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by Custard Cat » Sun Sep 01, 2024 10:11 pm
I feel like I have been stuck in the same spot for months..years, even. I'm watching my friends and loved ones grow and kick their goals of starting families, getting married, etc. I am watching from the sidelines constantly wishing it were me. It makes me so sad. It's taken me so long to come to terms with what I want, but man I want my own family. I want kids one day and I often fear one day I'll wake up and have missed that opportunity because I can't find a stable partner. I am too scared after my ex to even try seeking one.
I often feel like I wasn't meant to have the life I desire, but I really do hope one day my dreams come true. For the time being I will cheer on everyone else. It just makes me sad deep down, I guess.
The unknown is scary.
adult player || she/her || australian hoping to collect one of every cat on CS
I am a cat mum, dog mum and lover of all animals.
often found in my own world with a book in hand,
playing video games or exploring the outdoors.
°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。
trade me ┊ toyhouse┊♡♡♡
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Custard Cat
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by aveticus » Mon Sep 02, 2024 4:32 am
I got broken up with nearly two months ago now. It's been so weird and sad to deal with. I still really love them but I am scared things between us are messed up forever. They won't talk to me. There is so much I want to tell them and apologize and fix but I can't. I keep hoping they'll come back but yknow, I can't just sit around and hope. It's been so, so weird. I haven't been back to school in two weeks because I keep having to see them and I got extremely stressed out. They don't look happy and I worry. But really, my biggest anxiety is all the change. So much change coming about in my life, and I don't know what the future holds. I'm also worried about skipping school again next week. I want to, but I don't think I should. I think I have a medical exemption for my absences but three weeks feels more extreme. I have a counseling appointment next week though which is cool. Everything has just been really scary. And I feel terrible.
"Your best is enough, trust me."╾━━━━╼╾━━━━╼╾━━━━╼╾━━━━╼╾━━╾I have a large array of interests!Here are some bigger ones:
Music, video games, tech, comics, history, linguistics
I have autism, so I may have troubles with
social communication stuff, but I am very friendly!
Feel free to talk to me ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ
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aveticus
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by vist » Mon Sep 02, 2024 6:25 pm
“ did you hear about the girl
who got frozen ? time went
on for everybody else, …. she’s
still 23 inside her fantasy, how
it was supposed to be”,
i can’t stop myself from getting sucked down into the
feeling that i missed out on a life i wanted and expected,
or the person i wanted to be,. i don’t know how to
shake myself of the expectation and the longing for that
outcome,. i don’t know how to let go and shed my skin
and move on, forward into the person i wanna be, build
the life i want for myself even if the base is wobbly and
unstable,. everyone around me is in full time jobs,
relationships, college, careers , building a family ,.. &
there’s me, chasing a childhood i wanted,. longing for
my first real friendship , im so lonely and i worry im
going to be hollow and alone forever,. no one to share
anything with, a movie, a song, a tiktok, a moment, a
space, an interest, views,.. i want so much , i want to
experience life and feel a belonging,.. i can’t do
anything but wallow within myself, there’s gotta be more
for me, more in me, more than me,..
i’m stuck in time & it doesn’t stop, and that scares me,
because i’m running out of time,.
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vist
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