In this form; Ali, Cycle, and Shadow are mentioned. The first two are Goennecs, and the third is my dear little demon fox. They are reffered to only in past tense; as this form takes place in the future. So do not fear, I have not killed off my precious characters. <3
Oh; just a quick fun fact before we start. Clairvoyance's "other" name, Filia of Lux lucis; means Daughter of Light in Latin.
Can one truly be found without being lost?Goennec Pen #:Affected Pen One
Name:Clairvoyance
How would you use him/her:Earlier this summer; I wrote a short story. Titled
"Fool's Lament", it is the story of a man involved in a Russian crime circle contemplating suicide; essentially revolving around the idea of the lost sheep being found by the sheperd. While writing it; I began to ask myself; what if it was not the sheep finding its way back to the shepard; but the lost shepard being found by his sheep? And thus; Clairvoyance's story was born. Not only did she seem to immeadiately "click" with it; but physically she represents her past. The light emerging from the dark; the blurred split of her golden half from her dark half.
When she was first put up I felt a connection to her; but I had no idea as to what her past would hold. I chose Cycle because his idea had been much more clear to me at the time; and now, I have the chance to call both of the Affected mythicals my own. I am certain that by now my love for the Affected is quite obvious. My sister's comment was;
"They're like Pokemon to you! Gotta catch them all; right?!" She was, of course, joking; but I still feel the need to address this. I'm not trying to adopt every single one of the Affecteds. That is not my "grand scheme." I simply connect with them very well; and therefore choose to try for them.
I've been "best friends" with the same girl now for three years. We have sleepovers, go swimming, taunt her younger brothers, watch TV shows that we probably shouldn't, do homework together, talk on the phone for hours at a time about completely incoherent things, frustrate our teachers with our witty remarks, and much more.
And she's blind.
Mabey it's this that makes me feel such a deep bond with Tiger Eye, Cycle, and now Clairvoyance. The fact that one of the two people closest to me outside my family is different from others; as are these creatures. Intelligence taken for granted by others, "accidently" tripping them, and nasty comments behind their backs. I've seen it, and I've heard it. And I also know just how much damage a cane can do, as can a best friend who understands and doesn't mind causing a little damage to a loser.
In a way; I think that it's my need to prove to others just how amazing she is and stand up for her refected here. Here, it's a need to show through my writing how an Affected creature really thinks and feels; and how they can stand up for themselves; even if it is in the tiniest way.
When I look at Clairvoyance now; I can't help but feel that there's a chance that this was meant to be. Not many people get another shot at a character that they passed up for another. And no, I've never regretted chosing Cycle. I'm simply overjoyed that I might just end up having both. The first time around things might not have worked out for this character; but this time I want to guarantee that they do.
If I win her; Clairvoyance will be treasured; as a character, a headmate, and a friend. For yes, I see my characters as my friends. It is they that I mentally converse with while I walk school hallways alone. Anthem, Ali, Shadow, Kachina, Sandra, East, Polly, Kingfisher, Gwen, Cycle, Chaos, Nocturne, and all the rest; they've been constantly with me lately as I work through the start of high school and the chance of my having a very dangerous illness. I wish to add Clairvoyance to their ranks; to have her as a sounding board, a companion, and a supporter. Characters are truly lovely things.
My network of character websites is eighty one percent done; and I hope to publish it within the next month or so. Clairvoyance would have her own website added to this where her art, short stories, and full story would be displayed. I have started to overcome my dislike for ordering art; I just ordered two pieces of Ali in the same day; which is quite a feat for me. I enjoy writing about Clairvoyance very much; and I hope that I will be able to continue and expand her story.
I'm absolutely in love with this character; and through this form I hope to prove to you exactly how I feel.
Define your Goennec:I was many things.
I was Filia of Lux lucis. I was the daughter of a goddess. I was royal. I was immortal. I was worshipped. I was praised. I was a young lioness. I was beautiful.
But I was selfish. I was rude. I was self-righteous. I was inconsiderate. I was uncaring. I was haughty.
I saw many things.
I saw the rising of the Earth's sun. I saw the setting of said sun. I saw the crystal halls of the place I lived. I saw my gorgeous reflection when I gazed into pools of water. I saw the smile on my mother's face when I made her proud. I saw the mortal creatures who wandered, lost and in pain.
