Hi okay so this is a excerpt of something I'm writing. Curious as to whether its written decently and flows good? You won't understand whats going on, sorry, but I'm just looking for a nice grammar check.
I gripped the wooden chair in front of me, ignoring the splinters jabbing into my hand. Up ahead was my worst nightmare, staring down from the old stage and repeating my name into the microphone. She was everyone's, actually. A symbol of our awful futures to come.
"Sadie?" She let out a coughing noise, and flung her black hair behind her shoulder. I wanted to make myself known, raise my hand or simply mutter a 'here'. Somehow, though, I could not. My lips did not want to move, and the person beside me gave me a concerned glance.
She poked my arm with her finger, prodding me to come out of my deep thought. "Sadie?" This time it was her, not the lady on stage, who was getting madder by the second. I winced as she screamed a "I know you're here!" And gave the girl a apologetic look. Finally finding my voice, I informed her that everything was okay. I would announce myself soon. But I did not, and so she raised her hand and jumped, catching the attention of everyone.
"Mrs. Zola! The one you want is right here." She made a big show of gesturing to me, and the woman practically sprinted over and gave her a pat on the head. "Swell Job, Kayla." However, before I could make a excuse for my behavior, I was being dragged out of the auditorium, in front of everyone, her nails now slicing into my skin instead of wooden splinters. As we moved, eroding flakes of iron danced down from the ceiling, coating the floor and making it hard for me not to cough or slip.
"Do you think we could slow down?" I asked, "Wherever we're going can wait, can it not?" Instead of a comforting, 'yes, you're right' or 'Of course, child' I got her hand-print on my cheek and a stern scolding. I couldn't say I was surprised, abuse here was common, but it didn't stop a tear from dripping down my face. I just wanted to be home. Home with my brother and father. But I had reached the age of eleven, and that meant suffering from here on out. My life was officially beginning to end.
Where could I add in detail so you could better visualize? Any place confusing and hard to comprehend? Suggestions? Thanks!