Pound of Hope [Closed; mods please lock]

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Friday evening
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Total votes : 169

Re: Pound of Hope [Open!]

Postby BPeppers » Fri Nov 12, 2010 12:19 pm

Kennel: F16
Section: Freaks of Nature
Name: The Deal Maker, AKA, Usoki or Usi Umoku
Breed: Iscurbras/Outcast God
Age: Eternal

Why do you want this animal?&What will you do for this animal?: He was beautiful and caught my eye since the second I saw him. I really wanted him badly, but I'd had no idea what history to give him before! Then, I found the perfect spot for him in this soon-to-be, like, 30 page story. ^^ It's on Microsoft Word right now at 10 pages! ^^ I would be honored for him to have a place in my story. He would love it. ^^

Personality: The Deal Maker is a very mysterious boy. He's not rude at all, he's really quite polite. But he hates to say his actual name. Before he was outcast, everyone called him 'The guy.' He then took on a new name for himself: The Deal Maker. Though not the brightest Outcast in the book (my own phrase), he is quite devious-or at least he could be. He'll always be an outcast, and he hates it, but that's what he'll be for the rest of his life.


Other: There will be six, like in the history, not all neccassarily adopted from here, it depends. ;) Queen Tsi Qsui, Amala, Demi, Koto, Dumoku, and The Deal Maker. ^^

HISTORY:

~The Deal Maker~

“What could possibly go wrong?”
I was muttering the false, sarcastic words to myself, pacing my den in the limbo realm. It had not been her who had cast me out, so why was this happening to her? It was the gods all in a group that had sent me to limbo, she’d only been a pup at the time! So again, I asked myself, why was she the one getting devoured? By a truck?!
I sighed, and started to pace faster. I was worried about her. I wasn’t allowed to be worried about her. I was in limbo.
I’d been cast out before because… Well, I’d been here so long I barely remembered. I remembered the day I’d got cast down, though. And that the reason I was cast down was a lie. I thought I remembered Dsu Lottie (was he Dumoku now?) telling them the horrible lie, but that was unlikely… Or maybe it wasn’t, it was just crazy.
I remembered at that moment. I remembered.

I was padding quietly around my den, thinking about how Earth used to be. I used to live there, but I’d died and somehow managed to be made a god. The gods all agreed on me staying there, so I had been extremely lucky. But not lucky enough. It was then that she padded up to me, her tail flowing and bushy behind her.
“Hello,” I said warmly, smiling at her. She was the most beautiful pup I’d ever seen. Not that it mattered. “What do you want from me?” I asked happily, as she was there.
She cocked her pretty little head. “What do I want from you?” she shot at me. “What kind of question is that? Can’t I just be here for fun?”
I chuckled. “Of course you can, darling, you just ran over here so fast that I suspected you wanted something from me.”
Her eyes widened. “Did I really run that fast?” Then, she shook her head quickly, as if to shake the thought out of her mind. “No, no, no, that’s not why I came over here.”
“What is it, Tsi Qsui?” I loved that name. I loved saying that name. It was like hot caramel slipping from my lips. She sighed sadly, and glanced down. I stared at her. “Don’t be upset,” I murmured helpfully, putting my paw on her shoulder.
She looked at me, and my paw fell from its place. “I’m your friend, right?”
I laughed, and she stared at me, wide eyed, as if I were killing a puppy and was enjoying it. I shook my head. “Of course I’m your friend,” I said, trying to control my chuckling the dumbness of her question.
Her eyes relaxed, and she smiled. “Good.” I smiled along with her, but I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. I glanced over to where I’d seen it. There was Dsu Lottie, or Dumoku, glaring hatefully at me.
“Dumoku?” I called, curious as to what that was about. Tsi Qsui turned also, but he was gone. I sighed. “Why does he hate me?”
Tsi Qsui swung her head and sighed. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I don’t hate you.”
I grinned and plopped down. “Yes, I know you don’t.”
She plopped down and nuzzled up beside me. My heart pounded like crazy, but in a good way. “You’re awesome,” she said happily.
“You’re c-cool too,” I said, trying to keep my voice under control.
“I don’t care what Dumoku thinks about you.” She looked up at me then, her muzzle only an inch from mine. I thought I was going to die. “Why won’t you ever let anyone say your name?”
Well that question caught me off guard. “What?”
“Why won’t you let anyone say your name? Your true name? Can I say it?” Her eyes were pleading. So I gave in… as usual.
“Fine.” I sighed unhappily, because I was actually quite annoyed.
“Yay!” She looked up to the sky. Usi Umoku! Usoki!” She giggled. “There. I’m done.”
“Why do you like to randomly shout out names?” I muttered. “It’s completely childish.”
“That’s because I am a child.” I sat there, shocked at the innocence of her question. She was right. She was a child. And I had no business with her, except as a friend and guardian.
“Right,” I whispered, staring into space. I was completely droned. Until I heard my name, that is.
“Usi Umoku! Come here!” There were many gods and goddesses screaming for me, screaming helplessly. I’d had no idea why.
Tsi Qsui bolted up at the sound. “Why are they screaming at you?”
“I don’t know,” I said, sitting up and forgetting about my last ‘episode.’ “Yes?” I asked carefully, standing up on all fours. I started to pad casually over to them. “What is it?”
I’d made it into the crowd of them all, and they were whispering mean names at me. I wondered why. “Well,” one snotty goddess spoke up. “One of us had better confront him.”
Suddenly, one large god, Rsui Malu (or Rialu) padded up in front of me. I stared up at him. He was so large. I turned my head at a small movement in the corner of my eye, and Dumoku was beside me, as his small pup self.
“How could you betray us, Usoki?” Rialu asked quietly, sounding defeated. I’d had no idea what he’d been talking about.
“What do you mean?” I asked curiously.
He shook his head. “You cannot lie to us any longer. We know the truth, you demon.”
Demon? “I am no demon!” I clearly stated. “I’m a god, just like all of you!”
“That’s a lie!” Dumoku said, raising his head high. “I heard him contacting demons, and he has demon blood.”
“We’ve heard your part of the story, Dumoku,” another god, Qsi Kislu hushed him. “Now let Usoki state his.”
I cleared my throat uncomfortably. “I can only state that this is a lie,” I said calmly. “Now you can choose to believe him, or me.”
It went quiet for a moment, and they all exchanged looks. Finally, Wsi Simiu, a silver god, spoke up. “Well… I say he should look like a demon, just like he is!”
“Yeah!” everyone cheered. I was devastated. They zapped me, into a horrible being with wings and an orbed tail. My tounge slithered out of my mouth like a bloody snake, and suddenly I was cast out of that beautiful kingdom, into darkness, for a lie.

