TheComfortCorner | V.10

[screamingrainfrog]

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[autumnsoundtrack]

I just don't know what to do anymore with my life. I graduated college during the pandemic, in a very bad, co-dependent relationship where I didn't realize I put myself on the backburner to emotionally support him, and ended up continuing to work at a retail store up until I left this past January. Now I'm trying to recover from major burnout while looking for full-time work with benefits. I have no experience in my field, with nothing to show for myself besides my degree. No networks or contacts to pull from because I'm so socially inept that I didn't realize that was a requirement in the job market. In a new state crashing in my partners apartment because I mentally broke myself trying to live with my parents again last year.

I trapped myself here, from being so misguided and unfocused for the past few years, and I can't imagine a way out. I just don't have any more energy or drive, it takes everything for me to exist day to day.

[Soy Sauce]

It makes me upset when I’m not allowed to have feelings. “Anxiety is a sin” “I can’t talk to you when you cry” “stop crying it makes me feel bad”

It’s not my fault, I don’t choose to have anxiety. I don’t choose to cry when you speak to me. I cry about everything, good or bad. It’s not my choice. Stop treating me like I’m less than a person because I cry a lot.

Like when I’m trying to talk to someone or explain my story, my eyes start watering and I can’t get another word out. There’s a huge lump in my throat and when I try and talk it comes out all wobbly and high pitched. I feel like a fool

[stellulite]

going the extra mile for others when they can't even do the bare minimum for me
i didn't want anything special
just a text
it's okay though, i remember who thinks of me and who doesn't (:
happy birthday to me! i appreciate the few who do care but i will always remember those who claim to be closest to me, yet i'm always forgotten
so disappointing every year

[p-dog]

Well that was traumatic ❤️ the kind of shift that has you sitting on the downstairs of the bus near the driver

[Nerve]

i have such a numbing headache. everything was going well but i woke up this morning in pain. i know why it's happening and such, so it is absolutely no need for concern but dang. i'm almost out of juice boxes as well. :<<

[Neeko nordestina]

Sometimes the realization that i'm atypical hits me like a truck.
I tend to forget that my mind works differently from other people, but there are moments where I really can't run from that fact.
I'm in a situationship with my best friend and today we were playing with a bunch of friends and he left the game and VC pretty suddenly.
Now I finally got him to reply and found out that he has been pretty uncomfortable with a lot of things that our friends ask me because they're personal things. The thing is: I thought we were all on the same page. We had really "private conversations" from the day we all started playing together (waaay before the situationship started) and everyone seemed to have fun, I had no idea that this bothered him so much. And honestly I really don't mind answering their questions, it's pretty much the same as someone asking if i'm allergic to peanuts.
If I feel comfortable with someone, i'm willing to share anything with them, no filter. He always said this was what made me so comfortable to be around and that he felt he could share anything with me. But now it's the opposite. I'm so confused.
I am genuinely trying to understand what is a private matter for him, but I just can't no matter how hard I try. At this point it's better if I just shut up and not reply to anyone

[dakotapaws]

i wish theyd just call and tell me if i need to switch meds again. im tired of waking up every hour/hour and a half. im exhausted. im tired of these symptoms and being in pain. sure it might be helping one symptom but if it was working it doesnt feel like it is now. i dont feel good. im so sick of this stupid disease. i miss how this wasnt something i worried about before. i hate it.

[67Phlox]

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[qtip]

wht did i do wrongg