by ~Gem~ » Tue Jan 28, 2014 2:18 pm
Hello! My name is Gem. I am both a writer and a critic. I really enjoyed your piece. It flowed very well and had deep description. My only suggestion to you would be to use more sensory language. Try to make the reader make a visual in their heads of all the action. I enjoyed it very much, I have no complaints! Keep on writing and make sure to check in on me sometime! I will be posting soon, I just have to keep up with people asking me to critique their work and focus on writing my story at the same time! Thank you for your time and writings!