The Critique Cafe- Need Active Critics!

Are you a writer or a poet? Come and share your creations with us, or discuss writing techniques with others
Forum rules
Please only post your own original work, do not post poetry or stories which were written by someone else.

Re: The Critique Cafe, for all your critiquing needs

Postby Soccerlvr » Sat Mar 27, 2010 3:00 pm

I would like some critique please!
Username: Soccerlvr
Link to your form:http://www.chickensmoothie.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=118117&p=3517325#p3517325
Adoption Agency you are applying for: Goennec
Deadline for your form: The weekend :3
Would you prefer to get feedback here or by PM? Here


My form is hardly close to done, but I want some critique so far. If you wonder why it grew while you read it, it's because I'm still adding more :3
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Re: The Critique Cafe, for all your critiquing needs

Postby .kestral » Sun Mar 28, 2010 1:32 am

I would like some critique please!
Username: *kestral*
Link to your form: viewtopic.php?f=10&t=53904&p=3565585#p3565585
Adoption Agency you are applying for: TaN
Deadline for your form: Um....not sure, I think I got a week
Would you prefer to get feedback here or by PM? Whichever is easiest, I dont mind cause I will check back here anyway so yeah.
Having serious issues viewing dark colours at the moment. May delay replys to pms. Sorry.

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Re: The Critique Cafe, for all your critiquing needs

Postby Yamanaka Shin » Sun Mar 28, 2010 2:34 am

I would like some critique please!
Username: ~MeiTay~
Link to your form: viewtopic.php?f=10&t=53904&start=2840 (this is my form so far. it's on the 3rd post.)
Adoption Agency you are applying for: TaN
Deadline for your form: In a week, I think.
Would you prefer to get feedback here or by PM? Anywhere is ok ^^
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Re: The Critique Cafe, for all your critiquing needs

Postby Atwood » Sun Mar 28, 2010 9:55 am

Remember to help other people out by critiquing their forms as well, everyone - that'll make it go a lot faster and help everyone get the critiques they need in time. :3
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Re: The Critique Cafe, for all your critiquing needs

Postby Yamanaka Shin » Sun Mar 28, 2010 9:58 am

This is a critique for ( copy and paste their username )!
Who the critique is for: Kestral
What you had to say about it: It is very good, but maybe you could try spacing out paragraph boundries and bolding the categories. Name: is easier to see than just Name:.
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Re: The Critique Cafe, for all your critiquing needs

Postby .kestral » Sun Mar 28, 2010 11:29 pm

~MeiTay~ wrote: This is a critique for ( copy and paste their username )!
Who the critique is for: Kestral
What you had to say about it: It is very good, but maybe you could try spacing out paragraph boundries and bolding the categories. Name: is easier to see than just Name:.


Ok, fair enough. I shall do that when I get home.
Having serious issues viewing dark colours at the moment. May delay replys to pms. Sorry.

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The Leopard Pups
Grey, Black and White. The world revolves and we go with it. Twisting in this everlasting monotony, eyes of green and gold, watching and waiting for our chance, our time. Cytor, Liliana, Serenade, Bayonet, the Prankster, the sweet one, the mother and the lost soul. There birth was a lost event, one in a million, two wandering souls met in the shadows, and these four were created. There pups are the stuff of legend, one lost there sight, one lost there path, one lost there love and the other? The other lost his family, everyone they cared about. He lost his family.
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Re: The Critique Cafe, for all your critiquing needs

Postby Lirrie » Mon Mar 29, 2010 7:39 am

I would like some critique please!
Username: Lirrie
Link to your form: viewtopic.php?f=10&t=99202&p=3569220&hilit=luniea#p3569220
Adoption Agency you are applying for: The Agency
Deadline for your form: tonight
Would you prefer to get feedback here or by PM? Both if possible

and

This is a critique for ~MeiTay~ !
Who the critique is for:~MeiTay~
What you had to say about it:
I loved reading her story only thing i really saw you could do was break up the personality paragraph a little. Other then that you form seems ok to me.
Last edited by Lirrie on Tue Mar 30, 2010 10:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Critique Cafe, for all your critiquing needs

Postby Yamanaka Shin » Tue Mar 30, 2010 12:47 am

Thank you Lirrie <333 I will certainly do that ^^
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Re: The Critique Cafe, for all your critiquing needs

Postby Papercutt. » Tue Mar 30, 2010 6:01 am

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Last edited by Papercutt. on Tue Mar 30, 2010 3:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Critique Cafe, for all your critiquing needs

Postby Lirrie » Tue Mar 30, 2010 6:12 am

This is a critique for Xanre !
Who the critique is for:Xanre
What you had to say about it: There is a bunch I would change for instance a personality should be added to give her more depth and possibly a like/dislike should be added. Break up your paragraphs a little as well.
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