The Silver Lining Adoption Place (CLOSED FOR CD)

[kivr & fireflii]

I did judge it, but I don't really have the time to name what could've been improved on. However, overall, the main problems I see when I judge is:

- Incorrect grammar/spelling ::

This could be fixed by using Microsoft Word/OpenOffice/etc.'s spell checker and grammar checker. You should also PM a friend (if they are willing to help you), post on the The Critique Cafe, or even the FanSpam Thread.

- History, personality, or sometimes appearance are cliche (overused, unoriginal, etc.) ::

Avoid: perfect characters (Mary Sue/Gary Stu), love triangles, abuse/neglect/etc. ("sob stories"), etc. Try to think of something original, perhaps make up a whole new world in your head and then place your character in that world. Now, sometimes we do get cliche characters (namely histories) that get accepted. The reason for this is that, although some of the character is unoriginal, the presentation (the way it's written and shown to us) goes beyond the ordinary. If it is written well, then it can still pass, but doesn't have as high as a chance of being original. (Why is this? Originality makes someone closer to their character. If you create a whole world, friends, powers, etc. for your character, then you are more likely to be attatched.)

- Form is too short ::

I think this is self explanatory. If your form doesn't meet the length requirement that is in the first post, it is likely that your character isn't developed enough for our satisfaction. If it's not well developed, we feel that you are more likely to abandon or forget about your character.

- Your form isn't finished ::

The last reason that tends to be a big one. More than likely if your form isn't finished, you won't get the character you want. However, there have been one or two (only one or two) exceptions to this. The reason being is that the WIP form may have mostly been finished already, but had shown a good development in personality and some history. Don't let these few exceptions make you feel like you may get the character if your form is good enough, again, more than likely, it won't.

I do realize this may not be exactly what you're looking for. However, even so, I hope it helps the other people that are wondering what might be wrong with their form. :3 Overall, we're looking for good grammar and spelling along with a unique and developed character. Again, if you do feel you need someone to peer edit and can't find a friend or anyone else, you can post on the FanSpam thread or ask a mini-mod if you can PM them your form.

^ Don't ask me though. I don't mind looking at other things, but I won't critique for SLAP because I would feel like it would be cheating. ^^;

[je ; t a i m e]

