EmilineRose wrote:My boyfriends uncle passed yesterday, and he's very upset about it, and I don't know what to do to help him. He kept telling me to leave him alone on the phone last night, and to hang up, but I couldn't, so I let him yell, to me, and at me and stayed on the phone for 3 hours until I heard him snoring on the other end. I'm not sure if that was the right thing to do.
I dont know how to help.
If anyone has advice for helping a loved one who's recently lost a family member please help me. I don't know what to do and it hurts so much seeing him in the amount of pain he is feeling. He barely smiled at work today, and when I went to talk to him, he could barely say 5 words to me.
I need advice on how to help him please
Hi!
I'm no way an expert on this, but as someone who's gone through grief and whose loved ones have gone through grief, I would say this: be patient, listen and try to figure out what they need/want.
Grief is different for everyone, some like to truly be left alone so they can process it by themselves, some need comfort and closeness. But what I think all need in a time of grief: time. It sucks when it feels like you can't really do anything to make it better and in a way you really can't, not like time can. But that's okay. In the mean time, just be there. Be there and make them know you are there, available for them if/when they need you.
I think one of the most important things is to figure out what your boyfriend truly needs, do they need someone to listen to them vent or do they need time on their own. You could also try and ask this from them directly. The fact that they didn't hang up the call themselves tells me that it could be just to vent and get the emotions out. (but if it become too hard to you, you should always tell them, don't take more than you can carry).
When someone who's close to you is going through something like this, it's hard for you too. Don't be too hard to yourself either. <3