by t i r e d. » Sat Jun 18, 2011 6:41 pm
This is a critique for Becca~ash!
Who the critique is for: Becca~ash
What you had to say about it:
Check your punctuation in the 1st paragraph, instead of using 'time' two times in the same sentence, use 'memory' or something. Repetition get...repetitive xD
Spelling/Punctuation:
Paragraph 1:
lifes = life's
speical = special
Paragraph 2:
Suddenly, hot tongs seared my right wing, I yelped in pain, crying harder = Suddenly, hot tongs seared my right wing and I yelped in pain, crying harder
stomauch = stomach
for food, then, one unfortunate day I blacked out...= for food, then, one unfortunate day, I blacked out
Paragraph 4:
soiciaty= society
diffrent= different
speicalties= specialities (Not sure this is a real word....)
bloking = blocking
Maybe, to spice things up a bit, make yourself the one that helped the little foxeh out? Sorry if this wasn't much help, it's mainly spelling, but I'm sure it does help. Overall, it's very nice though. I love the little poem that goes with it.