╔══════════════╗
ღ ღ ღ F A R R A H ღ ღ ღ
╚══════════════╝
Name:
Farrah
Farrah's name is simple, but tasteful, like her. It is not just a pretty name though- it has meaning! The name Farrah is of Arabic origin, meaning happiness.
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Species:
Equine
Farrah is not certain of her breed. She most certainly has appaloosa in her blood, and possibly some palomino, as for her blonde mane.
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Kennel Number:
#52
Kennel Number Fifty-Two.
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Why would you like this character/What will you do for this character?:
When I see Farrah, I see a princess. Her mane looks like that of Rupunzel's. Her eyes are the color of chocolate that only the wealthiest royalty can afford. And her coat... Oh, her coat! It's gorgeous strawberry coloring, added together with the white here and there, it is simply magnificent. When I first saw Farrah, I practically died. She just took the breath away from me! As I said, her name in Arabic is happiness. That does not describe her as much as it describes me when I get a look at that gorgeous girl. Her design is so simple, yet so unique its own way.
Well, I suppose I should stop gaping at Farrah and tell everyone what I will actually do for her. I'll tell you, then! If I have the huge fortune of winning her, I will, first, hug Farrah until she cannot breath, and then, make her a nice and cozy room at my character thread. Then, I'll work on finding her a mate, or possibly, working on another horse whom has been added to the list of homeless characters as well to be her mate. I, possibly, will breed her as well. I'm sure her foals would be absolutely splendid! But, most of all, I would love Farrah. I would buy and make all of the art I could, I would feature her in my stories, I would role-play her- everything! I would make sure she never gathers dust and had a home forever.
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Personality:
Likes
Farrah likes several things, but there are a select few of which she loves, of which she adores. Some are;
Sunsets- They relax her and lead her to see past life's flaws and gaze upon what is really important.
Constellations- Farrah loves to make stories out if constellations. It is when she can really just let her imagination roam free.
Rain- This weather is very peaceful and beautiful to her. It lets her gather her thoughts and calm her nerves.
Foals- The little bundles of energy make Farrah so happy, just to see how excited they are about life and what lays ahead of them.
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Dislikes
This pretty mare does not dislike much. What she does, though, is reasonable. Something that is rational to dislike or fear. Here are some;
Snakes- A natural enemy of horses, at even the mention of one Farrah will get worked up.
Cars- Farrah dislikes the loud noises of them, and how odd they feel under your hooves when you ride in them. She also hates what they are doing to the Earth.
Small, enclosed spaces- They agitate her and make her feel trapped. Obviously, no animal enjoys being cooped up.
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Gentle & Shy
Farrah is a very kind, soft-spoken mare. She has never once in her life snapped at anyone, nor has she done a thing mean. She is virtually innocent, in almost every way. She is not one to be very out-going, though. If addressed, Farrah will reply politely, though she won't always be the first to say hello. Once you can get past her shyness, Farrah is a very happy horse, though. And getting past her shell is not hard at all, with a bit of patience and love.
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Intelligent
Farrah is very smart and witty. She thinks before she acts, and observes things closely. She is not easily fooled. This mare can usually make up crazy contraptions out of only the materials she has present, which sometimes, can be very little and scarce. Farrah is very inquisitive, which is how she has gathered so much knowledge. Some have called her annoying for all of the questions, but it all pays off in the long-run.
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Sweetie- Pie
This beautiful horse is a magnificent sweetheart. She loves to play around and have fun and bond. Once she loves you, she'll love you forever. You can't help but adore Farrah for her cute little way of nuzzling you, or the kind of whinnie she makes when she's happy. All around, she is an easy-to-like, lovable, playful mare.
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Protective
Lastly, Farrah is very protective. If she feels someone is going to hurt anyone she cares about, she will immediately try to intervene, and stop it at all costs. Despite her very sweet temper, she can be a bit nasty when she gets like this. Like most mares, she was born with the instinct to protect those she loves- especially foals. Farrah will not accept anyone attempting to push around, hurt, bully, or anything of that nature, her friends. And she will stop at nothing to make her friends feel better and avoid having another incident of the sort.
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History:
"Don't waste your money on her, Holly. She's not worth it." 
Two young women, probably eighteen or nineteen, stood in front of the large corral, staring in at the many horses whom looked back at them, silently praying to be taken to a loving home. "Oh, c'mon, Katy. Look at her! She's beautiful." Holly exclaimed as she kneeled down next to the small filly, stroking her strawberry coat. Through the metal bars of the corral.
The filly gave Katy, whom she assumed was Holly's best friend, a smirk. She had understood every word of the girls' conversation. 
So far, many geldings and colts had been sold, along with a few stallions. The female horses were not doing so well. A lot of the horse-owners who had attended the fair already owned mares, which they only use to breed more than ride. But a few lucky fillies had been taken home. And now, maybe, just maybe, it would be this undersized, blonde-maned horse's chance.
