Drake and Josh quotes. :'D
Craig: Can I please take a break?
Steve: YOU WILL TAKE A BREAK WHEN DORA FINDS HER WAY TO THAT BANANA TREE! COME ON, DORA, IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE! ABRE LOS OJOS! COME ON!!
Steve: COME ON, DORA! ANDALE! ANDALE! MAS RAPIDO! YOU CALL YOURSELF AN EXPLORER?!!
Steve: COME ON, DORA! YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE MAP! DON'T ASK ME!!
Steve: COME ON, DORA! IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!
Craig: [Breaks the crank] It broke! The crank broke!
Audrey: [on why she won't go on a cruise] Boats sink.
Walter: It's not a boat, it's a ship. And ships don't sink.
Audrey: Tiiiiiiiiiiitanic.
Walter: That was just a movie.
Audrey: Based on a true story!
Walter: ...For real?
Walter: [needing a last minute anniversary gift for his wife] Uh, go get her some toothpaste. She's always using toothpaste.
Josh: Dad, there's $200 here.
Walter: Well get her some mouthwash too! ...I'm just a man! [runs away]
Josh: Drake! This isn't what it looks like- wait. [turns around and gets on his knees] Dear Lord, thank you for my first kiss! Amen!
Josh: [dangling from the roof] I deserve this. This is all because I forgot to feed my turtle Sheldon in kindergarten! He went to Heaven, and now my life is bad! [looks up] Ya happy, Sheldon?! We're even now!
Walter: [offscreen] Josh?
Josh: SHELDON?!
Drake: Why are you going to be on the news? Did you get locked in the monkey cage again?
Josh: Hey, those chimps tricked me! The big one took my corn dog and, I mean, I had to go in there and get it back! And I'd do it again!
[Craig and Eric are watching Papa Nichols, who is sleeping]
Craig: Drake said he'd be asleep all night.
Papa Nichols: Ohh, where am I? What's happened?
Eric: He's disoriented.
Papa Nichols: What did you call me?
Eric: Oh. Uh, nothing, sir. I was just uhh...
Papa Nichols: What have you done with the rest of my unit?!
Craig: What does he mean "his unit"?
[Papa Nichols picks up his slipper]
Eric: I guess he thinks he's back in World War II.
Papa Nichols: [puts his slipper up to his ear] General Patton, sir. It's Sergeant Nichols. I've just been captured by two German nerds!
Eric: Oh. No, no, sir. We're not Germans.
Papa Nichols: That's just what a German would say!
Eric: No, no, no. You don't understand...
Papa Nichols: No, no. You will not capture me. [bonks Eric in the head] Ever!
Craig: Eric! [Papa Nichols grabs him by the arm and throws him over the couch] Aaahh!
Papa Nichols: U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.-S.-A.! [starts running off] U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
[Craig and Eric are at home, looking for Papa Nichols]
Eric: [looks out the window] Papa Nichols?
Craig: [in the kitchen] Papa Nichols?
Eric: World War II's over.
Craig: And we're not Germans.
Eric: We're honor students.
[Craig comes out of the kitchen]
Craig: Why is he hiding from us?
Eric: Well, I guess he's confused on the count of all that medication they gave him after his surgery.
Craig: Well, where could he be?
[they look up as Papa Nichols screams and falls from the ceiling and lands on top of them]
Papa Nichols: Ahh, ahh. U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!