Sometimes he remembers another life—or something. He’s not quite sure what it is. Another era, another time when he rode on updrafts over continents, spread his wings and let the wind catch them, journeyed far and wide surrounded by many loud neighbors whose songs are sweet and sharp.
It’s more than just memories.
Instead, he’s stuck in this smelly herd, with deer that think the same, that sound the same, that even
look the same. No bright plumage, no beautiful voices—only the hollow honking sound of caribou as they meander across the tundra.
He feels like he’s in the wrong body, like he should have sleek brown-and-white feathers, a bill sharp enough to feed with, claws that grasp and hold, rather than stubbly little hooves, a dull fur coat, and a rack of antlers that only impede him and itch in their velvet every spring.
His urge to travel pushes him on, away from the herd. He feels no loneliness, as other deer would separated from their kind; he only feels freedom, and bucks and jumps with joy once there are no fawns around to teasingly copy his motions, no does to eye him oddly and shy away if he approaches.
-
It takes many days of heading south before he reaches the arboreal forests. It’s dangerous navigating them, as his antlers could snag on a branch and keep him there ‘till death if he makes one wrong move. He chooses the widest paths, often the ones that are the most empty for threat of predators. He hears the scratching of animals in the litter nearby, but nothing bigger than that.
He hears the sound of bird above him though, almost muffled by the press of the pine trees. They fly overhead, far above against a rich blue sky, and the deer’s heart yearns to join them. If only.
He meets a wolverine one day, who snarls and snaps as she crawls over a carcass. It’s a fawn, and the deer tries not to look at its face.
“Good eating?” the deer asks morbidly, angrily, and the wolverine nods mournfully.
“I wanted to befriend him,” she says, paws resting on the fawn’s ribcage. “But alas, the need for meat was too great. I wished to become a grass-eater, like him, to be lithe and beautiful and adored by the forest-dwellers, but could not.”
The deer sighs and bids her good day, and sprints away before he can hear the sounds of her tearing into the carcass once more.
-
He meets a meets a fox too, who limps sadly alongside him for several miles.
“I loved a female, a hunting dog,” he says sadly. “We got along well, until her master let her off the chain one night. She could not help herself.”
The deer nods sadly, and points out with his nose the herbs that might heal the fox’s wound.
-
He continues on, on, meeting no one else until one day, a shivering sparrow—a bird not of this climate—alights on a branch near his head.
“What is your business here?” the deer asks, for the bird could freeze without proper shelter each night. “Your land ended days ago.”
The sparrow hops closer on the branch, seeming to smile and puff up its feathers.
“I am heading north,” the sparrow says, eyeing him eagerly. “I wish to be a big deer, like you, to have warm beautiful fur and soft eyes, and silent footsteps in the snow.”
The deer listens, and realizes, finally, that no one gets what they want—and sometimes that there is nothing you can do to change that.
That doesn’t mean he can’t stop trying, though, no matter how great the odds against him.
“Stick with me,” he offers, smiling. “And maybe together we’ll become a bird and a deer.”
FIN
AN: I don't know what the due date was on this one, sorry D: Anyway. My crazy thought process on this deer is that it looked like a Canada goose. And there you have the start of my bizarre story.