by oddish » Fri Mar 31, 2023 6:13 pm
ive had my job for 3 years. its my entire life. my only friends are my coworkers, i spend 8-14 hours there a day, 6, sometimes 7 days a week, and it’s all that i think about when i’m home. as boring as my everyday routine is, its my routine. i dont know what id do without it. i think my coworkers like me. i think my managers like me. but i’ll never truly know. ill always be insecure. ill always be scared. if i got fired, without getting into specifics, i would not be able to handle it. and here i am, up late, mind racing, thinking, “i suppose i was slacking a bit after close on wednesday”. as nice as (k) can be, he’s only like that half of the time. when he’s not joking around, sitting in his car next to mine on our lunch, windows down, talking about our weekend, our experiences, our thoughts, he’s yelling. he’s pointing out all the mistakes i’ve made. he’s making me do all the work he was supposed to as he’s leaving early, even though it’s not my job. he’s making fun of me. it’s a surprise which version i see. and maybe when i walk in tomorrow, 9:30am on the dot, early as always, i’ll be pulled into the office and let go by the side of him i dread. i truly hate my life. but it is all i have. i wish i wasn’t always so anxious, but when you’re entire life, metaphorically of course, is on the line every day, it’s really, really difficult to be content at all. anyways, i’m heading off to bed to attempt to get some amount of rest if i can. my whining is purposeless, job security is a joke, life is supposed to be boring, and i am nothing but a body meant to work. goodnight.

he/she | adult
i dont talk alot