TheComfortCorner | V.10

[DachasaurusZen]

Who are these people?

My school has the usual friend groups. The tables at lunch, of course, are subconsciously divided by the groups.
I sit at a table with my best friends- which is five people, including me. (Dw I have other friends, they're kind of just my backup friends though.) I recently found out that one of them is going by any pronouns, and is pansexual, (Lets call her L) and another one is lesbian. (And let's call her R)
Over the summer L has gotten super tall, which is making me feel slightly intimidated. She used to be my comfort corner, but now it's just kind of awkward to talk to her.
R one got a new girlfriend, who coincidentally moved to our school and now she sits with us at lunch.
The only two classes I have with any of the four of them is the first two periods, but it's only with R.
And, S (R's girlfriend) is in like five of my classes. She wants to talk to me, but I don't know her. I don't like to meet new people, I barely like to talk to people I do know besides my four best friends. So I don't want to talk to her, I don't want her to be my partner on projects. I would rather have one of the boys that I actually know be my partner, which is saying something considering most of them are pretty annoying, but they only feel safe because I've known them for 7+ years. Unfortunately, R's mental health is not the greatest, and we all try to comfort her.
Now, onto the fourth best friend. Let's call her N. She's my best friend. I have no complains about her, or her associates. Unfortunately, N has classes with none of the four of us. So she will have to make friends. But what if she wants them to sit at our table? The one I sit at? That's supposed to feel safe for me? What do I do then? I'm not going to talk normally with all of these random people at the table!
I only have one problem with the fifth best friend, whom we'll call G. She's soo social. Somebody doesn't have a place to sit at lunch? G will walk over to them and invite them to our table. Granted, they do sit on the other side, but I still don't know these people.

I don't like meeting new people. I dont like talking to people. So why are my friends' friendships with me partly depended on it? I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO THESE PEOPLE. But I can't tell them that, that's rude. I can't tell R that talking to S makes me feel uncomfortable. So I guess I'll just sit here and fake a smile so that they can't tell that I'm feeling down.

Writing this helped, thank you chickensmoothie for being a safe place.

[.destiny]

most days, it feels as though a good handful of people don't care about me as much as they say they do. i feel so disconnected. why do people say things they don’t actually mean. or have i been horribly oblivious to the fact that i'm simply just not valuable enough to be around. is anything even real anymore

[shinx.]

currently properly sobbing for the first time in ages lol
i just feel so so alone, and i wish i had someone to talk to.
i feel embarrassed by my lack of friendships and the fact that i quite literally have no one.

[halo]

me when i tell my mother all she does is get mad at me, and then she gets mad at me for saying that. how to disown parents tutorial

[Ch!cken]

i wonder what my life would be like without my anxiety disorder that haunts my every move and decision, i think i'd be much happier.

[OKULTRA]

i am in so much pain it's bordering needing to go to the ER but i can't afford that. my cat is being really loud and knocking things over but i can't get up to see what he needs because i hurt so much. i'm starving but i can't get up to eat. i'm genuinely afraid something is really wrong but im not sure if it's my fear and stress making the pain worse or not. i have legitimately no one to talk to to take my mind off the pain and i can't sleep through it either. i think im just here until i pass out ...

[Ioannis]

I became the toxic one. All I can do now is do everything in my power to fix it for the people around me.

[heepheep]

poodle

[bubbaberriboo]

i wish the pandemic didn't happen. i was doing such a good job getting my life together, but i had everything taken from me. i wish my dad treated me like an adult. i Know i have a lot of problems and i need help doing a lot of things, but i have finally gotten a chance to get out and DO something for the first time in four years and he basically has a tantrum and holds me hostage in my own home. this wouldn't be a problem if the pandemic didn't happen. i'd probably have a car, maybe my own place. i would have the freedom everyone else my age has. i want to get out of here, i need to. i need to find a new therapist. i need help.

my first chance of non-family human contact in 4 years and my own father has to ruin it. and he wonders why i hate him so much.

[_SmollJellyfish_]

I'm back at work, I have a lot of anxiety that I'm sweating. I feel even more useless here, and I have the feeling that all of them hate me
I would like to run away and hide in my bedroom forever
My depression is getting worse