Katy also knelt down next to the horse. "She is kinda cute. Are you sure?" Holly replied without hesitation. "I'm absolutely positive." And with that, the brown-haired girl stood up and dragged her blonde-haired friend to the entrance of the corral. She opened the gate and quickly slipped in, closing it tightly behind Katy. Holly slowly approached the filly. The filly bounded up to her, whinnying her excitement and swishing her tail. Holly giggled and gently slipped a rein over the horse's head. She led her new companion and her friend out and looked around.
"Now, wait just a second. Whattya think you're doin' with that horse?" Came a loud voice from behind them. Katy and Holly spun around to face their addresser. It was a short, stocky man wearing jeans and a polo shirt. He was obviously the owner of the ranch and all of the horses, before they were sold.
"I was looking for the person to whom I should pay for this beautiful filly?" Holly called in reply, her voice slightly cracking. The man stroked his chin, nodding, as he sauntered up. "The name's Paul Scottie, owner of this whole setup." He said in that same defeaning voice. Katy trembled slightly. "Holly. Holly O'Conners. And this is my friend, Katy." Paul nodded, observing the girls. "Well, since this is such a beautiful lil' baby, I s'pose I'll put her up for auction. C'mon, girls." The pudgy man took the lead from Holly's grasp and yanked the filly to another corral. This one had buyers swarming around it. 
A beautiful stallion stood inside. His coat was a sleek and shiny copper, and his mane was an amazing jet black. Katy's jaw dropped. "That is what I call a horse!" She exclaimed, tears racing to her eyes. "SIXTY THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED FIFTY DOLLARS!" Someone screamed at the top of their lungs. Katy's gaze fell from the horse. "Their goes my dream horse." She whispered. Holly patted her friend's back and watched as the woman who had screamed the quantity of money quickly scrambled to get her horse.
Paul shoved his way through the crowd, the small horse tripping and struggling to keep up behind him. He let her loose in the pen. She looked at all of the hungry eyes, cowering slightly. The beautiful strawberry filly didn't like this at all.
"Do I hear, two grand? Two grand anyone? Anyone?" Nothing. "One grand! One thousand dollars for this little horse right here!" The silence was broken only by the whinnies of horses a few corrals down. "Nine hundred dollars?" The man's voice faded. "No one wants this horse?" Holly pushed her way through the crowd and climbed up on the metal of the corral, waving the wad of money in her palm like a mad person. "EIGHT HUNDRED NINTEY FIVE DOLLARS!"
Paul sighed, but hesitantly agreed. Holly leapt over the fence and collected her prize, leading the filly back to her horse trailer. One other horse stood in the trailer, a new horse Katy had paid for. 
"What will you name her, Holly?" Was the question that hung in the air as both of the girls took in long swigs of water from their bottles. The fall breeze was very pleasant, but it was still very hot. Holly tilted her head. "My mom... She told be something about an Arabic name. It meant happiness. Um... Farrah! That's it. Whattya think, babydoll? Do you like that name?" The strawberry filly whinnied with pleasure at her new name. "Alright, then." Holly said with a wide grin. "Her name is Farrah."
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Farrah quickly leapt out of the trailer, as soon as the door swung open. The feeling of the moving car and the rumble of the road underneath her hooves made her woozy. 
Holly laughed at her horse's determination to get as far away from her truck as possible. Farrah snorted indignantly and looked around, suddenly  realizing her surroundings had changed. She was no longer at the man's ranch. She was at a new farm, where the pasture was much bigger, as were the stalls. The filly curiously peered into one of the stalls, her chocolate-colored eyes large. An old mare looked back at her, features expressionless.
Holly sighed, letting out a small whimper, when she walked up behind her new horse and looked at the old mare. Love and sadness and anguish showed in her eyes. Katy joined her friend. He knew the whole history between Holly and this old mare, whose name was Matilda. Matilda, or Mattie, had been Holly's very first horse, given to her at age four. Mattie was now very old. It was hard for Holly to even look at the horse without breaking down in tears, recounting all the fond memories she and her originally horse had forged together. 
Holly, unable to stay, rushed out of the barn. Katy followed, leaving Farrah, Matilda, and another horse- a buckskin stallion- alone. The rest of the horses were in the pasture. 
Farrah looked at Matilda, eyes stretched to the equivalence of small dinner plates. She was jolted out of her daze when the sturdy nose of the stallion gently pushed her.
"Uh- what?" She asked.
The stallion laughed quietly. "I'm Blaze." Farrah nodded. "Pleasure to meet you." Blaze looked at the filly, amusement dancing in his eyes. This filly was very polite. She had been raised well. "The pleasure is all mine." There was a moment of silence following his sentence. "Did Holly buy you at the auction and fair? Or are you Katy's?" 
"Holly bought me." The filly answered.
"So you will be living with us?"
"Yes."
"That's wonderful. It will be very different to Have such a young horse again. Most of Holly's horses are teenagers to adults when she buys them." The stallion leaned closer, but did not lower his voice. "Just... Avoid Matilda, over there. She'll bite the hooves off of your legs before you can do anything, if you anger her. A very uneasy, hard-to-get-along-with mare."
Farrah found it rather rude for Blaze to say such a thing- especially when he was only two stalks away from the poor old mare! The undersized filly did not answer, only gazed at him a moment more, thus ending the conversation. 
Blaze sighed and watched as Farrah turned and trotted out of the barn in search of her new owner. Holly stood up from where she sat on the back of her truck. Her eyes still showed depression from seeing the old Matilda, bit she was still happy to see her pet. "Well, let's see what you're made of." The girl said with a smile. She slipped a led onto Farrah and lead her to a corral.
And they walked.
And walked.
And walked.
