TheComfortCorner | V.10

[Soy Sauce]

“YES REGINA NO REGINA EVERY WAKING HOUR, I SPEND MAKING SURE REGINA GEORGE CAN STAY IN POWER. IF REGINA IS THE SUN THAN IM A DISCO BALL, CAUSE IM JUST AS BRIGHT AND FUN IT YOUVE HAD —“

[♥ mizu]

ok i have a lot on my mind

1. my "friend" made a sexist joke today :/ he's a young boy so it's not too surprising but it's so disappointing. he told me to go make him a sandwich. it was so awkward because he was the only one laughing. like it was embarrassing for him and he didn't seem to even notice. so i set him straight and then went to the teacher lol

2. my mom is back in the hospital. she got there at 11 and was admitted around 6. she's showing signs of a stroke. she can't walk on her own very steadily. i don't like her as a person, but... i was sitting in the waiting room and this mom and her daughter were there. the mother was chatting with me, then she said, "honey, your mother loves you very much. i can just tell". and it really hit me. my mother may be a mean, cruel person and i cannot forgive her past mistakes but. i may not have much time left with her. i do genuinely love her. she's my mom, my mother, my mommy. she took care of little me, albeit poorly, she was still there. she travelled the world to have me. she literally spent tens of thousands of dollars just to have me put into her body as an embryo. i am her whole life. she has nobody but me, because everybody else has left her. no matter what, i am her entire life. i am to her as i am to my dog, if that makes sense. i am the only one who loves her and i am the only one that she loves.

it is an awful feeling. because i am stuck. i cannot stand being around her because of her personality, but literally everything that she does is for me. she would kill or die for me, and that is not an exaggeration. she has a poor character but i am her everything. i have been ignoring her for the past few years and have completely emotionally disconnected from her - maybe that is why she has slipped so fast. holy crap. i am the only reason that she is still alive and i disconnected from her. she has no reason to be alive. she has no job, no friends, she never goes out, she has nothing. she has nobody and nothing but me. this is devastating. i love my mother and i never had a genuine emotional connection to her because every time i tried she ruined it. but now she's declining rapidly and it feels like i will forever lose that part of me. i don't even know anyone from her family because they disowned her. i barely know my mother as a person. i truly feel exhausted. and yet life goes on

my life is so weird. my parents are both in their late 60s, and i'm not even an adult yet. i express myself as an immature young girl but i really don't feel that way inside. i know how to take care of myself and others. i'm so consumed by stress constantly and i don't feel like myself. i don't remember the last time that i did. maybe when i was with my friends a few years ago? i've lost myself. "who is [bliss/mizu]?" i don't know her, i don't. online i feel more like myself, but i could never act this way in real life. i don't want to, not because of shame - i just don't want to. i feel like a creep in real life. i feel constantly on edge. i am always wondering what other people are thinking. i talk too much.

this is something that i was discussing with my sister, actually. she is in her early 30s, for reference. my dad had her with his first wife at a fairly average age. people my age naturally start to drift away emotionally from their parents. what i'm doing is natural. however, the difference is that usually they become closer with their parents as they age into mature adults. i will never have that opportunity because my parents will be dead. i will have no parents. i will never know my parents and they will never know me. my parents are going to die thinking i'm a bitter young girl and now i'm crying oh my god this hurts so bad oh my god. i'm sobbing. this is so freaking awful. they don't know me. they won't know me. im so freaking sad right now what the hell

[Jarex]

I really hoped it'd be different this time but I guess nobody likes me after all

[screamingrainfrog]

-

[bfdi]

I have no motivation to do art. people bad .

[OKULTRA]

-

[twilispark]

can it please please please please just get better already i can’t take it anymore

[qtip]

valentines day is awful

first, i finally had my hair down for the first time in the quarter and some kid called me ugly. next my friend pulled the chair out from under me and hurt my knee. next this girl did something so innapropriate to me i cant say it but she hurt me. and this guy stole my pencil and i chased him down and i hurt my knee again on a desk. the dippin dots were so good tho. im sad i never have a valentine and only a fictional crush. and i only got 1 thing from valentines meanwhile people had BAGFULLS and so much stuff. i feel so unwanted rn. oh and my scratch account got banned.

[♥ mizu]

my dad and i have such an unhealthy relationship. i wish i didnt have to be so afraid of him bro. i know i shouldnt stay up but it's normal for people my age and im just trying to have some fun

[screamingrainfrog]

Had a panic attack last night and the feeling has carried over to today
I hate this :(