by [deleted user 39490] » Thu Dec 17, 2015 9:56 am
I literally have zero friends in real life at my new school. I'm not over exaggerating. I know that it's hard at first when you move, and that you're not really expected to make friends for a while, but second quarter is ending, and I don't know anyone. You know that movie moment when that kid is chosen last in P.E., and no one knows their name so they just point? That LITERALLY happened to me in P.E. today. Yep.
I sit in the back of class, alone with only my music. It wouldn't be too bad except that everyone is joking and having fun, and I sit alone. In a matter of fact, I had two trips last week. One to a Nursing Home for band, in which I sat alone on the bus and walked alone and silent. Then one on Friday where we were out all day. Yep, no one to walk with.
I hate being a military kid. "Oh, but you see so many places!" people say, "Oh, you meet new people!" Yeah, you do. But you also give up seeing the friends you had there, the house, the life, everything. You just pack it up and go.
I've moved 8 times and, just for reference, I'm not old enough to drive.
Yes, I can keep in contact with my other friends from other places, but it's different. They all tell me what's happening, and I laugh. Then I realize that I'm not part of it anymore, and cry. Literally cry.
I don't know what to do. I'm too shy to walk up to anyone, and no one wants to come to me. I'll probably only be here a year anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter whether or not I have friends.
I hate it so much.
On another note, I get to take the Vanderbilt in January. What's that? A test to see how ADD you are. I've known I've had ADD, and honestly, it doesn't really matter. I'm not ashamed or anything. But I have to take a test to see whether I need medication, and honestly, I'm hoping I do.
I can't stick to anything! I get interested for a week or two, then suddenly lose interest and move on. I mean, look at my adoptables. I haven't done any for months, and leave it to the artists. I've fallen out of RPing. I've fallen out of doing art.
I've fallen out of school.
I no longer have the motivation or attention span to do school.
I don't know what to do.
Why am I so stupid.
I hate myself so much.