Sмoshy ♥ wrote:Hello lovelies, I've come with a slight problem that I'm needing some advice on. ^^
Alrighty then, well, you see, I've been dating this guy for about seven months now and before that we were the best of friends. I mean the kinda friends that would go anywhere with each other, making up the craziest songs, go on rides that we were absolutely terrifying. We were very close, like cream and tea. Well, I never really realized that he liked me, only that we would follow each other around like lost puppies, but then one day, about a year or so later, I finally confronted him about it and around Valentines Day he called me and asked me out. Now, everyone at our school had tormenting us about "Are you two dating yet?" "You two are perfect for each other!" "When are you two gonna go out?!" so when we got back to school and he was asked "Are you two dating?" he responded with yes, and the entire class, including the teacher went crazy. :l Seems good so far, right?
Now, both of us are kinda on the social awkward side so the first few months of our relationship we didn't do any kissing, hugging, or hand-holding. But a few weeks later I went up to him for a hug and he rejected it, I was a little shocked but pushed it aside, then a few days later I tried again and he responded with "I'm not in a hugging mood." then I was hurt. Now, he has a history of having a lot of girlfriends (I'm # 24 ) but the thing is, he's nothing but sweet, kind, and loving, he's the only REAL gentlemen I've seen. So, I went snooping around to figure out why they dumped him but honestly found nothing, most of his girlfriends said it was because he didn't call enough but in my case, he does, some of the others said it was because he was a jerk--which I find very, very hard to believe due to the fact he's one of the nicest guys' I know. None of them said it was because of 'lack of affection.'
Weeeeeeeeeellll, it seems like every time I try to hug, kiss, or hold his hand he has to come up with an excuse to why he can't or why not. Now, this doesn't happen all the time, but in total we've only hugged about ten times, most of them I had to ask for, I've only kissed him about four times on the cheek and every time he kinda shy-ed away from me, holding hands is okay now I guess, but I still kinda have to ask. He's never really tried to make a move over on me and if he has I haven't noticed. He's perfect with just about everything else though, he's always getting me gifts without me asking, he even bought me a 130 dollar sterling silver bracelet for my birthday with three cute little charms on it. He pulls out chairs, opens doors, pays for my meals even when I try to pay for them myself. He's never let me pay for my own meal. Never. NEVER. o-o He's smart and funny, cute and silly. I love him to pieces but sometimes it's just really hard to tell if he loves me too. And yes, I have told him that I feel this way, and I guess he's tried to step it up a bit, but it still kinda bothers me when we walk around and I see other couples that have been going out for only a month or so and their sitting there kissing each other.
I don't want it to seem like I'm forcing him to show his love to me, but it's like I have a boyfriend but can't show any "physical affection" to him.Sorry if this is too long. xD I just thought ya'll needed to know. Also, if it helps any, he says I'm the only one he's ever really had trouble showing affection to cause he get scared.
Initially, I do feel that it is very strange for him to shy away from all of your attempts. I'm trying to imagine having to ASK my boyfriend to hold his hand and I just.. can't. I also find is even stranger that someone is keeping count of his girlfriends. Lastly, I'm downright shocked at the high number. Does he date girls for only two days or what? That's ridiculously high and also odd to KNOW the number. If it were 7, sure, but over 20 and I'd start to lose count, even if I didn't necessarily forget names.
Now, as I let your story marinate in my brain juices, I do have to point out that some people are more okay with affection than others. Assuming you guys are still pretty young, 7 months may seem like a long time. All of his previous girlfriends were MORE than 7 months ago - and maybe he wasn't ready for affection then and the girls were young enough that this didn't bother them. Maybe he didn't date them long enough for much to happen. And, as I stated first, not everyone likes physical touching. It DOES sound like he cares about you (that bracelet sounds over the top in price, but still very nice) so I would guess he either feels awkward/unready or just isn't into physical touching much.