And walked. 
And walked.
And they trained.
And trained.
And trained.
And trained.
And trained.
And they rode.
And rode.
And rode.
And rode.
And rode.
Over the next year, Farrah had grown in both ways- physically and skill-wise. She was now of average size of a horse her age. She was also a very good jumper. This filly could jump over nearly anything.
Farrah had also mustered up enough courage to say hello to Matilda. As it turned out, the old mare was very sweet. She hated that Holly felt so bad at the sight of her. They still loved each other. Farrah hated how Holly was reluctant to go into the stable when Matilda was present, too. It was just so sad. Though, it did amuse Farrah greatly that Blaze was annoyed day after day by the oldest horse's and the newest horse's growing relationship. 
But one day, right after Farrah and Holly had returned from a walk around the ranch, something odd happened. 
Farrah shook her mane as she stepped out of the tunnel of trees and into the bright sunlight, near the gate that held entrance and exit to the pasture. Holly patted her neck, but looked up suddenly. Farrah noticed him at the same time. Holly smiled faintly. The mare looked at her owner as she slid off of her back and approached the male human. 
Holly brushed a sun-streaked brown strand of hair behind her ears. "Uh- hey, Blake. What's up?" Her voice was slightly nervous. Farrah stepped closer to her, but without moving her eyes from the man, Blake, Holly gently pushed her horse's nose away. 
Farrah looked at Holly, horrified. Blaze trotted up, a smirk on his face, and herded Farrah away from the two humans. The conversation was quiet, and Farrah could see a smile getting wider and wider on Holly's face.
"What do you think you're doing?" Blaze demanded. The strawberry-and-white mare was jerked out of her thoughts by Blaze's rather loud exclamation. "That- that... Boy! He made Holly nervous. What was I supposed to do, sit back and watch my human tremble in a corner?" Blaze laughed. "Tremble in a corner?" He shook his mane. "Farrah, that boy is Blake, Holly's boyfriend. You know, she loves him." Farrah raised an eyebrow. "Loves... Him...? Like she loved me, and you, and Matilda? Blaze, I can't let Blake take Holly away from me." She turned tail and began to gallop back to them. "No, Farrah! She won't forget us!" He called after the pretty mare, but she was already out of hearing range. He sighed and trotted after her. Farrah would have to learn not to be so impulsive.
Meanwhile, Holly smiled and hugged Blake as they said good-bye. The couple had just made reservations for dinner that night. The nineteen-year-old girl looked up as Farrah came flying over the grass towards her, almost running into her. Blaze was not far behind. "Whoah!" She said loudly as she fell against the gate, catching herself. She was glad Blake wasn't present to see such an epic fail of stopping horses from running her over.
Farrah glared after Blake's car, her neck tense and her tail swishing with aggression. Holly looked at her horse and gently stroke her cheek. "Calm down, girl. It's alright." She said quietly.  Farrah untensed only a little bit. She looked up and whinnied with laughter when Blaze did an odd roll down the hill, having tripped. He stood up an whinnied back indignantly, but a small laugh did escape him.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
That night, Holly didn't come home until very late. She stumbled into the barn, obviously tired, and collapsed on a pile of hay. She smiled slightly before closing her eyes and falling asleep. Farrah snorted quietly and stepped out of her stable, having learned how to unlock it from Blaze as a filly. She laid down next to her owner and fell asleep.
The barn door creaked open, about three hours after Farrah had closed her eyes. The horse immediately awoke and pricked her ears; but made no movement and lay with her eyes still shut. Soft footsteps rustled on the floor.
Then, the man who had entered grasped Holly's head in his large hands, pressing a cloth over her mouth. Her eyes snapped open and she tried to scream- nothing came out. Gradually, she lost consciousness. Farrah struggled with all of her might not to stand up. 
The man picked up Holly and dropped her limp body over his shoulder, walking out to his car. He laid her down delicately in the back, on the seats with her head rested on a blanket, and climbed into the front. This kidnapper definitely cared for his victims.
As soon as the barn door shut, Farrah stood. Blaze looked stunned. "What...?" He trailed off, unable to collect his thoughts. 
"I'm going after Holly. I'm going to find her. If I'm not back by sunrise... Get Katy. She'll tell Holly's dad." 
Without waiting for an answer, Farrah burst through the doors and followed the van, desperation fueling her.
After what felt like years, the van stopped in front of a small cottage. The man gently picked up Holly, this time bridal-style, and walked into the house. Farrah skidded to a stop behind the car.
Rage, love, desperation, and hope all surged up in Farrah at once. She tool a head start and knocked the door down, just as Holly unsteadily rose to her feet while the kidnapper was turned. Then, Farrah froze. The man had a gun in his hand. Holly rushed forward and lunged onto Farrah's back.
Farrah turned and ran. The man shot. The bullet hit Holly. It dug clean through her shoulder. Letting out a scream of pain, she clenched tighter onto Farrah's mane. Farrah ran faster. Soon, a car stopped and managed to slow Farrah down. They had noticed Holly, barely conscious and clinging to Farrah's back, arm covered in blood. They called 911. Farrah followed Holly as far as the ambulance, then had to stop. The last things she remembered was Katy gently pulling her into the trailer hooked to a car, cooing, "It'll be alright, honey. Holly will be okay."
And Holly was okay. As it turns out, it had been Holly's ex-boyfriend, Zeke, whom had taken her. He was arrested. Holly was released from the hospital, three weeks after. She was a bit traumatized, but otherwise fine. Farrah was proclaimed a hero. Without her, Holly would most likely still be missing- or worse- dead.
And to this day, almost twenty years later, Farrah is still considered the savior of the Parke family.

