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by kiwikweenie » Thu Dec 31, 2015 4:14 pm
Dismal. wrote:| Just need to vent |
I used to be able to draw. I really did. Looking back I was decent.. And if I had continued I would be even better.
But I didn't. I stopped and gave up because I was ashamed and embarrassed that my art wasn't good eqnugh and I just.. Stopped drawing. I'm sure part of it had to do with the fact that I started online school, but I can't just say I was lazy.
Today I was listening to music and I had this sudden urge to draw. Im sure you know what I'm talking about.And I did. And I was absolutely horrible, no where near were I used to be, and I am crushed.
I took my one talent and ruined it. I have no other stills. I'm completely useless and have no function.
If I could go back in time I would.. I didn't want this.. I feel like nothing
hey, no one picks up a pencil from a long break of drawing and suddenly create a masterpiece. don't stop now, keep doing it. get back to the level you were at. if you draw, even just a doodle, everyday, you will improve. maybe you'll be at a different level than what you were!! but don't lose hope just because your art doesn't look the same, its just going to take a bit to get back in the swing of things. it doesn't happen overnight after all. <3

kiwi | she/her | trade me!
previously chargebolt !!
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kiwikweenie
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by Smoogiepie » Thu Dec 31, 2015 5:16 pm
I decided not to wear make up today. My day was going fine... I was walking in a store, then I walked by a mirror. I made the mistake of looking over and seeing myself. I immediately felt ashamed and disgusted. My skin is so horrible. I just don't know what's wrong with it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel so embarrassed talking to people, all I can do is stare at my feet. The guy at the checkout was so nice to me... which made me feel worse because I feel like he was only being so nice because he saw my face and felt bad for me.
I can't describe how ugly and worthless I feel, all because of the skin on my face! I think that maybe if I had good skin, I would be more outgoing, prettier, and happier. But I have to live every day like this.
Every night before bed I wash my face, and it looks so horrible, I want to cry. A lot of times I will cry. This happens every single night. Tonight is especially bad... I feel like I can't even live with myself anymore. I hate living in my skin. I want to cut it off with a knife.
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Smoogiepie
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