hqmary wrote:Okay, taking your review into account, the new and improved Angelpaw!
Image/Description: A white cat with watery blue eyes
Name: Frostpaw
Gender: female
Clan: Mossclan
Rank: apprentice
Personality/Skills: Frostpaw is good with kits, and plans to have some of her own with her crush, the sassy Pikepaw. She is bullied by other cats for her deafness. Frostpaw knows that other cats consider her lower and unfit to be warrior because she is deaf, but doesn't know how to prove them wrong. She has better senses of touch and smell to make up for her blindness. Using these, she is an all right hunter. She usually gives her prey to the queens, and will play with the kits afterwards.
Important Notes: She hates the sight of cat blood, making her useless in battle. It doesn't help her image among the rest of the clan, either.
Since this is the same character, I won't judge the name, just the personality!
Character Assessment: I always feel so weird approving changes that I suggested...
Well, anyway, she seems good! I'm not so confident about the bullying thing, since a Clan is built to give cats a better chance at life, and disabled cats would be just as welcome to make something of themselves, but the rest seems fine.
Also, you mentioned blindness, but I'm fairly certain that's an error.
Character Suggestions: Perhaps change the bullying to patronizing/condescending. They likely wouldn't directly be cruel to her, but I wouldn't be shocked if some of the cats overcompensated for her or babied her because they were so certain that she couldn't achieve as much as the other cats, which might have messed her up for the future (leaving her less skilled with hunting and with a distaste for blood).