I sighed, knowing nothing had happed since the years passed the story’s end. I’d been watching Tsi Qsui and Amala through the twin orb; the one that’d been placed upon my tail. They didn’t know, I’d kept it a secret. But the orb on my tail was the only one that could get them back… I’d have to go save them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is only part of the story. This is only his part, there'll be more of him, don't you worry. ^^
Last edited by BPeppers on Sun Nov 21, 2010 3:02 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: Pound of Hope [Open!]

Postby iPawki » Fri Nov 12, 2010 12:25 pm

I'd like some critique!
Username:
~ Daydreamer ~
Number of character you're applying for:
#23
Link to form:
viewtopic.php?f=58&t=214724&start=1060#p7740189
Would you like critique through PM, or another way?:
PM please. :3
critmehplz
Big WIP, but I'd like some critique anyway.
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Re: Pound of Hope [Open!]

Postby sad magic » Fri Nov 12, 2010 12:29 pm

I'd like some critique!
Username: Rain of Terror
Number of character you're applying for: 47
Link to form: viewtopic.php?f=58&t=214724&p=7739221#p7739221
Would you like critique through PM, or another way?: Either ^^
critmehplz

Also a WIP. ^^;;
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. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .

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they/them/she/her.
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Re: Pound of Hope [Open!]

Postby Miakemi » Fri Nov 12, 2010 2:44 pm

I revamped...
Kennel Number: F12
Old Image: Image
New Image: Image
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Re: Pound of Hope [Open!]

Postby Martha » Fri Nov 12, 2010 2:48 pm

Bah.
e-o
im confused, whats this 'I'd like some critique!' thing aobut?...
sorry... i just don't know. >_<
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ImageImage~~SIG UNDER CONSTRUCTION~~ImageImage
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Re: Pound of Hope [Open!]

Postby Desmond » Fri Nov 12, 2010 2:49 pm

There's a form to request help from our crit staff. Please recheck the entire front page.
Image
Characters /2/ PikakeClan /4/ F3 Pod
Part of the journey is the end.

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Good luck.
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Re: Pound of Hope [Open!]

Postby BPeppers » Fri Nov 12, 2010 2:56 pm

Mia! The revamp is totally cute!

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Re: Pound of Hope [Open!]

Postby nowi » Fri Nov 12, 2010 3:12 pm

I revamped...
Kennel Number: F15
Old Image: Image
New Image: Image

It's not the best, but..

    i am no longer that active on cs.
    i am looking to trade all of my pets for art or fr!
    if interested you can pm me or send a trade c:

    i am still using all my ocs!

    if you would like to reach me you can contact me on flightrising!
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Re: Pound of Hope [Open!]