Other:
I finally finished! I hope the story is satisfactory. I could add more, if it's not.

DURPIDEE!
(I liked the word too much to have it in small font. xD)

[JerseyDusk]

"Can we pretend that Airplanes in the Night Sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now..."~ B.O.B. feat. Haley Williams - Airplanes
.☄.Kennel Number.☄.
40

.☄.Name.☄.
Sundara Rāta ✧ Sun
(read phonetically from সুন্দর and রাত, meaning Beautiful and Night in Bengali)

.☄.Species.☄.
Wolf Anthro

.☄.Breed.☄.
Ethiopian Wolf

.☄.Age.☄.
16 human years

.☄.Why would you like this character/What will you do for this character?.☄.
When I first saw her Sundara, set off sparks like a firework in my head. Her design amazed me, something I could only have dreamed of making up. The colors of her design blend together like the perfect milkshake, they color choices are perfect for eachother. I fell head over heels for the marking by her eye. To me it looks like a firework, but I can go back and see some stardust. Then if I look again I can see a flare sent in the sky, and then lastly I can see a spark. A spark, a flickering, of hope that life will turn around again; like every other time. And when I look at all of her, I know that the Flicker of Hope best fits my Sun. I hope that Sundara and I will have the time to bond and grow, in art, in stories, and in hope; for when my life hits those hard struggles.