I saw the creatures of Earth going about their lives.
I saw the tempestuous female Goennec, Ali, fight off predators that wished to prey on her companion. I saw her be injured and emotionally distraught; dealing with her torturous memories. I did not help her, I did not go to her.
I saw the Gifted creature, Cycle, who was granted with the power of Sight. I saw him deal with the knowledge of exactly how each creature around him would meet its death. I did not appear when he stayed awake at night staring at his friend and praying that the gods would change her fate. We didn't. I didn't.
I saw Shadow, the demon fox, forging his way through rebellions and giving up his cherished love for the sake of dozens. When he died alone, I did not greet him and provide him with comforting words.
I was self absorbed and cruel. I laughed at these creatures then; but I do not laugh now. Now I cry out my own lament of pain along with them. I have learned much, and changed even more so.
Now; I am few things.
I am Clairvoyance. I am an Affected Goennec. I am forgotten by the gods. I am lost. I am alone.
But I am kind. I am humble. I am understanding. I am thoughtful. I am compassionate.
Now, I physically see nothing. Now, I hear nothing.
I am not beautiful. I am not holy. I am not worshiped.
But by losing my sight; I gained true sight.
Sight of the world. Sight of myself.
I am not Filia of Lux Lucis, I am Clairvoyance.
And because of that, I am at peace with myself.Clairvoyance is a bright young creature. She strives to see the good in her dire situation; and tries to be opptimistic about it and her future. Though changed; her old feelings and emotions can rise when she becomes agitated or upset; and therfore must struggle with her own self to stay in control. Clairvoance has no wish to be Filia of Lux lucis again; yet she dreams of being remembers by the gods and therefore being returned to her rightful place. She knows, though, that the chance of it happening is tiny. Kind and gentle; Clairvoyance loves spending time with the herd's kids. One of the things from her past life that she hasn't let go of is her strong dislike for Silus; the snake that to others is simply a long, dark tail. Only Clairvoyance knows the truth about him. When she needs him the most he mentally deserts her; leaving her in a world of silence and darkness. She knows, though, that by angering him she would be bringing the loneliness down upon herself; and therefore attampts to please him as best as she can. Clairvoyance is overall intelligent and content; though deep inside she knows that she is not truly happy. How could one be; when they have been deserted by the creatures that once cared about them the most?
- - -
A tear in the temporal fabric had been what shattered Filia of Lux lucis' life. She had been meant to make an appearance to a pride of lions in Africa with Silus, the servant serpent, as her protector. The gods had hoped that through seeing mortals in person; Filia would better understand them. Little did they know that she would become a mortal herself, and would land very far off course.
It had been a cold night when a small, golden Goennec stumled upon her saviors. The river that ran through the mountain valley carried only frigid water; and the birds sang songs of only harsh times. The Goennec could not hear their songs. She could not hear the water. But she could hear a voice in her mind, filled with contempt and anger, directing her over the slippery river banks. Silus' voice; her protector who had met a similarly nasty fate. A messenger of the gods was certaintly not meant to be a tail. He had been a dragon like serpent; but now, he was but a lowly snake. A breathing, wing-less, leg-less snake. Fate was indeed cruel. It was because of his anger that after guiding the once-goddess away from the river; he fell silent.
Alone in a world of darkness and eerie quiet; the Goennec tentativly continued forward, one step after the other. It had been at least three more hours before she ran into the herd; exhausted and confused; jumbled memories surging through her mind. The herd, of course, took pity on the little Affected creature. They saw her tail as a normal dark one; and took her for nothing more than a lost female. Silus was invisible to them. Filia of Lux lucis was no more. Gone, forgotten, lost.
It was then that Clairvoyance came to be. She would often turn her head around; her sightless eyes glimmering with confusion when she looked at her tail; or she would cock her head as if listening to a nonexistant voice. The elders would laugh at this; calling her a "clairvoyant little creature" as they gently stroked her with their tails. When Silus murmured the name to her; the female instantly knew that it fit. She was not that strange name that appeared in her muddled memories. She was Clairvoyance. And because she had a name; she could have a new idenitity.