Postby keydemon » Fri Nov 12, 2010 4:17 pm

I revamped...
Kennel Number: P6.
Old Image:
Image
New Image:
Image
Code: Select all
[IMG]http://i978.photobucket.com/albums/ae262/FindThatKey/poundofhoperevampkyuubi.png[/IMG]


Hope it's okay. D: I might've messed up the design a bit...
Lineart ---> http://itachi-lover1221.deviantart.com/art/kyuubi-lineart-pixeled-105897802
Image
hiii, you can call me key or ashe!!
she/they | software developer | game designer | ArtRPG creator
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returning after a long long time...🗝
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Re: Pound of Hope [Open!]

Postby Coali » Fri Nov 12, 2010 5:30 pm


Image
Kennel:
F20
Section:
Freaks Of Nature
Name:
Pinyin,Chinese for 'serenity' or 'prosperity'
Breed:
Kirin x Cat
Age:
Immortal
Why do you want this animal?&What will you do for this animal?:
I'm going to be honest,I am in love with everything about him. The colors,the species,the markings,the design,everything. There is nothing that I dislike. I must say that,out of all my characters,I would trade them all for him. I would give him a home(spot in my 'Favorite Characters' thread),art,love,and maybe,once I am comfortable with it,a mate.
Personality:
I am the keeper of past,present,and future,but this my dear child,is a burden,not a gift,why? That is for me to know,and you to not know,child.
Pinyin is the keeper of the past,present,and future. But he sees himself as a mere creature with a purpose. This purpose was told to him by his creator,to ensure the safety of the world. His master knew this creature would live far after all other creatures were gone. So his social skills aren't the best,because he has lived most of his life without company. He sort of stands out in a group because he will rarely talk to anybody else,and has a habit of 'disappearing' in uncomfortable situations.
Pinyin will often dash to random times in the past/present/future. He likes to do 'research' on things that happened,and he doesn't care if he interferes,which,as his creator says is one of his three 'flaws'.
The first flaw is the fact he doesn't care if he affects the future,even if he was to end the world,because he could always go back in time and still be there,or change the mistake.
The second flaw is that he will say things like 'dammit' and 'crap' and doesn't care who hears it.
The third flaw is his fighting skills,they are to perfection,he has nearly the skill of a ninja,and he isn't afraid to show off.
Despite his quiet nature,his physical actions completely contradict his initial 'judging'.
Dislikes&Likes:
Likes:
Speed- He loves fast things,anything that moves fast is good for him,because when he travels in time,he starts by running as fast as he cat,which is at the 'speed of light'
Poison- He likes poison and toxic things,they make him feel daring and dangerous
Fighting- He likes to show of his fighting skills
Honesty- He enjoys to be around honest people,even though he isn't always honest himself
Weather- He has an odd fascination for weather,and often runs into times of extreme weather
Dislikes-
Dishonesty- He cannot stand to be with dishonest people
Losing- He isn't obsessed with winning,but he is a sore loser,and is really brought down by it.
Silence- In complete silence,Pinyin tends to freak out for no apparent reason.

History/Backround:
Below are some of the journal entries found inside his master's journal.
January 6,1924 wrote:Today the creature hatched from it's egg.
It was wet,and soppy,but I looked it's body over anyways,on it's forehead I discovered a small lump,hopefully that is where it's horn will come out.
Why an it? I can't tell if it is male or female yet.
But it has nice,white fur and camouflage on it's legs. Once it gets older I will tattoo it with my label.

January 13,1924 wrote:Today the creature is a week old!
Already,it can walk and it's eyes are open.
I am watching it right now.
It's tail,the backs of its arms,chest,and belly all have a red feathering of some sort.
The lump on it's forehead is a horn. EUREKA!
Once it is a month or so old,I will begin to train it,and mark it.

Febuary 6,1924 wrote:The creature has become quite rambunctious now.
Today I marked him with the delicate orange paint.
His back clearly reads 'harmony','longevity',and 'enlightenment'.
He will now forever remember his purpose.

March 1,1924 wrote:Today,Pinyin,as he is know known,learned

The rest of the journal recovered from master Hataschi was burned in a fire. Not enough of it was left to continue your viewing of it. The word 'fire' was found deeper in the journal,on one of the other untouched pages,yet only the word fire was on it.

Pinyins paws glided silently over the soft,springy pine needles that littered the floor.
A small grin spread across his face as he rubbed against the non-burned trees. This was a time far before Master Hataschi was born,before his parents were born. At this time,the dinosaurs still roamed the Earth. "Whatever caused them to die out,I'm not sticking around for." He murmured.
Pinyin quickly built up speed as he ran. There was a streak of blue as he traveled forward in time. To a time slightly after the fire. He stepped onto the remains of the house his master was born in,and lived in when he died. "I tried to save you,master,and your book." He said. The leather book was laying on top of a mound of dirt and gravel. A grave.



Art:
Image
Other:
I had to re-do this several times due to my computer crashing.
WIP
Last edited by Coali on Fri Nov 19, 2010 5:24 pm, edited 6 times in total.
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