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Please only post your own original work, do not post poetry or stories which were written by someone else.
Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Ourpawprints » Mon Jan 30, 2012 3:24 pm
I'll add more tomorrow cuz I'm tiered
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
-
Ourpawprints - Posts: 5470
- Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
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Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Ourpawprints » Wed Feb 01, 2012 8:28 am
bump
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
-
Ourpawprints - Posts: 5470
- Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Ourpawprints » Wed Feb 01, 2012 3:49 pm
I don't get why this gets almost no feedback. It has plenty of views but no one will say anything about it. If you don't like it say so. Tell me what I should do better. If you like it say so. Give positive feedback. If you don't care say so. How come so much worst written stories with hardly any plot end up becoming popular and then I spend hours on a story, trying to make it perfect, begging for feedback and no one says anything!
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
-
Ourpawprints - Posts: 5470
- Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Betta132 » Wed Feb 01, 2012 4:14 pm
You really don't need to improve anything. Just write more please!
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Betta132 - Posts: 15713
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Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Saphira344 » Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:22 pm
Agreed
Check out this awsome streamer
Adorable pokemon gif's, click to go to the makers deviantart profile.
My photo gallery. ||My raindom lines||Asperger Syndrome||Ask me ||Athena||Moon Frost(Frost)||Tilly's story|| Arachnia ||
Adorable pokemon gif's, click to go to the makers deviantart profile.
My photo gallery. ||My raindom lines||Asperger Syndrome||Ask me ||Athena||Moon Frost(Frost)||Tilly's story|| Arachnia ||
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Saphira344 - Posts: 123110
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Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Ourpawprints » Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:13 am
just noticed I haven't added much in a while. Gonna add some tonight
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
-
Ourpawprints - Posts: 5470
- Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by ~ƆσʋитяʏǤιяℓ~ » Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:15 am
Please reserve me a spot
-Doctor who
Please don't take the name ~ƜιитɛяƜσи∂ɛя˩αи∂~, ~ƆσʋитяʏǤιяℓ~, -Ɩиʌα∂ɛяƵιм-, -ωєєριηgαηgєℓ-, -ѕcαяℓєтℓєттєя-, and ~ƳσʋяƜσяƨтИιɢнтмαяɛ~ these are the names I have had since I came on here in 2011 and I would like to be able to use them!
-
~ƆσʋитяʏǤιяℓ~ - Posts: 6058
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Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Ourpawprints » Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:08 am
what do you mean reserve you a spot? Do you want to be added to the stalker list or did you think this was a different thread?
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
-
Ourpawprints - Posts: 5470
- Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by ~ƆσʋитяʏǤιяℓ~ » Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:20 am
~I want a stalker one please~
-Doctor who
Please don't take the name ~ƜιитɛяƜσи∂ɛя˩αи∂~, ~ƆσʋитяʏǤιяℓ~, -Ɩиʌα∂ɛяƵιм-, -ωєєριηgαηgєℓ-, -ѕcαяℓєтℓєттєя-, and ~ƳσʋяƜσяƨтИιɢнтмαяɛ~ these are the names I have had since I came on here in 2011 and I would like to be able to use them!
-
~ƆσʋитяʏǤιяℓ~ - Posts: 6058
- Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 7:45 am
- My pets
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- My dressups
- Trade with me
Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Ourpawprints » Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:23 am
ok 
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
-
Ourpawprints - Posts: 5470
- Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
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