. I refused to watch any longer. The anger and hatred I concealed erupted through my very core. I ran to save her but I was too late. She was gone.
I didn’t hesitate in knocking the man out cold, and I proceeded to lay with her that night, despite knowing she moved on to a better place. With her, a little piece of me left my soul. After that I grew wild and furious whenever I just saw the sight of a human. That was the beginning of an even darker path. One that I was sure I’d never return from.
Due to my violent nature, I was to be sent to slaughter. But the world wasn’t done with me yet. One of the leasers finally realized that the man mistreated us, and sent some horse rescue group to take us away from him. Most of us were rehabilitated and rehomed, others like me were too damaged. But atlas they still didn’t give up on me. I grew to spend most of my days in a run-in pasture alone.
Well not entirely alone, as there was this pasture next to mine. A perlino champagne frame overo mare, had the same eyes of my white beauty, lived in the pasture. It hurt to see her, as I could only see my lost love staring back at me through those eyes. Unwillingly I learned this mare was named
Cloud. She persisted on knowing my name, but I’d always brush her off and give her a rude comment or ignore her. She didn’t need to befriend me. I couldn’t accept the fact that my life could turn around, so I wouldn’t try. I didn’t think it’d be possible, like it was destined for me never to be happy. But Cloud proved me wrong time and time again. She came to calling me Vuelta, a Spanish word for return. She always talked to me as through she knew me before I snapped, like she could bring the old me back. Return the missing piece of my soul. At first it was annoying, but no matter how rude I was, she just proved to be more stubborn.
Over the coarse of a year I had let in and started to see her as Cloud, and not as my white beauty.
I’d always be grateful for Cloud continuously being able to prove me and my ego wrong. Thanks to her I am finally on the road to redemption and I can be somewhat happy. It’s been hard, don’t get me wrong there. I take one step forward and two steps back, but seeing humans no longer have me doing tantrums. I don’t even mind them being close, I just don’t do contact. Not yet at least. Cloud has confidence that I’ll get over it with time. I can only hope she’s right, then maybe one day I can be somebody she deserves.