TheComfortCorner | V.9

[peachiye_tea]

The switching is getting worse. I was on the floor for 3 hours with alters switching like crazy. Theres over 100 of us in my head, I want it to be the way it was with just us 15.

I'm so confused about myself, everything is so scary. The voices are so loud, everything is so confusing. The people in my head, they grow stronger everyday, I need to know who they are. Is this real? Tell me you're real, tell me I'm not crazy, tell me you're real, please don't go away, you're my friends, please stay, please don't leave me like everyone does. Everyone leaves me, everyone goes. I need you, please stay. Please reveal yourselves to me, please don't leave.. Mom doesn't believe me. I need her more than ever now, and she won't be there for me. Please just be there for me, I need you. Please tell me you're real.... Please don't be a sick and twisted dream. I need to know you're real. Do something, anything PROVE it to me!!!!!!!! show me you're real! you keep saying you are! show me! im so confused.

[BigGayDisaster]

The people I'm living with are taking it out on me when my partner called one of them and politely told her to not yell at me for not being able to do things because I'm disabled
I've been called slurs, misgendered, and all sorts of other nasty things
Just because I cannot get up the stairs and climb over a recliner that's in two pieces by myself to move my belongings from one room nobody uses
Luckily, because of laws, I'll have at least 7 days to find somewhere to live if they do decide to hold to their threats of destroying my belongings and locking my animals and I out
I've just been unable to laugh or even smile just in case one of them walks by or hears and decides to yell at me more, which is one of the worst parts of when they're like this
The one's girlfriend is at least seeming like she's appalled by this behavior by people older than me by 40 years
I just hope I can find a safer place to live
It's hard because I'm unemployed, still fighting for disability, and unable to work because the laws allow companies to have things such as "can walk 10 steps" and "can lift 20 lbs above the head" as things one must be able to do to get the job
Here's to hoping they act like it never happened by the morning, like they do every time they blow up like this, and I can at least get around the funds to move

[viles]

• very stupid and silly thing and not big at all (/srs) but i cannot find my drawing tablet but i wanted to draw something for my friend and now i cant bc no tablet and it's an actual drawing and not something i can use my trackpad for,,, i mean maybe i could i just,, idk i wanted it to be nice bc it might be a present??? but now idk and im just upset and feeling frustrated with myself
  
  update: i found the tablet and its stylus so now i feel stupid and silly for other reasons!!! but at least i can try drawing now ^^

[Paprikat]

just... something very exciting is happening this week. Now I'm beginning to question if I should be excited, I mean... it's a big commitment. I don't want to lose her... I have this sick feeling that I thought was excitement but I guess not

[ghostbite]

i wish i could disappear or finally find peace in this place between heaven and hell. i feel like im drowning in my darkness and i cant tell how much longer i can take this. venting wont help, positive words/support wont help, nothing helps anymore. im at the edge. i feel like im letting everyone down yet giving it my all at the same time.

[LittleMaple]

Someone is here and whoever they ate they even very loud and excited and I dont want to talk to people rn (spoons? Idk maybe) but I am hungry. I think they left so imma go get ice cream. Minor thing, but sometimes I get to be selfish <3

[basil!]

im genuinely losing it and i thik its all my fault
my dad just got back from the hospital and i had to comfort my mom during it. thats wahtever. but hes literally been back for two days and already things are spiraling.
he keeps telling me that because i let my grades slip this semester im goinjg to get rescinded from the college i chose and that i should have just gone to another choice that is closer to home. so mayn things have gone wrong w this college and now im terrified that i made the wrong decision and im either going to be rescinded and have all of my plans for the future andf hard work ruined or im going to hate it there. he keeps telling me that im not working right now and if i continue this way im not going to pass college and ill compeltely fail and im scared that that will actualyl happen. i have adhd sometimes it feels out of my control and i cant make myself work and then he tells me if i continue this way i will fail and im scared i wont be able to stop myeslf and that my life is already as good as over because of it. he does also tell me he believes in me in between this so i feel guilty for being so bothered by it. i know both he and my mom are worried and dont wantmy grades to be bad.
i had two tests last week and an ap test tomorrow and then anotehr test that im probably also going to fail! i also had to finish myap portfolio last week and had another ap test and i literally got no sleep. now i have three more aps next week with the first one tmrw and then theyre all in a row. i doint know i just feel so stupid and like i wont be able to do it. i dont know what to do it feels so utterly useless.
my dad keeps walking into my room or standing behind me silently and seeing that im not doing my work and then telling me off for it or making me turn whatever im doing off or stuff. i dont know i feel like such a baby. its totallymy fault for not doign what im supposed to do and hes just trying to fix it but i feel like i have no priovacy and get scared when he suddenly appears behind me. i cant close the door to my room either. but its also my fault fornot doing my work so idk its probably justified andim just being a brat.
my baby brother keeps getting sick and hes fine but my mom has mental breakdowns and thinks that he is dying. my dad breathes down both of our necks and makes things worse. i am tired of hearing screaming and i am tired of being told that im failing in everything. i feel like its all my afult and everything is falling apart. i hate myself. when my dad was hospitalized earlier this week part of me was happy he was out of the house. im a disgusting person. i just dont know what to do anymore or how to make things right i dont want to tlak to them and i think its myfault for nnever gettinhg my work done.
i dont know ! im going to college next year and i guess that will resolve the issues with my parents but now i feel like even my college plans will fall through! maybe ill get rescinded or ill hate it there and then what willi do ! i dont know i dont know anymore

[BlueEyedKite]

I'm sure I am extra sad because it will be my first Mother's Day since losing my mom coming up but:

Anyone the friend that always reaches out? Always asking the questions, sending the texts, coming up with hang outs? Don't you wish if you stopped reaching out your friends would make the first move? Ask how you are doing? Set up a time to hang?

I emotionally can't do it, but if I don't be the person who does everything I will have no one. Sucks

[marciplier]

i dont know why i never seem to fit in

[flooxii]

oh so now you decide to be "nice"?


please go away.