With time came clearer memories. Within a week; Clairvoyance knew exactly who Filia of Lux lucis had been; and who she was now. She also knew that within time; the gods would find her. They would find her and take her back to the heavens. She could be Filia of Lux lucis again. There were, however, two problems with this idea. The first being that gods did not have a very good sense of passing time. It could be many years before they even bothered to look; and if she died? The odds were not in her favor. She knew how the gods opperated. The second problem was that she did not want to be Filia of Lux lucis; Daughter of Light. Clairvoyance was, for the first time, at peace with herself. The warmth of the rising sun was enough to make her smile; and the gentle touches of the elders could made her feel safe. She did not bother with being defiant. She needed these creatures,
Goennecs, Silus had called them. Yes, they were strange; but they were much kinder than the gods had been. The cared, and they loved. She learned each of their scents; and soon could recognize each of them.
Food was brought to her and the elders each morning; and she became used to the peaceful routine. One of them, still on the younger side, would often lead her on walks. They assumed that she was mute, too, for she never once spoke. Clairvoyance could, of course, if she wanted to. But what would she say? There was nothing to be said. They would think that she was insane if she spoke of once being a god; and besides, how would a deaf creature know their language? Staying quiet was much better. Unfortunately, Silus agreed. He almost never spoke up; only saying enough to reassure Clairvoyance that he had not somehow died. Even then; he only conversed with her in order to keep her happy so that once she was a goddess again; she could vouch for him to rise in rank from a messenger. Silus was not an honest, or caring creature. BUt then again; were
any of the gods?
With Spring came kids; and Clairvoyance found her love for not only the little energetic creatures; but for the scents of flowers and grass and trees. The kids were introduced to Clairvoyance almost as soon as they were born; for the herd wanted to make sure that she knew each and every one of them. Clairvoyance was, to say the least, extremely popular among the herd. She would play with the kids, go for walks with the adults; and simply sit be their sides' and enjoy the feeling of truly being alive. Her past, of course, could not be forgotten. The feelings of Fialia of Lux lucis constantly boiled deep within her being; threatning to resurface. Clairvoyance certaintly did not enjoy the constant sruggle with herself; yet knew that it was neccesary to repress the emotions. She had been taught to love through her ordeal; and certaintly did not want to let go of the precious feeling. Wouldn't she have to let go in the end, though? Surely the gods were coming at that exact moment. Just as they had been coming during the last night, and the day before, and then the morning before that day. Clairvoyance would not give up on them, not yet. But deep inside; she knew that she was on her own. Permanently. Left to struggle through life. Left to eventually die. But why think that? Because they were coming. They would come that night, or the next, or the day after that. They were not coming. But they would come! Surely they would not come if they could. She was a goddess. Well,
had been a goddess. and it was those two words, "had been," that told her the truth about her fate.
The fate that she would struggle through; for one can not turn back on the path to light; this Clairvoyance knew. They could only forge their way forward; to salvation, and to peace.
- - -
When I was Filia of Lux lucis; the idea of being mortal seemed replent. Yet now, laying here beside my herdmates, I can't help but feel that I belong. Sure, getting flicked by the elders' tails all night is extremely annoying; but who am I to bleat about it? They've given me a home. A home with companions and friends and love. And lots of kids. I love to play with them; whether we stand together in the shallow part of the river, trying to outlast each other against it's cold waters; or pull wildflowers out of the ground with out teeth and then fling them at each other. I've never been very good at the latter; but it is, indeed, fun. Silus has quieted for the most part; which is a curse and a blessing. Though he is annoying; he is my last anchor to the gods. I know that they will probably never come; but is it wrong to hope? In a way, I suppose it is. Why hold on to their memory? They have let go of mine. The problem is; I'm not the kind of creature to let go. So I think that I shall continue down the bright path of the living; but will still not let the domain of the gods leave my "sight." They were the family of Filia of Lux lucis, though. Would they even recognize me? I doubt it. Surely there is already a new Daughter of Light...
On this path that I walk; the fact of who I was means nothing. Who I am means everything.
And I shall not allow that fact to leave me.
I am Clairvoyance; and with these creatures; I belong. - - -
FIN
- - -
Thank you for reading and considering my form. It is my hope, my wish, and my prayer that I will be able to write this creature's story; and tell of her stuggles, her pain, and her joy that come with being who she is. Seeing that this is Clairvoyance's second time being up for adoption; I hope that whoever wins her; whether it be me or not; takes care of her. This charming doe certaintly deserves it.