This year has definitely made me hate my birthday. I already knew today would be a hard day because I am constantly upset with myself over how little I have seemed to progress in life compared to others, but I didn't anticipate it being as bad as it has been. Growing up I never had many friends and would get sad about my birthday for that reason, but I really thought at this point in my life I had more people that cared, even if it's just a few. Of course, I appreciate those who reach out to me, but they are my parents and close family members. What's most upsetting is that my partner of over seven years didn't tell me happy birthday on his own accord, when it was brought up at my parent's house just a few hours prior. That really hurt. It also hurts that only one of my friends told me happy birthday, while the others did not. It does hurt that my close friends don't remember, but on social media, it reminds others of others' birthdays as well. I don't know, it just really hurts. I don't want gifts or anything extravagant, it would just be nice to be remembered. I remember all of my close friends' birthdays and I remember my partner's birthday, of course. I am the type of person to message somebody at midnight wishing them a happy birthday, not that I expect others to do that. It would just be nice to be remembered and interacted with. I have spent the day crying to myself wondering why I will never receive the thought, care, and love that I pour out into other people who I consider important. It just really hurts.