Mods Please Delete

Are you a writer or a poet? Come and share your creations with us, or discuss writing techniques with others
Forum rules
Please only post your own original work, do not post poetry or stories which were written by someone else.

Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||

Postby Ourpawprints » Mon Jan 30, 2012 3:24 pm

I'll add more tomorrow cuz I'm tiered
Image
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium

Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
User avatar
Ourpawprints
 
Posts: 5470
Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||

Postby Ourpawprints » Wed Feb 01, 2012 8:28 am

bump
Image
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium

Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
User avatar
Ourpawprints
 
Posts: 5470
Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||

Postby Ourpawprints » Wed Feb 01, 2012 3:49 pm

I don't get why this gets almost no feedback. It has plenty of views but no one will say anything about it. If you don't like it say so. Tell me what I should do better. If you like it say so. Give positive feedback. If you don't care say so. How come so much worst written stories with hardly any plot end up becoming popular and then I spend hours on a story, trying to make it perfect, begging for feedback and no one says anything!
Image
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium

Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
User avatar
Ourpawprints
 
Posts: 5470
Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||

Postby Betta132 » Wed Feb 01, 2012 4:14 pm

You really don't need to improve anything. Just write more please!
User avatar
Betta132
 
Posts: 15713
Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 3:22 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||

Postby Saphira344 » Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:22 pm

Agreed
Check out this awsome streamer
Adorable pokemon gif's, click to go to the makers deviantart profile.
ImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImage
My photo gallery. ||My raindom lines||Asperger Syndrome||Ask me ||Athena||Moon Frost(Frost)||Tilly's story|| Arachnia ||

Image
ImageImageImage
User avatar
Saphira344
 
Posts: 123110
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:41 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||

Postby Ourpawprints » Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:13 am

just noticed I haven't added much in a while. Gonna add some tonight
Image
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium

Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
User avatar
Ourpawprints
 
Posts: 5470
Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||

Postby ~ƆσʋитяʏǤιяℓ~ » Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:15 am

Please reserve me a spot
Image
Don't blink, don't even blink, blink and your dead they are fast,faster than you can believe, don't turn your back,don't look away and don't blink.
-Doctor who 




Please don't take the name ~ƜιитɛяƜσи∂ɛя˩αи∂~, ~ƆσʋитяʏǤιяℓ~, -Ɩиʌα∂ɛяƵιм-, -ωєєριηgαηgєℓ-, -ѕcαяℓєтℓєттєя-, and ~ƳσʋяƜσяƨтИιɢнтмαяɛ~ these are the names I have had since I came on here in 2011 and I would like to be able to use them!
User avatar
~ƆσʋитяʏǤιяℓ~
 
Posts: 6058
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 7:45 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||

Postby Ourpawprints » Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:08 am

what do you mean reserve you a spot? Do you want to be added to the stalker list or did you think this was a different thread?
Image
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium

Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
User avatar
Ourpawprints
 
Posts: 5470
Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||

Postby ~ƆσʋитяʏǤιяℓ~ » Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:20 am

~I want a stalker one please~
Image
Don't blink, don't even blink, blink and your dead they are fast,faster than you can believe, don't turn your back,don't look away and don't blink.
-Doctor who 




Please don't take the name ~ƜιитɛяƜσи∂ɛя˩αи∂~, ~ƆσʋитяʏǤιяℓ~, -Ɩиʌα∂ɛяƵιм-, -ωєєριηgαηgєℓ-, -ѕcαяℓєтℓєттєя-, and ~ƳσʋяƜσяƨтИιɢнтмαяɛ~ these are the names I have had since I came on here in 2011 and I would like to be able to use them!
User avatar
~ƆσʋитяʏǤιяℓ~
 
Posts: 6058
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 7:45 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||

Postby Ourpawprints » Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:23 am

ok :D
Image
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium

Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
User avatar
Ourpawprints
 
Posts: 5470
Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests