| TheComfortCorner | v.5

[[deleted user 39490]]

I just keep screwing myself over. All I do is procrastinate and procrastinate. Every school year has been the same. In the first quarter, I'm so excited. I do everything on time, go to school happy and beaming and aim for perfect scores. By second quarter I'm settling for B's and skipping an assignment or two. Third quarter is when I do the bare minimum needed to pass and end up just not doing assignments because I don't feel like it. Fourth quarter? I don't even care. The worst part? I know it's screwing me over. I really do. The problem is that while I'm conscious of the problem, I can't fix it. I've gotten to the point where I'm too lazy to do my homework so instead I wake up at 1AM the day it's due to do it. I wrote a whole persuasive speech worth most of my grade in English at 1AM. Luckily, I passed because I'm good at writing, but every other class... I do it every morning. I'm usually able to go back to sleep after I finish the assignment, but I wake up so tired that it takes two cups of coffee to keep me going through the day.

But that's not even the worst part. I've gotten to the point where I wake up at 1AM and hit the snooze button. I then wake up in the morning at the usual time for school and blow off the assignment. I then get a zero for it, and don't care. I can't fix it either. I tell myself it's bad, I tell myself to do my work, but I can't. I get distracted by every little thing, I feel no motivation. My therapist said it may be ADD and that there's a medication that will fix it. It worked for my brother, and that it would work for me.

I'm on board for it, don't get me wrong. I want this, I want to be able to do things. To keep projects going for more than a few weeks before losing interest and moving on. It's just that my mom (what a surprise) won't get it for me. She says it's too expensive while she buys 300$ of exported tea every month.

I don't want to fail, but that's where I'm going. How am I going to be successful if I can't even keep a train of thought for more than a few minutes? It's stressing me out and I don't know.

I'm sorry that I've been here a lot, but things just keep getting worse for me. After 2015, the worst year of my life, I thought that things could only get better. But they're not.

I don't know what to do. None of my old friends talk to me anymore because they've moved on and I don't have any friends at my new school. I literally have no friends. I'm so alone and scared.

[MoonStone00]

Please just ignore me.

Im not doing what i used to love much anymore.
I literally sit in my house all day and clean and then nothing. I color every once in a while... thays about it. I havent even been doing any gofting here on cs like i normally would. I literally am so focused on loosing weight by eating right that i almost wanna eat junk all the time. i have 2 good meals a day and th other is usally full of junk. Im doing better health wise with eating better but im so disappointed in myself for not getting my desired results quickly.

My special needs sister is having more break through sekzures again and as a result she gets tored and cranky and noncompliant. Lately she wont let me help her or give her stuff. I feel almost rejected by her. (To put it in persepectove she literally functions on half a normal brain. Shes lucky to be able to walk at all and even speak the few words she can. im gateful shes able to do these things but even earlier this week she told me "I no like you" when she didnt get her way.)

Then theres the fact that im not able to see my boyfriend at all much because of his school and job. I miss him incredibly. I miss having him hold me.

I miss being me. I really miss all my friendz i havent really talkes to all cs and i just kind of feel forgotten about and useless. Ive literally have only talked to 3 people here on cs in the last two days for a short while. I know they do care and all my friends i know they care its jusr idk. I dont know how to even put into words how i feel right now. I just reallt miss being myself and really happy.
I cant even play my favorite video game for long before i lose intrest in it. I just cant mentallt wrap myself up intonlike a good spot right now.

and then theres the fact that my dad wont even try to acknowledge me. He doesnt live with me or anytbing and has never really been here in my life for me and just thinkinf about it is causing me to get anxiety. He never calls me and tells me her loves me or even try to text. I dont feel like i matter at all to him. I probably never mattered to him.

Now i feel like i cant breathe and my throat is closing in and im sorry. shfhe skkzx ejnxnc

Im just a burden.

[haadez_]

I'm losing it.

[abxy]

I just feel like I can't do anything right

[trans]

why am i even trying anymore. i want to stop existing.

[medusa]

i was having an okay day until i was suddenly in so much pain i had to spend the rest of the day bed bound.
chronic illness sucks, i hate feeling so helpless all the time

[gently]

i'm in a weird sort of state right now and i don't know how to fix it. about a year ago i used to love doing all sorts of things: getting in to new tv shows or anime, playing video games, drawing, sitting around a listening to music. but recently i just feel really off. i try to do all those things that used to make me really happy and i don't feel anything at all. i've been staying awake until like 2am and waking up at noon. i mostly just sit in my room all day and only leave to get food.

last year was really rough for me, i had a lot of family stuff going on and school was a pain so that might have something to do with it but i don't know. i know that my parents have noticed because they always ask me if i'm alright and of course i say yes but i'm so not sure..

does anyone have any advice on how i can start feeling like myself again? i miss being happy :c

[lαмe ѕнeep ѕιlvα]

I can never keep someone with me. I've tried for a while, but they always leave for a different girl. I am short, geeky, and ugly. Nobody likes me except two people. I am called disgusting and stupid yet I get straight As. My mom yells at me and my brother abuses me. I have nobody to turn to. Every time I confess my feelings my crush leaves me. I have had my heart broken too many times. I feel so numb, the pain still aching. I wish I could have somebody to love me. To love me for who I am. Even if I am ugly and short and tacky. My mom yells at me whenever my grade drops a tiny bit and if I don't want to eat something she makes me. I wish I still had wings. Mine were clipped. I wish I were free. I feel like a parrot. I only want somebody who I can trust and lean on. Nobody believes me, I have pimples, I'm short I'm just imperfect. Every one else is tall and loved. What makes me unlovable?

[breadstick]

could someone please pm me? preferrably someone who is okay with the lgbtq+ community, i just need to rant ^^;

[shim]

May i get a pm too please, also preferably with someone okay with the lgbtq+ community too?