.☄.Personality.☄.
Sundara Rāta isn't your normal type, well the normal type in her small city, Ksamatā. The animals there blend in with their desert surroundings, but Sundara doesn't with her midnight blue coat. She is one to sing with the songs, dance in the rain and watch fireflies. Which all are not normal in her city and country. Yes it's great to be different but not here. Differece is outlawed. No colors, No strange designs, No unearthly things. Every. Thing. Is. Normal. But Sun, isn't normal and you want to know what; she doesn't care. She loves how she is and she uses it to prove that things can change. She sees herself as a flicker of hope, for everyone else. And keeps her chin up, always looking at the glass half-full.Overall Sudara is un-normally elegant, wise beyond her years, one to stop and smell the roses and sees small details others usually miss.

.☄.History.☄.

"If only one could see that there's magic in me,
If only one could see the beauty in me.
This place would be simpler, nicer, better.
If only they could see there's magic in me."

Birds sprang to their wings, as a window from the top floor of her family's mansion clattered open.
"SUNDARA!" Came her eldest sister's voice. "NOBODY CARES! SO BE QUIET FOR ONCE!!"

And with that the window slammed shut, almost shattering. Sighing, Sundara Rāta sat on an elegant stone bench in her family's huge backyard. The cherry blossom tree swayed in the light breeze, mocking her to join its dance. The midnight blue wolf looked away, she couldn't. Her own family hated her for being light and happy, so if one of the new maids or new workers saw her she would be toast.

"Why is it me?" she muttered to the old cherry blossom tree. No one really cared for it's beauty in her family but, she did. It was her favorite spot, and produced excellent shade.
"Whenever I just express myself, everything goes wrong."

As if her words were a cue a drum started to beat through the village, it was repeated by the temple's bell. Until they wove together.
Clang. Tat. Clang. Tat Clang. Tat. Clang. Tat.
Sun perked her midnight ears.

The beat was followed by the loud bell in the village square. It's clanging alerted everyone.
To Get Inside.

~*~*~*~*~

She snuck around pillars in the courtyard. Knowing she had to get a good veiw. Not that she really needed to sneak, no one was looking for her.Now was the time should would finely get to hear something, that wasn't muffled by the door; but it wasn't like she would be sitting in a front row seat. No, No. But it would be close; close enough to hear.

.☄.Other.☄.

Durpidee
ShootingStarAirplanes
WIP WIP WIP WIP WIP WIP

Reposting my form so it's in this round ^^ I will get her this time!!

[Africa.]

Thanks Toki ^^ I believe that will be helpful ^^ Hmm, I may post that on the front page x3

Jersy: Glad to see the determination ^^ Keep up the good work <3

[JerseyDusk]

Thank you Afri! <3 I have been neglecting her form although I still want her very bad. So here I go; I'm just glad she is still here so I can keep going at her!

[je ; t a i m e]

Can you submit more than one form and win both of the character at a code drop?

[Africa.]

Yes ^^ We don't subtract anything from your form even if you have up two forms As long as both forms qualify well enough to be given out, then yes, you very much can win both ^^

[je ; t a i m e]

Okay, thanks. I really love Farrah, but those adorable little foxes also make me swoon. :3 But I will mostly concentrate in Farrah.

[Silent Soul]

am i alowed to try again for the pet i wanted last time?

[Keriae]

am i alowed to try again for the pet i wanted last time?

If the pet hasn't be adopted out, then yes, you can continue to edit your form. ^^